All posts by Rod Lott

Apartment 413 (2019)

Not to be confused with the found-footage spooker Apartment 143 — dyslexia excepted — Apartment 413 is almost entirely a two-hander in one location. Yes, of course it’s the unit of the title: a depressing-looking place in a depressing-looking complex in Austin, with a fitting “FML” carved into the window AC unit’s exterior side.

Community college dropout Marco Reyes (Nicholas Saenz, Mr. Roosevelt) needs a job. And fast, because his girlfriend, Dana (Brea Grant, All the Creatures Were Stirring), is about-to-pop pregnant. He’s not having much luck, considering his alarm mysteriously fails to wake him as set, thus causing missed interviews.

As he sits in his apartment all day applying for jobs — and playing video games — stranger things begin happening: Trash re-appears; an unknown text message suggests it’s “not your baby”; and Post-it Notes pop up like magic, scrawled with threats like “THIS IS A WARNING.”

Things escalate from there. Stress? Black mold? Psychotic break? Residual haunting from the site’s domestic murder two years prior?

You’ll find out, although the ending is more confounding than disturbing. As the first film for both director Matt Patterson and writer Ron Maede, Apartment 413 likely serves as a calling card for bigger and better things, rather than a Texas-sized reworking of Roman Polanski’s Repulsion through a millennial-hipster lens. At just under 80 minutes, credits included, not enough happens to do lasting damage, yet so much solitary time with an increasingly unlikable guy is a lot to ask of the audience; as a short, it would be three times more effective. —Rod Lott

Get it at Amazon.

Royal Jelly (2021)

Pay semi-close attention, class, to bee-obsessed Aster’s speech toward the start of Royal Jelly. The lead character’s presentation on the honeybee — particularly its strict caste system and post-coital genital ripping — isn’t just there for filler, no matter how bored the high schooler’s classmates look. Writer/director Sean Riley (Fighting Belle) practically highlights and underlines where his sophomore film will go from here — unfortunately not as quickly as you will like. (For a teen-transformation movie that properly uses horror as a metaphor for puberty, you want Ginger Snaps.)

Played by relative newcomer Elizabeth McCoy with appropriately paste-white skin, the Carrie-level outcast is stuck in a stereotypical Cinderella household, where her evil stepmother (Fiona McQuinn, Hallowed Be They Name) takes all the noodles and her snooty half-sister (debuting Raylen Ladner) makes her scrub menstrual blood from the bedsheets.

Weirdo substitute teacher Tressa (Sherry Lattanzi) shows an unhealthy interest in her; Aster gladly soaks up the attention, despite the elder’s habit for wearing sunglasses indoors. Tressa takes the misunderstood misfit to egg the houses of the mean girls, who respond in kind by busting Aster’s beehive. That’s not a euphemism; she literally tends to one in her yard.

That said, Royal Jelly is no modern-day version of The Wasp Woman, nor another update of The Fly. After the setup, when Aster flees to Tressa’s farm and meets her son (Lucas T. Matchett), it becomes a turgid, soap-bubble drama made all the rougher by performances both amateurish and at tonal odds with one another. Lattanzi embraces the camp, whether she realizes it or not, while her young charges play scenes as if Twilight leapt to a series on The CW. This marks the first feature credit for many of its cast members.

Normally, I don’t reveal details about a film’s ending, but I must here: Aster sprouts wings, like the kind little girls wear around the playroom. I had to laugh — certainly the reaction Riley neither intended nor wanted. —Rod Lott

Get it at Amazon.

Small Engine Repair (2021)

Months from now, and even years from now, someone is going to ask if you’ve seen Small Engine Repair. I believe this because it’s exactly the kind of unassuming little film that takes time to find its audience — living through word of mouth, one conversation at a time. So why not just see it right now?

Written and directed by John Pollono, adapting his own 2011 award-winning play of the same name, the movie centers on one family — both biological and unofficial — in working-class Manchester, New Hampshire. Ex-con single-dad mechanic Frank (Pollono) is struggling with his only child, Crystal (Ciara Bravo, 2021’s Cherry), leaving home for UCLA. A tomboy writ large, she essentially has been raised by three dads, although not always simultaneously: Frank and his two lifelong best friends, macho Terry (Jon Bernthal, Sicario) and meek Packie (the ever-reliable Shea Whigham, Joker). Amid this flanneled trifecta of testosterone, it’s fun to watch Bravo so at ease, giving as good as she gets.

