Sick of being sexually harassed by the boss, cat-food factory worker Karen Walker (Claudia Jennings, Gator Bait) impulsively quits and parlays her hot temper and hot bod into a career as a professional roller-derby skater. Despite never having played the sport before, she proves a natural. Despite proving a natural, she provokes jealousy as she zooms right past her fellow orange-jerseyed Avengers, literally and figuratively.
The Unholy Rollers is an odd-duck mix of the sports drama and producer Roger Corman’s hick-underdog comedies. Scripted by Corman regular Howard R. Cohen (Saturday the 14th), it asks us to believe that Karen could not only become a citywide star, but make “lots of money,” which she drops on new furniture, family and friends, and a car with a zebra-print hardtop. Yet we kind of believe it because director Vernon Zimmerman (Fade to Black) trusts viewers will topple head over heels for Jennings. She possesses such an all-American beauty and confidence, it’s difficult not to, even while taking note of the third-rate arena.
As depicted in this flick, roller derby is pro wrestling on wheels, complete with costumed heroes and villains, all of whom clutch cans of Coors as if water had yet to be invented. The skating sequences bring a real snap to the two-bit proceedings, and it is here that first-time editor Martin Scorsese demonstrates a touch of the genius to come.
Don’t mistake The Unholy Rollers for genius. Narratively, it’s a mess, braking for joke-tellling sessions that remind one of the opening spreads of Mad magazine’s movie parodies. The story threads abruptly culminate in a strange, downbeat ending of self-destruction that, like any of Karen’s brutish teammates, comes from nowhere to knock you out. It’s an easy watch, however, and it becomes clear that the film has more on its mind than exploitative elements; it checks through those as quick as it can in order to settle into a parable about the price of fame. —Rod Lott
Baby-faced Alex Gardner (Dennis Quaid, 
With HazMat, writer/director/producer Lou Simon not only proves that women can make slasher films, too, but also that they can be as terrible as men’s. 
Pretty quickly after entering, Jacob cannot separate reality from stupid prank shows and snaps. He then … well, let’s let one of the more annoying characters tell us via her unbelievably calm phone call for help: “There is a crazy man with an ax. He’s already killed two people and he’s coming after us.”
