All posts by Rod Lott

Confession Stand with Megan Ward

Actress Megan Ward has starred in Joe’s Apartment, The Brady Bunch Movie and the TV series Dark Skies, whose complete run is now available on DVD from Shout! Factory.

FLICK ATTACK: Hi, Megan! So where are you today?

WARD: I’m at home today. I just put away, like, eight boxes of Christmas decorations in the back shed, and I feel like I deserve a cocktail or something for it.

FLICK ATTACK: Drink up!

WARD: No, it’s a little too early. But I swear, it was exhausting! So if I’m a little out of breath, that’s why.

FLICK ATTACK: I forgive you. So I was doing last-minute IMDb research and I learned that we both have daughters named Audrey, and you and my wife have the same middle name, so obviously, we share excellent, impeccable taste.

WARD: Oh, my God! Exactly! I don’t know when your wife was born, but it seems like around the time I was born, it was a very popular name. It seemed like I had no less than five friends who have the middle name Marie, so it must’ve been the trendy name of the time.

FLICK ATTACK: However, I have not had a guest role on Party of Five. So that’s where the similarities end.

WARD: Yeah. You didn’t die of a drug overdose. Didn’t devirginize Bailey, no.

FLICK ATTACK: Speaking of IMDb, it says you speak Japanese. Confirm or deny?

WARD: True! I do!

FLICK ATTACK: Say something.

WARD: No, it’s gone!

FLICK ATTACK: Oh, come on.

WARD: こんにちは。おはようございます。私の名前は Megan。どのようにですか?あなたの名前は何ですか?

FLICK ATTACK: And what’s that mean?

WARD: “Hello. Good morning. My name is Megan. How are you? What’s your name?” I grew up in Hawaii and every school offered Japanese. I had started modeling at the age of 9, so it seemed like a practical thing for me to learn. I wasn’t 100 percent, but I could read and write it. I could get around! But that was a long time ago. When I got to sushi restaurants now, inevitably, by the end, I go, “I know what he said,” but it’s far back and covered with dust.

FLICK ATTACK: Onto Dark Skies, since that’s what we’re supposed to be talking about. At the time it aired, serialized shows weren’t exactly in vogue. But after the success of Lost and 24, do you think it would do better nowadays?

WARD: Oh, my God, yes! It was completely ahead of its time. Part of its tragedy is that it was compared to The X-Files in that people felt it was ripping off X-Files. And the only way it was similar is that it involved aliens and a male/female lead. Other than that, it was a very different show and very much like all the shows that have been on now. I don’t know what it’d do — you can’t make these predictions on what will hit — but it’s very of-the-now. It’s very subversive, it’s very complicated, it involves historical events. Imagine now, people could be Googling and going to Wikipedia during an episode. Historically, it was all accurate, and that’s what made the intrigue and the twist on the story cool, and the more you knew about that, the more interesting it would be. It would be very timely to do that now.

FLICK ATTACK: Which was scarier for you: the alien creatures or the period hairdos you had to wear?

WARD: Um, I don’t know. That’s a really good question! Or the Playtex bra, or the girdle. I have to say, I really like the period stuff, I really like becoming a character, but you’re very limited to the person who’s doing your hair, the way the director wants it, the way the studio wants it. It was a bit of a struggle about the size of it and the shape of it. Somedays, it was great, and other days, I couldn’t believe it got so big. I just wanted them to trim it down somehow, with CGI effects.

FLICK ATTACK: You’ve been acting for 20 years now. Going back to the beginning, out of the four films you did for Full Moon Pictures — and I’ve seen them all — did any of them buy you a tank of gas?

WARD: Exactly! Well, yeah, sure! Charlie Band gave me my first job, which was Crash and Burn. And I think I had done one or two guest spots right before that. It was a feature film and a three-picture contract, even though it was just paperwork — it didn’t guarantee anything. It felt like a much bigger deal than it probably ended up being professionally, when you look back on it: “Oh, yeah, these are straight to video.” But they were all distributed by Paramount and it was great. He had quite the machine going there. He took a shine to me and really believed in me and I owe a lot to him! He gave me a bunch of movies there I feel like I cut my teeth on. Even though it was a small production, I feel very fortunate that that’s where I got my start. It was real moviemaking.

megan ward nudeFLICK ATTACK: This isn’t much of a question, but did you know I watched Amityville 1992: It’s About Time just because you were in it?