One night, the men’s iron-tight bond snaps. Months later, Frank reaches out to Terry and Packie, seemingly to make amends, but he has an ulterior motive: He needs a favor — for which he can trust no one else. Small Engine Repair is best appreciated if you go in with no more context than Frank gives his friends.

The second half of Small Engine Repair works as well as it does because Pollono invests so much time up front getting you invested in his characters. Relevant details of their complicated relationship and shared history, which have a way of helping determine their collective future, are skillfully peppered in versus dumped in lazy exposition. Only in first painting a realistic blue-collar portrait is Pollono able to throw the narrative into a new direction that threatens your blood pressure and keeps you along for the ride.

For Pollono (screenwriter of David Gordon Green’s Boston Marathon bombing drama, Stronger), this marks an exceptionally strong directorial debut. Obviously the man knows his own material inside and out, down to each and every well-placed “fuckin’,” and that confidence results in a work that continues to resonate with me weeks later. Like the William Friedkin/Tracy Letts collaborations Bug and Killer Joe, it proves that plays with turns of the perverse and felonious stand the best chance of generating sparks onscreen. —Rod Lott

Death Screams (1982)

Hey, everybody! The carnival’s in town! The carnival’s in town! And Death Screams takes place in the supposedly idyllic American small town where that kind of thing is Earth-Shattering News. Shot in North Carolina, it’s the rare slasher with no discernible lead and in which the killer has no discernible gimmick. To complete a hat trick of sorts, it’s also the only slice-and-dicer to be directed by a member of the Ozzie and Harriet Nelson family, early sitcom titans. While brother Rick zigged his way into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, David clearly zagged.

This hicksploitation horror’s biggest crime is being instantly forgettable. More screen time is given to quilt-selling than story setup. Had Nelson given any character half as many traits as the number of times someone mentions having to work tomorrow (three), we might relate to one of them. As is, they’re as fleshed-out as the fair’s “Junk Shop” booth, which literally has just a toaster. Having more presence than the appliance are H.O.T.S. honey Susan Kiger, who’s inappropriately wooed by the coach (Martin Tucker, Rockin’ Road Trip), and Jennifer Chase (1983’s Balboa) as the one ride that doesn’t leave town when the carnival does.

Amid all the toothpick activity of the sheriff (Earl Owensby Studios regular William T. Hicks, A Day of Judgment) and talk of mince pies are recurring cutaways to two teenagers floating the river like bobbed apples: the ones who were offed in the prologue for having hormones. By the time all the young people ditch the bonfire for an ill-advised trip to the graveyard, a guy named Diddle (John Kohler, Ownensby’s Dogs of Hell) excuses himself to “make heh-heh,” which is a first for my ears.

Aimless and ambling, Death Screams may not be painful, but it’s heh-heh all the same. —Rod Lott

Get it at Amazon.

Scanner Cop II (1995)

Like its 1994 predecessor, Scanner Cop II makes its audience wait until near the end before getting around to exploding a head. While the sequel isn’t as enjoyable as regular ol’ Scanner Cop, it is chockablock in throbbing foreheads and popped veins.

Very much like a TV episode, Scanner Cop II needs not bother re-introducing hero cop/scanner Sam Staziak (Daniel Quinn, Wild at Heart), not even to remark on his mullet, acquired between then and now. This time, he’s romancing the redhead (Khrystyne Haje, 1987’s Bates Motel) who runs the clinic that dispenses the scanners’ version of methadone, but this subplot just gets in the way of Sam having it out with an evil scanner named Volkin (Patrick Kilpatrick, The Toxic Avenger).

In addition to tossing objects about, scanners now can create elaborate illusions that would guarantee a smash Vegas residency. But dueling orgasm faces maketh the movie, which director Steve Barnett (Mindwarp) seems to understand in spades, because not for nothing is the pic also known as Scanners: The Showdown.

Sam and Volkin’s final battle is such a master class in clenched jaws and gritted teeth that both men look like they’re on the verge of either a self-induced aneurysm or the evacuation of an entire El Charrito Grande Saltillo Enchilada Dinner in one violent grunt. I won’t give away whom, but one of them paints the back wall with the contents of his head, while the other quips, “He won’t be available for questioning.” (It’s probably easier to guess which one screams, “I’m waiting for you, scanner cop!”)

Believe it or not, this isn’t even Scanner Cop II’s standout special effect! Thirty minutes in, a man basically sizzles and liquifies before our eyes as Volkin scans the power right out of the poor bastard. Barnett repeats this parlor trick several times, including — but not limited to — a joint his-and-her demise. The budget for rubber cement must have been insane; one hopes David Cronenberg’s check were even more. —Rod Lott

Get it at Amazon.