Switchblade Sisters (1975)

I had the ultimate pleasure to meet director Jack Hill in the early 2000s, when he was a at a local college campus showing a double feature that included Switchblade Sisters, a film that gained new prominence once Quentin Tarantino’s Rolling Thunder Pictures reissued it to theaters.

One of my favorite films since a rental in the early ’90s from a now long-gone video store in Oklahoma City, it was thrilling to see it on the (somewhat) big screen and even more thrilling to meet the soft-spoken man who made it, a film that he described as a modern (as modern as the ’70s can be, I suppose) take on Othello.

Switchblade Sisters tells the story of blonde Maggie (Joanne Nail, in short shorts and high-heeled boots), a streetwise teenager who, after a scuffle in a local burger bar, ends up in a girl gang called the Dagger Debs, led by Lace (Robbie Lee, who has always reminded me of a Depression-era youth). When her boyfriend, the leader of the Silver Daggers, dies, they become the Jezebels, the meanest bunch of teen troublemakers in town.

However, when high school sleaze Crabs (Chase Newhart, channeling his evil Eaglebauer) tries to take full control, the Jezebels team up with a Black militant squad led by Muff (Marlene Clark, who really should have had a spin-off flick) and take the dirty motherfucker and his boys down, by any means necessary, which, thankfully, includes plenty of machine guns.

A box-office dud upon release, Switchblade Sisters effectively killed Hill’s career, but, even watching it now, the amount of guts on display here proves that he was far ahead of his time, delivering a movie that would probably make at least good money at Redbox, capitalizing on all the things that have made movies in general great over the years: rowdy girl gangs, dark violence, black humor, Black nationalism and, I guess, Shakespeare.

Well, at least all the things I love in a movie. —Louis Fowler

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Maximum Impact (1992)

At just 61 minutes — and not a minute more! — Maximum Impact appears built upon minimal effort. Shot on video in Ohio, the movie even makes a case against itself from the start with opening credits slowly unfolding atop more than three minutes of burning paper.

Huntsacker Industries insurance salesman Jerry Handley (Ken Jarosz) lives the life of Riley, what with a job, a pretty(-enough) fiancée named Jan (Jo Norcia) and an operational Ford Taurus; judging by the needless footage of him driving it — and smiling while doing so — he sure seems to be pleased. He’s traveling to a big corporate meeting held in a rather tight room, where he reconnects with his estranged best bud, Phil (Scott Emerman). Post-meeting, the dudes reconvene at a diner to reminiscence over chips and queso about that great time when they went skinny-dipping. Together. Just the two of them. At age 12. (Note this odd conversation takes place under a sign reading “Snacktacular!”)

Their bonding sesh is interrupted by a scar-faced, ponytailed Huntsacker heavy (Bill Morrison) who invites them to a company-paid prostitution party later than night at HQ. Phil accepts, not realizing he’s being set up to star in a snuff film. At least he gets a little bra-and-panty action with his reluctant scene partner, Tonya (Christine Morrison), before being murdered. Being suspicious and nosy, Jerry witnesses the whole thing going down through the cracked door. When the cameraman (Michael Cagnoli) steps out to meet the pizza deliveryman, Jerry steps in and flees with Tonya.

In doing his best to keep this total (but fairly curvy) stranger alive, Jerry fails at affording his future wife the same fate — oops! Jerry’s loss is the viewer’s gain — assuming said viewer hasn’t checked out by then — as he takes revenge with an armory’s worth of loaded weapons.

Maximum Impact is, as you’ve guessed, a mess — one acknowledged by its makers, who hide behind pseudonyms. Most notable among them is director Lance Randas, actually DIY diehard J.R. Bookwalter, whose second-made feature, Robot Ninja, can be seen on Jerry and Jan’s TV screen (as can the reflection of a crew member holding a blanket in a failed attempt to block incoming light for day-for-night deception). Bookwalter made the woefully underfunded Maximum Impact as best as one can with a paltry $2,500; nearly every penny is onscreen. After all, chips and queso aren’t free! Nor is makeup, and the scar on the Huntsacker muscle’s face looks just like the one my younger brother had applied at our 1980 elementary school fair for three whole tickets.

I’m thankful for each shortcoming on both sides of Bookwalter’s camcorder, because without them, Maximum Impact would be unwatchable. I’d say you could skip it entirely, but then you’d never hear this line of dialogue in your life: “His schlong fell off! Who knew?” —Rod Lott

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The Paper Tigers (2020)

The older I get, the more I realize that I’m doomed to watch these dumb young kids get all the good dumb action movie roles; it’s like babysitting a kid who knows how to punch and kick — a job I really don’t want or need. So maybe that’s why I absolutely loved The Paper Tigers so much.

