Having spent more than a decade in the realm of music promotion, I say with experience that receiving shitty, unsolicited albums is all part of the job. Rob Zombie’s The Lords of Salem gets that right. Where it veers from reality is that one such package — left at reception for late-night radio DJ Heidi LaRoc — triggers mass hallucinations upon listening. (Possible timely exception: One Direction.)

Letting the needle drop on the satanic-looking slab of vinyl from The Lords, the dreadfully dreadlocked LaRoc (Sheri Moon Zombie, 2004’s Toolbox Murders) is plagued by memories involving the sacrificial rituals of a coven of witches. Strange goings-on increase exponentially at her apartment building, where a supposedly unoccupied room down the hall is alight with unspeakable activity.

Even with all its intestines-pulling, blood-puking and full-frontal nudity, Salem marks a step up the maturity ladder for Mr. Zombie, who shows more restraint in the aggro department than any of his previous films, especially his pair of Halloween remakes. The trade-off is that it doesn’t radiate the pervading sense of menace that House of 1000 Corpses and its more intense sequel, The Devil’s Rejects, possessed in proverbial spades. Armed with a strong eye, Zombie makes up for it in visuals, particularly in the nightmare/flashback sequences; he’s really a terrific director and designer.

Although certainly confined to a limited range, Mrs. Zombie holds her own as the film’s anchor. She’s surrounded by many a horror vet — Ken Foree, Meg Foster, Dee Wallace, Michael Berryman among them — who actually contribute to the project, rather than rest on the stunt casting you see in so many lesser movies. By the same token, Bruce Davison (X-Men) invests in his role with as much sincerity as he does prestige pictures. Salem is more than artful enough to deserve that, even if we know Zombie can — and will — do better. —Rod Lott

Buy it at Amazon.

Since 1982’s Slumber Party Massacre worked so well for producer Roger Corman, he not only wrung sequels out of it, but commissioned Sorority House Massacre as well. It’s basically the same concept, only not as much fun; still, you’d slip it a roofie. It’s also basically just John Carpenter’s Halloween, if instead of babysitting, Laurie Strode joined the Greek system.

Considering pledging Theta Sigma Theta, the quiet, Peter Pan-haired Beth (Angela O’Neill, Vicious Lips) stays the weekend at the sorority house — the kind of only-in-the-movies sorority house that appears to have about four members, one of whom decorates her room with a giant Smurf piñata. Beth has no clue that she once lived there with her family, whose members big brother Bobby (John C. Russell) slayed years ago.

Coinciding with Beth’s weekend tryout — thanks to telepathy — Bobby escapes from the state mental hospital, as slasher villains are wont to do. Stealing weapons and a station wagon, he makes his way to Theta Sigma Theta. Meanwhile, an orderly tells the cops exactly whom to look out for: “I’d say he’s 6 foot, 190 pounds, blue eyes, real pale fucker.” Meanwhile, the girls demonstrate their sisterhood in a gratuitous clothes-trying-on montage scored to what sounds like a Mike Post reject.

First- and last-time director Carol Frank clearly paid attention while serving as an assistant for Slumber, because she took the Sorority gig seriously and plugged in all the slasher genre’s necessary elements: blood, boobs and … well, that’s about it. Although she tried, one need not be paying full attention to see how padded her movie’s mere 74 minutes are; let’s just say Beth has lots of slow-moving nightmares.

Speaking of padding, it’s more than a little disappointing that not a single female in Sorority House Massacre comes close to approaching the sex appeal of its poster model, Suzee Slater (Savage Streets). Theta Sigma Theta must be that one house on campus with a stellar GPA. —Rod Lott

Buy it at Amazon.