All posts by Rod Lott

Reading Material: Short Ends 7/8/19

In a summer that has seen several sequels tank, at least one doesn’t disappoint: Make My Day: Movie Culture in the Age of Reagan, preeminent film critic J. Hoberman’s trilogy-capper. As An Army of Phantoms and The Dream Life considered American cinema in the Cold War and the 1960s, respectively, Make My Day looks to the late 1970s and the whole of the 1980s; as in those works, also from The New Press, American cinema is also considered through the lens of the era’s politics, and how one informed or reflected the other. With Ronald Reagan as movie star-cum-POTUS, Hoberman certainly has a wealth of material to parse, most notably in the “warnography” of Rambo: First Blood Part II, Top Gun, Iron Eagle and, to a lesser degree, WarGames. It’s not all jets and jocks, either, with everything from the narrative quilt of Nashville to the science-fried comedy of Ghostbusters and basically everything Steven Spielberg Midas-touched. The tour is fascinating, politically charged (yet fact-based) and even thrilling. An overuse of the prefix “crypto-” and a couple of names getting botched (as Jon Voigt, Gary Marshall and Christian Glover) do nothing to diminish its excellence.

Serious question: Does Roberto Curti ever sleep? The Italian film historian has been averaging two research-heavy books a year, with his latest being Italian Gothic Horror Films, 1980-1989. Those already familiar with Curti will know this is the third in the IGHF series, which began in 2015 (1957-1969) and continued in 2017 (1970-1979), all published by McFarland & Company. The VHS-weaned generation may have been waiting on this one all along, given that the video-store era coincided with the gore-heavy auteurist period of Dario Argento, Lucio Fulci, Lamberto Bava and others, who made some of their best work in this fertile period. Again going chronologically, Curti examines each notable title, with critical and historical appreciations that can run for multiple pages, if merited (the above men among those). If there’s a fly in this soup, it’s that Curti refers to films primarily by their Italian titles, which can get tricky if you’re not paying attention, assuming you’re also not bilingual. Molto bene!

Portable Press’ Strange Hollywood is not unlike an entry in the assumedly immortal Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader series: a chunky little book to absorb a page or two at a time, most likely during dumps, with contents only slightly less temporary. Thus, lists make up much of the 400-plus pages, from movie stars’ final roles and original titles of hit pictures to fun facts about The Muppets and memorable quips from TV’s Hollywood Squares. Occasionally, there’s even an anecdote worth your time, such as why Tommy Lee Jones couldn’t stand working with Jim Carrey on Batman Forever, resulting in the former telling the latter, “I cannot sanction your buffoonery.” All in all, the book is a novelty that might work as a stocking stuffer. —Rod Lott

Get them at Amazon.

Startup.com (2001)

On one internet company’s rapid rise and speedier fall, the documentary Startup.com would be more fun if its subjects didn’t come off as such egotistical assholes.

Friends since their high school days, Tom Herman and Kaleil Isaza Tuzman decide to chase fortune by staking their claim in the lawlessness of the World Wide Web with a site called govWorks.com, a public-to-government facilitator — in other words, you could pay your parking tickets online. As many did in the dot-com boom, Herman and Tuzman start believing this idea will reap millions upon millions.

We watch their heads balloon as their head count balloons from under a dozen employees to more than 200, thanks to venture capital, all before even having a legitimate product. When their site finally goes live, mishaps not only follow, but march in time; their Gordon Gekko-level greed so clouds their judgment, they fail to recognize their massive shortcomings, not the least of which is not having a fucking clue what they’re doing. It’s rather amazing they allowed co-directors Chris Hegedus (The War Room) and Jehane Noujaim (Control Room) to let cameras capture their abhorrent, self-fellating behavior.

After witnessing this pair of douchey hotheads do douchey hothead things — like Tuzman irreparably damaging their friendship by firing Herman via form letter — their downfall is the icing on Startup.com’s cake. To be honest, as engaging as the film is, I wanted to see even more failure, as we are told karma dictates. Real life eventually (read: in 2017) gave us what the movie could not, with Tuzman found guilty in federal court for schemes of widespread financial fraud. —Rod Lott

Get it at Amazon.

The Golden Age of Disaster Cinema: A Guide to the Films, 1950-1979

With Glenn Kay and Michael Rose’s wonderful Disaster Movies: The Ultimate Guide long out of print, the field has been open for a title to swoop in as a no-brainer purchase for those interested in navigating the oft-campy subgenre. I’m afraid Nik Havert’s bid, however, isn’t it.

As hinted by the title, The Golden Age of Disaster Cinema: A Guide to the Films, 1950-1979, his definition of the subject is perhaps too malleable, stretched to include alien invasions produced by George Pal and ecological-revenge fantasies, rather than sticking to the perils of Irwin Allen and others who either influenced or Xeroxed the projects of his reign.

