All posts by Louis Fowler

Trucks (1997)

My favorite Stephen King film is probably Maximum Overdrive, with its Emilio Estevez “performance,” AC/DC soundtrack and Green Goblin truck mowing down everything in sight. That being said, Trucks, based on the same material, definitely isn’t.

I’m not sure who or what gave director Chris Thomsan and writer Brian Taggert the wherewithal to make their own version of King’s short story — I’m guessing the USA Network — but none of Overdrive’s very minimal star power, grinding soundtrack or Marvel Comics-inspired vehicular damage is present; instead, everything is replaced with Timothy Busfield and some people outrunning two or three trucks.

A sullen Busfield is Ray, a grease monkey with a not-so-sullen son, both mourning the death of their wife/mother. They run the local garage/diner and, I think, the town’s premier UFO tour with the incredibly bland Hope (Brenda Bakke). As she brings tourists to town, they run amok of the titular automobiles on the roadway, which eventually trap them in the small diner.

While Overdrive was literally filled with bloody gags — both the funny and the cruel kind — Trucks is more sputtering along a road of bloodless gugs, as each large vehicle saunters around the gas station, barely providing any true fear for the trapped veteran actors or hysterical newbies.

You’d think that remaking what many consider to be the worst King flick — again, not me — it would be nothing but up for all involved, but with Trucks, it’s somehow nothing but down — all the way down. —Louis Fowler

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The Batwoman (1968)

Na-na-na-na-na-na-Bat … woman?

On the not-so-sullen streets of Acapulco, a lone vigilante of the daylight stalks her chubby prey using a sporty convertible, a few police pals and, best of all, a lucha libre alter ego with the exact same name: the Batwoman.

When fellow wrestlers are found dead on the beach, she’s called in to help solve these crafty crimes in her very sleek and hyper-sexy costume, which is basically a black bikini with a Batman cowl; if I saw her in real life, my knees would shake, too, but probably not out of fear.

The murderers are (somewhat) evil scientists and their middle-aged henchmen, lounging in lab coats on a luxury yacht near the beach. So powerful is their supposed reign of terror, that at one point the Batwoman shows up on a much smaller speedboat, only to be told to go home … and it works!

In between chasing down leads, of course the Batwoman tears up the mat, practicing wrestling moves and lucha throws, oddly enough in an even bulkier Bat-costume — think her superhero outfit, but as a sweatsuit instead. Still, the various bouts are a great way to stretch out this already thin superhero soup.

Maura Monti, as the Batwoman, is a defiantly sensual presence who does a good job of talking down baddies and clothespinning opponents alike. It’s a strong message The Batwoman should have really gone out on, but instead, it ends with her utterly afraid of a mouse while her police pals laugh at her expense. —Louis Fowler

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Silent Running (1972)

In space, no one can hear you jog, trot and, most especially, run.

That’s actually pretty good, because crazed environmental astronaut Freeman Lowell (Bruce Dern) goes on the lam — the space-lam, that is — into the farthest reaches of the universe, all to protect his beloved plants, including flowers, shrubs and all the cute little insects and animals living in and around them. He’s silently running, see?

With Earth’s precious resources pretty much dead, most of humanity is encased in domes and that can’t be too fun to hang out in. On a massive spaceship carrying one of the few living gardens, Lowell — and a trio of irresponsible living bodies, natch — are in outer space, testing various theories about plant growth or something to that effect.

However, mission control eventually turns tail and decides to blow up the whole project for the sake of capitalism. Lowell goes suitably nuts and kills off his trio of shipmates — thank you, by the way — and heads out into deep space with his newly reprogrammed robot pals in order to save the lives of the remaining plants.

As simplistic as ’70s sci-fi can be, Silent Running is a strange amalgam of subgenres, from, of course, the environmental fear film to a wacky robots flick, but it mostly works thanks to a delightfully off-kilter Dern; in every scene, he looks close to strangling someone, but hopefully not director Douglas Trumbull, who gives the sci-fi film his special-effects all.

Like the spaceship in the film, in the end, Silent Running just explodes under the weight of its own self-importance, something that is, by me, sorely missed in many prophetic science-fiction films, the Joan Baez soundtrack definitely included. —Louis Fowler

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Rolling Thunder Revue: A Bob Dylan Story by Martin Scorsese (2019)

Undoubtedly one of the oddest tours of all time — at least until the 1980s, that is — much of the Rolling Thunder Revue was seen in the 1978 Bob Dylan flick Renaldo and Clara. As watchable as that four-hour movie is to only the biggest of fans — and yes, I’m one of them — much of what was billed as a freewheelin’ variety show has been distilled to about two and a half hours here, thanks to director Martin Scorsese.

In Rolling Thunder Revue: A Bob Dylan Story by Martin Scorsese, Marty recounts the Rolling Thunder tour with a music fan’s eye, while Dylan recounts the matter with the acerbic tongue of a wealthy dowager. We find Dylan back in the mid-’70s, driving the magical mystery tour bus on a musical journey across America and, I guess, Canada, leading his troupe of semi-professionals and hitting on a very young Sharon Stone in between all the musical interludes.

Clad in his shocking-white pancake makeup, the death mask of Dylan took to the smaller stages of many areas usually without such big concerts, oftentimes with singing stagehands and spiritual schlockers such as Joan Baez, Allen Ginsberg and Joni Mitchell, mostly there to keep this train of tra-la-las a-rollin’.

Sure, it might seem like the kind of tragic thing that wouldn’t make it to the next town, but somehow Dylan and crew kept it going, which is especially triumphant considering he was spending far more than he made with each stop. Even though it wasn’t earning anything, the tour gained plenty of ground and earned Dylan plenty of fans. Still, in the end, this is a Scorsese flick and he manages to make a great documentary out of another man’s canister-rotting film. Besides, how else was anyone going to see it? —Louis Fowler

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Vibes (1988)

Originally intended by Hollywood to star Cyndi Lauper and Dan Aykroyd, the feature film Vibes instead stars Cyndi Lauper and Jeff Goldblum. While both Aykroyd and Goldblum are the quintessential movie nerds, each would have played the character of Nick Deezy very differently, with Goldblum’s being the perfect blend of lost and delirious that the movie needed.

Aykroyd, on the other spectral hand, made a date with The Couch Trip instead.

After meeting in a New York University study on parapsychology — I think — psychics Nick and Sylvia (Lauper) become engrossed in the seemingly drunk Harry (Peter Falk) and his tall tales of mental riches in South America. But with Nick’s memory of objects and Sylvia’s ghost-whispering, they find out it’s just some get-rich-quick scheme, all the while somehow falling in love. Somehow.

Aykroyd, on the other spectral hand, made a date with The Great Outdoors instead.

Once Nick and Sylvia, along with Harry, make it to Ecuador, so does a weird, chubby German guy with a real name made out of baby words I will not type here. As he tries various ways to assassinate them, including a strange sexual imposition from seductress Elizabeth Peña, it turns out to be a plot by an NYU professor (Julian Sands).

Aykroyd, on the other spectral hand, made a date with Caddyshack II instead.

Directed with a heavy hand and a birdbrain toward the weird by Ken Kwapis as his follow-up to Sesame Street Presents: Follow That Bird, this film is most famous as Lauper’s bid for silver-screen stardom crashed and burned; maybe a better film would be how being in such a mediocre movie would trap her on an Trivial Pursuit: Totally 80s card.

Aykroyd, on the other spectral hand, made a date with My Stepmother Is an Alien instead. —Louis Fowler

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