WARD: No, but I’m really flattered!

FLICK ATTACK: And would you believe I’ve seen it three times now?

WARD: Noooo, you’re kidding!

FLICK ATTACK: No, I’m not.

WARD: Those movies are fun. Those movies are so fun. They’re genre movies: You kinda know what to expect, and it’s fun to take the ride. Even though it was a small movie, again, and there are bits that are silly, I suppose, but it’s a legacy, the Amityville series. “I’ve been in an Amityville film.” You know, that’s pretty cool, I think! I like that I can say that.

FLICK ATTACK: Is it strange that when a lot of people hear your name, they automatically picture you attached to Blossom‘s older brother?

WARD: I wish they did, because then they would’ve seen the movie! I nearly killed Michael Stoyanov on that movie, Freaked. First of all, he came from a sitcom, so he was used to this really easy work schedule. Such lazy work, let me tell you. So he was getting used to these long hours and crazy locations, and we’re strapped together the entire time. He quit smoking and was getting married as soon as the movie was done. So he was under so much pressure! I was going to be the death of him, I know. He was annoying, but he’ll admit to it. I loved him then and I love him now, but he could be a pain in the ass. There was a rule that we couldn’t be strapped together for more than 20 minutes at a time before a break.

FLICK ATTACK: Within a span of two years you worked with both Pauly Shore in Encino Man and Jeremy Piven in PCU. Did SAG’s health plan cover the therapy bills this had to have cost you?

WARD: You know, they were both really, really good to me. They were really sweet. It’s funny now to me how famous they become. Pauly was very kind. He never pulled any diva stunt with me, but we weren’t that close, either. Jeremy was so our team captain on that one. We were all kids — I mean, Jon Favreau was in it, David Spade was in it — and we were all crazy and on the loose in Toronto for two months. He was a good leader.

FLICK ATTACK: You were on General Hospital. Did your time there coincide with James Franco?

WARD: It’s funny, because my character actually introduces his character, but because I was working on something else, I couldn’t be in the scenes where he was supposed to show up.

FLICK ATTACK: You got robbed, basically.

WARD: Yeah, yeah.

FLICK ATTACK: And our 15 minutes are up.

WARD: Ohhh …

FLICK ATTACK: It was a pleasure to talk with you.

WARD: Yes! And thanks for watching Amityville! And thanks for knowing Freaked, too!

FLICK ATTACK: Well, I have to admit I’ve had a crush on you since the ’90s, so …

WARD: Aw, that’s very sweet! And now, look, we have a daughter, Audrey! —Rod Lott

Additional questions by Allan Mott.

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Telefon (1977)

The 1970s were ripe for great crime movies. Telefon may not be the pinnacle of the genre, but it’s good. It’s an unlikely vehicle for star Charles Bronson, as a KGB agent (but with no accent) trying to stop World War III by defeating rogue Russian Donald Pleasence, who’s using the telephone to dial up various Yankees who unknowingly have subliminal missions buried in their brains.

When Donald calls and recites a Robert Frost poem, it triggers them to enter a trance and embark on a suicide mission, whether that be taking out a military installation, an oil refinery or a phone company. It’s awfully repetitive, especially for a Don Siegel film, but its ‘70s tough-as-nails attitude cannot be denied.

Lee Remick, however beautiful, is clearly miscast as Bronson’s American agent who goes undercover with him (but thankfully, not under covers). If anything, Telefon serves as proof that Tyne Daly (here a CIA analyst) was ugly long before she got portly. —Rod Lott

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The Possessed (1977)

Admittedly, it’s tough to compete with crucifix masturbation, but the made-for-TV chiller The Possessed tries its — dare I say it? — damnedest to ride The Exorcist‘s demonic coattails to the tube. Ol’ Scratch shows up at an all-girls’ school, where the most dastardly thing going on is spraying whipped cream and spermicidal foam in someone’s bed as a prank.

