All posts by Louis Fowler

Mean Man: The Story of Chris Holmes (2021)

When you ask the many fans of The Decline of Western Civilization Part II: The Metal Years what their favorite scene is, they’ll probably say those involving an absolutely drunk Chris Holmes, the guitarist for W.A.S.P., nearly drowning in a pool as his mother sits on the edge leering. It is for me.

While I thought he died shortly after that glimpse of living the high life, but turns out he’s alive and kicking around in Europe, where he’s something of a draw with his new band. So that’s a relief, I guess.

In the documentary Mean Man: The Story of Chris Holmes, we learn that W.A.S.P. lead singer Blackie Lawless was an idiotic showman who had no real respect for Holmes; to be fair, almost every night Holmes would get blackout-drunk, culminating in losing his house and sleeping on the couch of his fellow rock buddies, as you’d expect.

Still, even after a couple of new bands and a W.A.S.P. reunion, he needed to express himself “artistically,” culminating in this new tour. From traveling to gigs, playing onstage and recording a new album I’ll never listen to, there are so many moments of inspired comedy, this almost becomes a true-life Spinal Tap.

While there seems to be a lot that doesn’t work for Holmes musically, I’m surprised how much actually does in his own life, at least what the camera shows us. He has a loving and understanding wife; he’s genuinely nice to his fans; and he seems, at least in his head, poised for something of a comeback.

If you can take the corrupt past of Holmes and genuinely separate it into this recent life, Mean Man becomes something of a rock ’n’ roll survivor story. That being said, I’m still not listening to any of his music, but I’m glad he’s still here and still pushing the envelope. —Louis Fowler

Get it at Amazon.

Smooth Talk (1985)

I remember the salacious VHS box for Smooth Talk that sat in the drama section of just about every video store I worked in sometime in the late ’90s, with perennial crush Laura Dern barely clothed as a lascivious Treat Williams stood behind her like the leering bastard he is, at least in this flick.

Even though I never rented it, I stared at that cover every time I passed it. Now having seen it, I’ll admit I felt a little guilt and a lot of perversion for lusting after it, especially upon learning that Dern is a sophomore in high school — even I have my boundaries, people!

Based on a short story by Joyce Carol Oates and directed by documentarian Joyce Chopra, Smooth Talk stars Dern as Connie, a precociously sexual young woman who happens to be the black sheep of her family. While Dad dotes and Mom nags, Connie spends most of her time flirting with boys at the mall and, soon enough, at the local redneck bar.

A sleazy older man by the name of Friend (Williams, at his scummiest) takes a fully erect liking to her, at one point coming to her house and literally wearing her down so she’ll go to an empty field and have sex with him, which does a good job of making the formerly loving act into an ambiguous one I’d be happy to forget about.

I guess there are many things I’m missing about this girl’s budding sexuality, but they’re hard to see every time Williams is onscreen, his diseased sexuality dripping off every frame. I guess it’s mostly surprising this was broadcast on the PBS anthology series American Playhouse, but I’ve been surprised before. —Louis Fowler

Get it at Amazon.

Trucks (1997)

My favorite Stephen King film is probably Maximum Overdrive, with its Emilio Estevez “performance,” AC/DC soundtrack and Green Goblin truck mowing down everything in sight. That being said, Trucks, based on the same material, definitely isn’t.

I’m not sure who or what gave director Chris Thomsan and writer Brian Taggert the wherewithal to make their own version of King’s short story — I’m guessing the USA Network — but none of Overdrive’s very minimal star power, grinding soundtrack or Marvel Comics-inspired vehicular damage is present; instead, everything is replaced with Timothy Busfield and some people outrunning two or three trucks.

A sullen Busfield is Ray, a grease monkey with a not-so-sullen son, both mourning the death of their wife/mother. They run the local garage/diner and, I think, the town’s premier UFO tour with the incredibly bland Hope (Brenda Bakke). As she brings tourists to town, they run amok of the titular automobiles on the roadway, which eventually trap them in the small diner.

While Overdrive was literally filled with bloody gags — both the funny and the cruel kind — Trucks is more sputtering along a road of bloodless gugs, as each large vehicle saunters around the gas station, barely providing any true fear for the trapped veteran actors or hysterical newbies.

You’d think that remaking what many consider to be the worst King flick — again, not me — it would be nothing but up for all involved, but with Trucks, it’s somehow nothing but down — all the way down. —Louis Fowler

Get it at Amazon.

The Batwoman (1968)

Na-na-na-na-na-na-Bat … woman?

On the not-so-sullen streets of Acapulco, a lone vigilante of the daylight stalks her chubby prey using a sporty convertible, a few police pals and, best of all, a lucha libre alter ego with the exact same name: the Batwoman.

When fellow wrestlers are found dead on the beach, she’s called in to help solve these crafty crimes in her very sleek and hyper-sexy costume, which is basically a black bikini with a Batman cowl; if I saw her in real life, my knees would shake, too, but probably not out of fear.

The murderers are (somewhat) evil scientists and their middle-aged henchmen, lounging in lab coats on a luxury yacht near the beach. So powerful is their supposed reign of terror, that at one point the Batwoman shows up on a much smaller speedboat, only to be told to go home … and it works!

In between chasing down leads, of course the Batwoman tears up the mat, practicing wrestling moves and lucha throws, oddly enough in an even bulkier Bat-costume — think her superhero outfit, but as a sweatsuit instead. Still, the various bouts are a great way to stretch out this already thin superhero soup.

Maura Monti, as the Batwoman, is a defiantly sensual presence who does a good job of talking down baddies and clothespinning opponents alike. It’s a strong message The Batwoman should have really gone out on, but instead, it ends with her utterly afraid of a mouse while her police pals laugh at her expense. —Louis Fowler

Get it at Amazon.

Silent Running (1972)

In space, no one can hear you jog, trot and, most especially, run.

That’s actually pretty good, because crazed environmental astronaut Freeman Lowell (Bruce Dern) goes on the lam — the space-lam, that is — into the farthest reaches of the universe, all to protect his beloved plants, including flowers, shrubs and all the cute little insects and animals living in and around them. He’s silently running, see?

With Earth’s precious resources pretty much dead, most of humanity is encased in domes and that can’t be too fun to hang out in. On a massive spaceship carrying one of the few living gardens, Lowell — and a trio of irresponsible living bodies, natch — are in outer space, testing various theories about plant growth or something to that effect.

However, mission control eventually turns tail and decides to blow up the whole project for the sake of capitalism. Lowell goes suitably nuts and kills off his trio of shipmates — thank you, by the way — and heads out into deep space with his newly reprogrammed robot pals in order to save the lives of the remaining plants.

As simplistic as ’70s sci-fi can be, Silent Running is a strange amalgam of subgenres, from, of course, the environmental fear film to a wacky robots flick, but it mostly works thanks to a delightfully off-kilter Dern; in every scene, he looks close to strangling someone, but hopefully not director Douglas Trumbull, who gives the sci-fi film his special-effects all.

Like the spaceship in the film, in the end, Silent Running just explodes under the weight of its own self-importance, something that is, by me, sorely missed in many prophetic science-fiction films, the Joan Baez soundtrack definitely included. —Louis Fowler

Get it at Amazon.