What do you get when you combine the plot of a bad ’50s sci-fi alien invasion movie with the visual aesthetics of a backyard slasher film and add just a dash of early-’80s porno sensibility? A terrible mess, naturally, but a strangely compelling mess for those not overly offended by others’ incompetence.
Evils of the Night features John Carradine, Julie Newmar and Tina Louise as alien doctors sent to our world to harvest “platelets” from healthy teenagers in order to help keep their population young beyond their years (which leads us to believe that Carradine must be a million years old by this point).
Despite their noble attempts to harvest these platelets without killing their unwilling donors, many of the kids die as a result of the harsh methods employed by their chief kidnappers, two mentally deficient mechanics (Neville Brand and Aldo Ray). The fact that we don’t actually care if any of these kids survive does have a somewhat negative impact on the movie’s overall tension.
Its brief running time is padded with a couple of spliced-in softcore interludes featuring well-known era porn stars Crystal Breeze, Amber Lynn and Jerry Butler, which — along with the minimal clothing worn by most of the female cast — makes the movie feel far sleazier than its plot requires. By the end, the (unintentional) joke does wear thin and it becomes hard to resist the temptation of your fast-forward button, but until then, Evils of the Night is just too awful for any bad movie fan to resist. —Allan Mott
When 
Anyway, a tour group to Volcano Island is taken hostage by nondescript bad guys doing the bidding of the aptly named Alby the Cruel (Blackie Dammett), who’s confined to a wheelchair, wears fingerless gloves and strokes his pet monkey. His hostages — “such a pitiful group!” — include a Congressman, a girl on heart meds, and Kosugi’s two real-life sons, one of whom lights a would-be rapists’ ass on fire.
Also known as simply Girly, it sounds creepy, and could be if the movie weren’t trying so hard to be mysterious in a zany sort of way. My guess is that the play was long on black comedy in the absurdist manner so popular at the time, and Francis’ tendency, naturally enough, was to play up the horrific aspects, and the two approaches to the material do not mix well at all.