Call it Dario Argento’s adaptation of Video Poker. Just don’t call it slow to get going. In the first scene, its simple plot is already in place: A madman has invited policewoman Anna Mari (Stefania Rocca) to play a game of online poker. The stakes? The life of the young woman he’s nabbed, bound, gagged and set in front of a webcam. The rules? First to three hands wins. And for each hand Anna loses, he “will amputate something.”
This being Argento, la polizia initially lose, and a nude corpse soon washes ashore with a joker card stored in her vagina and a seed shoved up her nose. Oh, well — better luck next time, newbie!
After wising up, the cops recruit a young poker expert (Silvio Muccino) to spar in future matches, which comes in handy when the chief’s daughter is one of the unsuspecting victims. Horror elements aside, The Card Player is really a mystery — more CSI than Suspiria — and one not too terribly tough at figuring out. The draw — no pun intended — is seeing what Argento does with it. Sad to say, but few shots carry his once-magic, instantly recognizable touch. Anyone could have directed this telefilm (but, it should be noted, a telefilm with nipples, pubic hair and “fuck!”).
That said, his script tries to make up for a lack of suspense with a few
perverse touches. Some work (howdy, spiked trap door!); others don’t (watching two people on train tracks play poker on a laptop is as dull as, well, watching two people play poker on a laptop). Argento nearly squanders all goodwill with this Player‘s final line/shot. Cliché alert! —Rod Lott