Year by year, movie by movie, Havert ticks through offerings from screens big and small, but other than the occasional emailed remembrance by someone who worked on the film, his articles follow an unfortunate formula: brief remarks of innocuous criticism preceded by several paragraphs of beat-by-beat story synopsis, each maddeningly ending with a same-Bat-time/same-Bat-channel question as repetitive as it is needless. For example:
• “Will any of them make it out alive?” (Airport ’77)
• “Can any of them escape, and will the infection spread if they do?” (The Crazies)
• “Who will survive the wall of water rushing for Brownsville, and will the town ever be the same?” (Flood)
• “Will they make it, and will anyone else survive the aftermath?” (Avalanche)
• “Will either shelter be strong enough to hold off the attacks, and what awaits the survivors further down the mountain if they make it through the night?” (Day of the Animals)

While Havert is obviously passionate about disaster cinema, he is unable to convey that in a way that engages the reader, and calls too many films “lost” that are not (like This Is a Hijack). On the plus side, the McFarland & Company paperback is thorough, packed with obscurities — where else will one learn of Flug in Gefhar? —Rod Lott

Get it at Amazon.

The Flying Guillotine (1975)

Considered a seminal martial arts film more for concept than execution, The Flying Guillotine is about your basic greedy Asian dictator who delights in his staff’s development of a new weapon for his armies. This unusual device looks like a basket affixed to a chain, but when thrown onto the head of your enemy and yanked back, blades within the basket pop out to chop off the unfortunate wearer’s head! Every movie could use one.

This is first demonstrated on a dog, much to the evil guy’s delight. It’s sick, yeah, but it should be even sicker. The movie often cuts away so you rarely see any decapitations. I wanted to see twitching headless bodies running loco for several seconds, like Anne Ramsey in Wes Craven’s Deadly Friend, right after she gets beaned with a basketball.

But I’ll give the Shaw Brothers and director Meng Hua Ho (The Oily Maniac) points for even pursuing something this demented in the first place, even if they weigh down the second half with needless chitchat. For an infinitely more entertaining flick, Jimmy Wang Yu’s Master of the Flying Guillotine from 1976 is, um, heads above. —Rod Lott

Get it at Amazon.

Science Crazed (1991)

While the story of Frankenstein has spawned hundreds of feature films, only one is so dreadful to inspire a retroactive hatred of Mary Shelley: Science Crazed. Shot on 16mm in Toronto, it appears to be the only credit that has surfaced for its director, writer, producer and editor, Ron Switzer.

Pray that sentence never requires updating.

Despite promising to rock the world of biological science, Dr. Frank gets booted from the board of the Shelley Institute — a supposedly prestigious organization, yet its exterior screams “Section 8 apartment complex.” Undeterred and still wearing his Jack Nicholson sunglasses, the doctor continues his research — namely, the brunette he has tied to a lawn chair. Prepping a syringe of green fluid, he tells her, “In exactly three hours, you will be pregnant,” followed in 21 hours by birth to a baby boy. Sure as shit, she is and does. She also dies during delivery, and while Frank hardly is the type to adhere to the Hippocratic oath, you’d think he would’ve led with that.

After being zapped with (one presumes) electricity, the newborn grows at a phenomenally accelerated rate into what the credits refer to as “the Fiend” (Tony Della Ventura), a young man with pointy ears, a gimp left foot, a head wrapped in gauze, a torso in a bloody undershirt that exposes one nip, zero speech skills and, as if to mitigate all of the above, quite the set of biceps. Perhaps not believing the muscles to be mitigating enough, the Fiend kills his creator.

Dr. Frank’s assistants (Cameron Klein and Robin Hartsell) call the police … well, kind of. They ring up the local video store and ask for Inspector McCoy (Michael Sommers), a trenchcoat-and-fedora crimefighter who’s chewing Twizzlers as he stares at the VHS box for Rambo: First Blood Part II. Why he takes phone calls there is unexplained, yet makes more sense than much of what follows.

I would say that the remainder of Science Crazed finds the Fiend killing innocent victims; however, it’s more true to say the movie finds us waiting for the Fiend to find innocent victims to kill. Roaring like the MGM lion breathing directly into a tape recorder’s built-in mic, the Fiend slowly shuffles his way down the same hallway over and over and — yep! — over. Meanwhile, in a method of anti-editing, Switzer cuts to lengthy scenes of various unawares going about their business; most notoriously, two ladies exercise and exercise and — yep! — exercise, for more than 10 minutes. To call it “excruciating” is too kind by half.

One such sequence elicits accidental howls, as a woman (scientist? politician? evil incarnate?) writes on notebook paper while we hear her thoughts: “I suggest nerve gas tests be conducted in the following countries: France … Canada … United States … Italy … Japan … South Korea … Taiwan … Germany … Spain … England … Mexico … Australia … Colombia … Holland … Norway …” Now, while those words number a mere 28, Switzer’s balls of low-grade steel elongate the ellipses between them so that it takes the actress three minutes to complete her line, before half-assedly raising her hands as if to shield her face when she notices the Fiend filling up her office door frame.

Without meaning to, Switzer embodies a rule all burgeoning filmmakers should heed: Just because you shoot a ton of coverage doesn’t mean you have to use all of it. Comparing waste to want, Science Crazed runs at a 9-1 ratio — quite a pitiful showing for all of Canada … United States … Italy … —Rod Lott

Get it at Amazon.