Easy-Listening Acid Trip: An Elevator Ride Through ’60s Psychedelic Pop

What’s a book on “elevator music” doing on a movie site like this? Well, when you’re Joseph Lanza’s Easy-Listening Acid Trip: An Elevator Ride Through ’60s Psychedelic Pop, barely a spread goes by without one film or another either mentioned in passing or discussed in detail. Metaphorically speaking, does any other text allow Ronnie Aldrich to rub elbows with Russ Meyer?

A rather intoxicating companion to Lanza’s seminal 1994 work, Elevator Music, this square (in size and subject) paperback from the mighty Feral House is more spin-off than sequel, in which the author casts his ears and pen toward the flower-power era and its unlikely marriage of hippie music covered and co-opted by the chronically unhip. And thank God they did!

Acid Trip’s opening chapters serve as a crash course in the history of “mood music”: soothing instrumentals so nonthreatening, they’re vanilla. Ranging from Muzak to orchestra-backed crooners, the easy-listening genre enjoyed a quiet run of roughly three decades before a dose of LSD turned it into a highly carbonated vanilla soda. Suddenly, such mood-music masters as Percy Faith, Lawrence Welk and 101 Strings were making mainstream waves and chart hits by covering rock acts from Bob Dylan to The Beach Boys, not to mention theme songs from blockbuster films as varied as Airport, Midnight Cowboy, The Thomas Crown Affair and Rosemary’s Baby.

Not only that, but the studio-based artists often did so with more innovation than they get credit for, likely because listeners approach the material with closed ears — if they dare approach it at all — and are predisposed to dismiss it as wallpaper. This, if nothing else, is Acid Trip’s Big Takeaway. Lanza aims to prove the snobbery wrong — and succeeds. He describes tracks so richly (e.g., “soft, chewy, melodic center” and “a creamy, orchestral soft-serve”) that even if you’re unfamiliar with them, you come away knowing exactly how they sound. Trips to YouTube will prove it; that the book is not packaged with an accompanying soundtrack is its only negative.

As Lanza guides us through this lounge-adjacent America, seeing it from the birth of surf to the post-Hair fallout, he pauses to give more ink on seminal acts and songs of influence. In the former group, you have The Beatles and The Doors, whose singles caused controversy among pearl-clutchers for alleged sex-and-drugs content — some valid, most imagined — yet perfectly fine among the same audience when turned into orchestral confections void of lyrics. Every now and then, particular attention is paid to an entire album, such as Forever Changes, the divisive third (and final) LP from Arthur Lee’s Love. While considered a masterpiece today, the record was commercially and critically derided upon release as Love’s hard-charging rock that won over Whiskey a Go Go had suddenly downshifted — without warning — to a relaxed flavor of baroque pop emblematic of the tune-in/turn-on times.

In the latter group, you have Paul Mauriat’s “Love Is Blue,” The Lemon Pipers’ “Green Tambourine,” Scott McKenzie’s “San Francisco (Be Sure to Wear Flowers in Your Hair),” actor Richard Harris’ “MacArthur Park” and more, each bearing an incredible backstory and each sparking a multitude of covers that pour from the faceless Hollyridge Strings, the twin pianos of Ferrante & Teicher, the mysterious Mystic Moods Orchestra, the mad hits of Bert Kaempfert and so many others. In fact, Easy-Listening Acid Trip closes with an A-to-Z appendix of 50 such standards, “Psychedelic Favorites Refurbished,” providing discographic details for completists of “Never My Love,” “A Whiter Shade of Pale” and 48 more.

If you’ve ever read any of Lanza’s cultural history lessons, including last year’s The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Film That Terrified a Rattled Nation, you know to expect a heavily researched, but breezy tour filled with incredible sights — in this case, full-color album art every few pages, potentially hallucinogenic and definitely addicting. —Rod Lott

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Pervertissima (1972)

As much as it sounds like a ribald musical notation, Pervertissima instead takes us into the world of sleazy French journalism as a comely young girl with a possible herpes sore on her upper lip and absolutely no reporting skills is sent into Gay Paree for a piece on “Love in Paris.”