Capturing three 40-something men who are stuck in the dire pit of utter mundanity and near hopelessness, they claw their way back above ground with the help of remembering their martial arts upbringing and the man that taught them. That’s an idea and execution I can fully get behind and support.

Danny (Alain Uy) is a failing insurance salesman who has long put his kung-fu training behind him. When his old ramshackle teacher is murdered by a pupil, he hooks back up with his long-lost friends — a disabled Hing (Ron Yuen) and MMA instructor Jim (Mykel Shannon Jenkins) — to track down the killer, who happens to be working as an assassin using a secret method that was never taught to the now-aged men.

And while the fight scenes are definitely enjoyable to watch, the film never backs away from the realities of getting old, from the slower stamina to the years of absolute regret that can build up. As the trio face these realized difficulties, they take on a trio of young upstarts, a rival school’s comedic underling and other martial arts tropes that drive the point home, especially in its railing against the mental blocks that stop most people dead in their tracks.

The Paper Tigers has such a good heart — not to mention moments of total action and relatable comedy that only people our age could possibly understand — it feels as though writer and director Quoc Bao Tran has been put through his own paces as well, with the cast charmingly fulfilling it with humor and pathos, something that’s typically missing from many martial arts flicks, especially these days. —Louis Fowler

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Deadly Force (1983)

Los Angeles is under the hysteria-ridden spell of a serial killer in what the press dubs “the X Murders” case, so named for the letter left behind in the foreheads of the dead. Per usual in these things, the police are baffled, when a personal connection to victim No. 16 brings back one of their former own — disgraced cop and expert alcoholic Stoney Cooper (Wings Hauser) — from his busy life in New York, playing sidewalk games of rat roulette and bouncing his soccer ball in doggie droppings.

The only person less enthused than LAPD Capt. Hoxley (Lincoln Kilpatrick, 1987’s Prison) to see Stoney in town is his estranged wife, Eddie (Joyce Ingalls, 1975’s The Man Who Wouldn’t Die), now a TV news reporter. However, one of those two will end up boning Stoney in a hammock before the movie calls it quits.

Deadly Force marks a veritable Vice Squad reunion between Hauser, producer Sandy Howard and co-writer Robert Vincent O’Neil (soon to bring us Angel). This doesn’t near the jolt of their ’82 sleaze classic. How could it? As a solo-vehicle attempt to get Wings off the ground, however, it could be worse. With hair that makes William Katt’s look comparatively subtle, Hauser works his baby face to his advantage. His screen presence makes winsome what less-amiable actors might turn into an asshole.

The only point he risks that goodwill is when his sex scene with Ingalls ventures one tongue flick to the nipple too explicit. That move is more unexpected than director Paul Aaron (A Force of One) employing a sub-Magnum P.I. score as an onomatopoeia, but less expected than a cameo by Golden Girl Estelle Getty as a cabbie who’s — get this! — grouchy. —Rod Lott

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Stardust (2020)

WTFMany critics have slammed the “fictional” David Bowie biopic Stardust for different reasons, ranging from the lack of any true Bowie music to the fact that lead Johnny Flynn’s accent goes strangely in and out. I understand all that, but working within the confines of the chameleon world of Bowie, it does quite an admirable job of shuffling in and out of reality, the way we believe the fictional alien would have.

It’s a year or so before Bowie will release The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars. He’s still in his enchanted folkie period, coming to America for the first time to promote the failing record The Man Who Sold the World, shocking homophobic people with his gender-bending ways while personally dealing with the institutionalization of his brother.

He meets Mercury publicist Rob Oberman (an outstanding Marc Maron), who is eager to work with him, but Bowie is such a bona drag — especially to music reporters — even Oberman grows weary of him. I wonder if, because the film depicts Bowie in a usually unsavory way, that’s one of the reasons that it was so disliked; I am a huge follower of Bowie, but even I recognize that he was something of a jerk much of the time, especially to the media.

Following the duo on a cross-country tour of America — one where he can’t even perform — Bowie manages to piss off everyone, from a local newspaper writer to a supposed bigwig at Rolling Stone. Perfectly capturing the enigmatic brilliance of the games Bowie put these people through, as the film goes on, you feel this is quite fitting for what the man’s public persona was — or at least who we perceived him to be.

What I’ve mostly read though was the sheer displeasure at the absence Bowie songs, instead relying on things like Anthony Newley tunes. Being unauthorized by the family — probably because they want to make their own movie, of course — the film works, while being somewhat off-putting, because besides the actual fans of his music, how many people truly know about Bowie before Ziggy, the defining music and the supposed alien? —Louis Fowler

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