You know that rock musical for the stage? The one that begins with a mop-headed hooker being pulled into an alley by a man in a giant owl head who does flips? And a Marilyn Monroe lookalike playing the sax while her dress billows up? No? Good, because it only exists in Stagefright, so you … Continue reading Stagefright (1987)
After the super-hot, high-fashion model Celine (Elsa Pataky of Fast Five) disappears one night in Italy, her almost-as-hot sister, Linda (Emmanuelle Seigner, Mrs. Roman Polanski), persuades goateed FBI inspector Enzo Avolfi (Adrien Brody) to help find her. In a voice that apes Columbo, he agrees, but only because he suspects she’s been abducted by a … Continue reading Giallo (2009)
Professor Alan Whitmore doesn’t like spiders. We know this because through the entirety of Italy’s The Spider Labyrinth, first-time director Gianfranco Giagni keeps flashing back to a childhood incident in which Whitmore (a mamby-pamby Roland Wybenga) was locked in a closet with one big mofo of a creepy crawler. What’s this have to do with … Continue reading The Spider Labyrinth (1988)
Call it Dario Argento’s adaptation of Video Poker. Just don’t call it slow to get going. In the first scene, its simple plot is already in place: A madman has invited policewoman Anna Mari (Stefania Rocca) to play a game of online poker. The stakes? The life of the young woman he’s nabbed, bound, gagged … Continue reading The Card Player (2004)
If you like horror movies and are familiar with the films of Barbara Steele and don’t like them, go to your room right now. You’re in time out until I tell you it’s okay to rejoin the human race. The Ghost was her fifth spook show and a sequel of sorts to the previous year’s … Continue reading The Ghost (1963)