Admitting she’s a virgin to the overt sexaholics on the paper’s staff, she is sent to brothels, dance clubs and an avant garde sex ritual, none of which has anything to do with love, but I guess I see the point. What I don’t see the point of is how she ends up in the clinic of a mad scientist who dreams of ruling the world like a god — his words — through ineffectual mating experiments.

And as jarring as the switch from a low-rent skin flick to a no-scares horror movie is, even that is nothing compared to the horrendous sexual harassment the females of the film go through, from the boss randomly kissing secretaries quite passionately to a rapist reporter who, in the middle of a meeting, tries to get off on our lead actress. Maybe Mad Men was right?

Regardless, this bizarre mélange of fragrant trash is best credited to director Jean-Louis van Belle, known for equally de-rousing flicks like Forbidden Paris, The Lady Kills and Made in Sex, all of which sounds like great names for terrible New Romantic bands. —Louis Fowler

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Slash Dance (1989)

In the VHS bonanza, Slash Dance earned an audience on the basis of a title that rode the coattails leg warmers of Flashdance and box art that promised a flesh-filled slasher film. In reality, it’s a low-wattage thriller with zero nudity and even less welding. Well, at least they weren’t lying about the lycra.

As several actresses and dancers go missing after auditions at a shoebox of a theater, LAPD cop Tori Raines (former GLOW wrestler Cindy Maranne) goes undercover there — or at least in theory, since she fails to operate under a pseudonym — in hopes of cracking the case. As luck would have it, she is one of five ladies selected for the musical, which apparently consists of one song, sounding strikingly similar to “Alley Cat.” Prepare to hear it on what may as well be a loop, as writer/director James Shyman (Hollywood’s New Blood) includes multiple rehearsal scenes — so many that the murder-mystery aspect of the plot gets bumped to subplot status to make way for his homemade, unofficial remake of A Chorus Line.

Still, Slash Dance has a little going for it, one being Maranne’s performance. Like her by-the-book cop character, it has a just-the-facts approach that suggests she’s a total pro; whether the movie turns out shoddy, she’s going to treat it as if she were playing both Cagney and Lacey. Compare her work to Jay Richardson (Illegal Affairs) as the police captain, a role he essays with just enough — okay, more than enough — of a shit-eating grin to let viewers know he knows how this thing will turn out, so why exert more than the bare minimum, atonality be damned?

Either not getting the memo or not caring in the slightest is the second highlight, Joel Von Ornsteiner (Mutant Hunt). As Amos, the theater owner’s mentally challenged brother, he steals the show with the kind of character Ben Stiller would play in various forms across the single season (1992-93) of his late, great sketch series. With all the swagger of a Sweathog and affecting a voice that fluctuates between innocence and insolence, Amos lets loose with one unfiltered and accidental bon mot after another, from “Shouldn’t you be out wiggling your butt … and not your tongue” to “Maybe he’s out someplace looking for a place to flop his dick out.” What a feeling! —Rod Lott

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Gemini (1999)

When I was around 12 years old, almost every weekend I’d walk the mile up the road to the closest Blockbuster and rent three or four movies, with its cult selection the best thing I had ever since Sound Warehouse shut its doors forever.

As basic as the small group of movies were, it did have the Shinya Tsukamoto film Tetsuo: The Iron Man, a cyberpunk masterpiece of gray-matter metal, complete with a massive drill as a penile substitute. Shocked and awed, I copied the film on my VHS setup and watched it repeatedly for the next year, becoming a big fan of Tsukamoto in the process.

While I have seen many of his films since, the pseudo-period piece Gemini has always escaped my eyes until now, ultimately revealing his most challenging film yet. Based on the short story by Edogawa Rampo, it is set in the Japan of 1910 as former military doc Yukio (Masahiro Motoki) has settled down, now practicing private medicine and married to the charming amnesiac, Rin (Ryo).

With a plague destroying the surrounding slums, Yukio finds his upper-crust world crumbling when he saves a drunk politician instead of a poor mother and her baby. As a somersaulting man in dirty robes invades his house and kills his parents, Yukio soon finds himself stuck at the bottom of a well as the homeless villain — who looks exactly like him, by the way — takes over his life above.

While trapped, Yukio reverts to an animal-like state while the interloper, named Sutekichi (also Motoki), seduces said wife as we learn of the impoverished life and lusty connection they once had as well.

