Big Ass Spider! needs a lesson in basic punctuation. Its title includes an exclamation point that is not needed, yet excludes the hyphen that is. After all, this is a movie about a big-ass spider, not an ass spider that also is big. (I do not know what an ass spider is. Oh, if only … Continue reading Big Ass Spider! (2013)→
Bachelor journalist Alan Foster (Anthony Franciosa, Tenebre) wanders into a bar late at night where that nutball Edgar Allan Poe (played by nutball Klaus Kinski, 1979’s Nosferatu) is holding the tavern spellbound with his tales of mystery and horror. Some dude mentions to Foster that no one has survived a night in a neighboring haunted … Continue reading Web of the Spider (1971)→
It’s appropriate that Spiders’ third act hinges on a trip to a toy store, because what is its sector of science fiction but a big game of pretend? Directed by The Gate’s Tibor Takács, Spiders proves as harmless and hard-hitting as a Nerf football. A Soviet space station containing experimental arachnids crashes into the New … Continue reading Spiders 3D (2013)→
As the seventh in the utterly splendid, 14-film series that paired Basil Rathbone and Nigel Bruce as Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson, 1944’s The Spider Woman is one of the most purely entertaining. It’s also as close as the franchise got to adapting Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s “The Adventure of the Speckled Band” story — … Continue reading The Spider Woman (1944)→
In the Spider-Man spoof Spiderbabe, Misty Mundae plays Patricia Porker, a hot female nerd who is bitten by her science teacher’s giant arachnid. At first, she just feels sick, but then a car comes along and — whoosh! — she is crawling on the walls of a building. Spider-Man enthusiasts will recall this scene from … Continue reading Spiderbabe (2003)→