It all begins when a piece of paper in a typewriter catches fire. AAAAAIIIIIEEEEE!!! Next, some curtains flare up. AAAAAIIIIIEEEEE!!! Then, a girl’s graduation gown spontaneously combusts. AAAAAIIIIIEEEEE!!!

Investigating these matters are former minister/current alcoholic James Farentino and aging cop Eugene Roche. Suspicion falls on the male biology teacher (a pre-fame Harrison Ford, basically creating the role he’d later do for E.T.) until he goes up in smoke, too. He kind of deserves it, because he’s boinking one of the students. Then again, she is the super-cute Ann Dusenberry. I’d hit that.

Anyhoo, the person Satan possesses spits nails and vomits weak cherry Kool-Aid at Farentino while the girls watch, all in a tidy yet tired 74 minutes. It looks not so much like a possessed entity and more like this one woman I know who’s a sister of a friend of mine. She ugly. Did this really scare anyone? Ever? —Rod Lott

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The Sorcerer’s Apprentice (2010)

From about the only part of Fantasia that isn’t a total snoozer comes The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, an overlong Walt Disney fantasy-adventure with special effects shooting out of every orifice. Nicolas Cage essays the role of the sorcerer half of the equation; Jay Baruchel, the apprentice.

Cage is Balthazar Blake, a thousands-year-old magician for the powers of good (yet he can’t do anything about his stringy, homeless-man hairdo), while Baruchel is Dave, a New York nerd who speaks so nasally, you’d think this was a 110-minute advertisement for Breathe Right strips. He’s also the chosen one to help Blake in the fight against bad, a magician named Whorebath. Correction: Horvath (Alfred Molina).

They’re all fighting for control of something called a “grimhole.” (Can you say that in a Disney film?) Distracting Dave are his hormones; his magic wand grows for his childhood crush, bland blonde Becky Barnes (Teresa Palmer). He impresses her by playing musical Tesla coils. When she’s coming over, he has to clean up the place lickety-split, allowing the film to re-create Mickey Mouse’s ill-fated, abracadabra approach to housekeeping, but only after a shot of a dog urinating.

Apprentice reunites Cage with his National Treasure franchise director Jon Turteltaub, and you’ll wish they had made a third one of those instead. Especially when they had the smarts to cast the fetching Monica Bellucci, yet give her maybe five minutes of screen time (all clothed, at that). The only magic in it is that it comes to an end. —Rod Lott

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Confession Stand with James Best

Although his Hollywood career now dates 60 years, James Best is best known for his role as Sheriff Rosco Coltrane on TV’s long-running The Dukes of Hazzard, a role he reprised for the animated spin-off, The Dukes, the complete collection of which is newly released as a made-on-demand DVD from Warner Archive.

FLICK ATTACK: Man, you’ve done a ton of stuff. Does it bother you that you’re primarily known for Dukes of Hazzard?

BEST: Actually, it’s a two-edged sword. Naturally, I spent a lot of time trying to prove to Hollywood and the world that I was a good actor. But I can go anywhere in the world and they all go, “KEW-KEW-KEW!” It’s good on one hand; on the other, Hollywood cannot see me or do not know that I did a lot of things before Rosco P. Coltrane.

FLICK ATTACK: In a way, though, you did Rosco so well that people couldn’t see past it. In other words, you’re that good of an actor.

BEST: It’s flattering on one hand, and on the other hand, I’m really disappointed that a lot of people didn’t know I had a career before that. That’s why I brought out my book, Best in Hollywood. I wrote my autobiography and you can buy it at my website, JamesBest.com. That book’s been selling very well.

FLICK ATTACK: Let me ask you about the new cartoon collection of The Dukes. Do you have memories of making this?

BEST: Yeah, of course we were shooting The Dukes of Hazzard at that time. They called up and said Hanna-Barbera — I love cartoons, and I had never done any work for cartoons. We went over to the animation studio —  it was very comfortable — and they just gave us scripts and we went into the regular characters as we did on the regular show. I think the cartoons were on for two years, then they took them off for some reason, but now they’re bringing them back, so now there’s a new generation of young people who will be introduced to The Dukes of Hazzard.