Utilizing a well-versed combination of classic filmmaking skills and industrial know-how, Gemini is an uncomfortable film, possibly more than any of Tsukamoto’s other kinetic flicks, if only for his ability to have his already-unlikable characters mechanically transform into even worse human-sized kaiju who can do more destruction than Godzilla and Gamera combined.

It’s something that, unexpectedly even for this type of film, is on full display here, both physically and emotionally. It’s pure grotesquerie that, if you’re able to connect with it, can leave anyone fully unsettled, just as much when I saw Tetsuo all those maggot-riddled years ago. —Louis Fowler

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The Mummy Theme Park (2000)

After Stephen Sommers’ adventure-stuffed remake of Universal’s The Mummy made a mint in the summer of 1999, a wave of low-budget mummy movies hit DVD, including Russell Mulcahy’s Tale of the Mummy, Bram Stoker’s The Mummy and, um, Tony Curtis in The Mummy Lives.

And then there’s The Mummy Theme Park. Containing all the enthusiasm its generic title can muster, it wasn’t so much released as it was dropped from director Alvaro Passeri’s rectum.

Are you ready for stunning ineptitude? (You’re not, no matter what you think. I’m just asking because I’m a polite host.)

So in Egypt, an earthquake reveals an ancient underground city filled with mummies. Naturally, a sheik (Cyrus Elias, Roger Corman’s Frankenstein Unbound) does what anyone with do with such an archaeological find: Turn it into a theme park. And what will he name this vacation destination built to attract visitors from all reaches of the globe? The Mummy Theme Park. One assumes it wasn’t tested through focus groups.

Wanting to hire “the best” photographer ASAP to snap promo pics, the sheik — who looks like Nathan Lane dressed as Jafar on Halloween — flies Daniel Flynn (Adam O’Neil, in his only credit) and initially platonic assistant Julie (Holly Laningham, Fashionably L.A.) over from America. Daniel’s shutterbug experience seems limited to shooting topless women, but that fits right in with the sheik keeping a sizable harem, whose members sport inner-thigh “THE SHIEK” tattoos and say things like, “You think the sheik will like my boobs, hmm?”

Daniel and Julie get a thorough tour of the park by train, from the lab where corpses are “reanimated” via microchip (causing one skeleton to do a ha-cha-cha dance), to the concession area where the menu includes items like “Cream of Isis” and beer is dispensed tastefully through the beard of a pharaoh. Admittedly, the many, many POV shots moving along the tracks look cool, but that’s it; everything else looks false, because it is. Cars and trains are toys, and most of the movie utilizes either green-screen or rear-projection techniques for backgrounds. Fittingly, every line of dialogue is dubbed in post, yet using tones in which people don’t actually speak.

The supposed horror finally kicks in when a flash from Daniel’s camera triggers the microchip of a mummy, startling him to come alive and attack; the science totally checks out. This mummy can walk through walls. Being pursued by this Charmin-bound man, Daniel notices the mummy staring at Julie’s breasts, so he orders her to open her blouse to distract the mummy just long enough to be doused in a bucket of acid, conveniently nearby. By gum, it works!

Passeri’s 1994 debut, Creatures from the Abyss (or Plankton, if you prefer), enjoys a small, but solid reputation as a cheap chunk of cheese; The Mummy Theme Park goes one better in somehow being chintzier in every conceivable regard, most notably in the effects department. No greater representation of Passeri’s poor execution exists than when things gets goopy in the last 20 minutes. It’s one thing to see a guy get sword-sliced neatly down the middle like an MGM cartoon cat; it’s another to watch as a mummy grabs the testicles of a man whose face digitally twists in response, as if a Photoshop user navigated to “Filter > Distort > Twirl.”

Resist the urge to navigate your remote to “Eject” or “Power Off,” lest you miss the different kind of goop running through The Mummy Theme Park’s final frames: romance! After decrying the park for offending the memory of the pharaohs, the aptly named Queen of Eternity (Helen Preest) cuddles with a mummy in a train car headed to, one hopes, a love nest in which he can stare at her breasts without fear or risk of dissolution. We wish the same for your psyche. —Rod Lott

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