FLICK ATTACK: Do you think the animators made you as handsome as you are in real life?

BEST: Ha-ha! Well, when you get old, you get ugly. So don’t get old.

FLICK ATTACK: At least they made you better-looking than the dog and the raccoon.

BEST: Well, cartoons are always less than flattering, perhaps, but they did a pretty good job. I have only seen a couple of them myself, but they’re entertaining, and I’m grateful to be part of something that will be introduced to the younger generation, and they can watch without embarrassment and perhaps be introduced to the live-action version.

FLICK ATTACK: You worked with Samuel Fuller in Shock Corridor. Was he insane?

BEST: Sammy was a genius. Hollywood didn’t really realize that, but his stuff was so strong and so vibrant and so colorful. It wasn’t all smoke and mirrors like it is today. He put in actual stories that he had lived through. I loved working with him.

FLICK ATTACK: What about Jerry Lewis? There’s gotta be a story there.

BEST: Jerry Lewis? That man is a genius. He can absolutely do it all, and has. I never had as much as fun in my life as doing Three on a Couch with him and Janet Leigh. It’s just a ball to work with Jerry Lewis. He’s a total professional. He has great respect for all actors, whether they’re just doing one line or the lead. A lot of people love him or hate him, but the man has raked in a billion dollars for children, so he can’t be all bad. On the other hand, he’s less than what you’d expect at times. I told him once, “Jerry, you’re five different people and I hate three of ’em.” But I loved the other two.

FLICK ATTACK: Was it more fun working with Jimmy Stewart or Catherine Bach’s cutoff shorts?

BEST: Ha-ha! There was mixed emotion! Jimmy Stewart was my icon … and Cathy Bach was my desire. As was 25 million other people who watched the show. No, Cathy’s a sweetheart. We adore her. We were all family. She was more like a sister to all of us.

FLICK ATTACK: And you also worked with Peter Bogdanovich on Nickelodeon.

BEST: Yeah, I didn’t care for him too much, to be honest.

FLICK ATTACK: Was it because he wears ascots?

BEST: No, he ate before the cast did, on a silver tray, and rode up and down in front of everybody on his white horse. Napoleon, you know. As far as I’m concerned, he did one good movie. That Moon thing. Paper Moon. That was a brilliant piece of work.

FLICK ATTACK: And your paths have crossed before with Burt Reynolds.

BEST: Oh, yeah, I worked a lot with Burt.

FLICK ATTACK: Was it true you were an uncredited co-director on a couple of his films?

BEST: Yeah, what happened is I taught motion picture technique for 30 years. Burt sat in on my classes, so he knew I knew what to do with the cameras. I didn’t get credit for my part, but I also helped with rewrites on Gator and with Hooper. I should have gotten credit, I guess, but I was very grateful to work with Burt. I made a lot money with Burt.

FLICK ATTACK: Speaking of Hooper, I have this mental picture of Hal Needham directing with a bottle of beer in his hand. Is that correct at all?

BEST: Ha-ha! I never saw him do that. We’ve been friends for all these years. Hal was a wonderful stuntman. He jumped out of a Piper Cub without a parachute onto a guy on horseback. He said, “I gotta do it again. My mom wanted to see it and she wasn’t here.” His mama came to the set and he did it again!

FLICK ATTACK: That’s crazy.

BEST: He’s crazy!

FLICK ATTACK: Who was harder to work with: Flipper or Jan-Michael Vincent?

BEST: Jan-Michael Vincent. He ticked me off, to be honest with you.

FLICK ATTACK: Out of all you’ve done, what’s been your favorite project?

BEST: Well, working with Jimmy Stewart was a heavenly blessing. I’ve really enjoyed my career. The good Lord worked overtime for this ol’ country boy. I had so many wonderful times. You can read all about it my book, Best in Hollywood. You can get it at my website, JamesBest.com. And you can get that cartoon, too! I autographed the first 500 or something like that.

FLICK ATTACK: I’ll be sure to point that out.

BEST: That’d be great. —Rod Lott

Additional questions by Allan Mott.

Buy it at Warner Archive.