Around the World in 80 Days (2004)

June 14, 2012 Rod Lott 1 Comment

Too bad it bombed, because Around the World in 80 Days, an adaptation of Jules Verne’s classic novel, is one of the most purely enjoyable American vehicles for Jackie Chan. On the run after stealing his village’s one-of-a-kind jade Buddha from the Bank of London, Chan’s Passepartout finds a convenient hiding place as a valet to eccentric inventor Phileas Fogg (Steve Coogan, Tropic Thunder). When Fogg accepts a career-on-the-line bet to traverse the globe in 80 days, Passepartout sees the trip as a great way to evade authorities.

No matter where they go, they’re pursued by policemen, not to mention the occasional ninja. Picking up a French painter for whom Fogg has an eye (the cute but annoying Cécile De France, Hereafter), the pair finds adventure going country to country, continent to continent, whether by air, land or sea. Said adventures include meeting an egotistical Turkish prince (Arnold Schwarzenegger) who’s on the prowl for a seventh wife, running into the Wright Brothers (an ad-libbing Owen and Luke Wilson) in the middle of the desert and rightfully returning the Buddha to his Chinese village, only to find themselves in the middle of a martial-arts battle, with Sammo Hung as the legendary fighter Wong Fei Hung.

The way the movie plays with various genres, locales and historical characters is undeniably fun, but it’s elevated to another level entirely by Chan’s set pieces. The aforementioned fight that has him squaring off alongside pal Hung is a highlight, as is when he attempts to board a hot air balloon by hanging on to a rope, encountering numerous obstacles in the process, just ripe for his brand of physical comedy.

Usually family films are seemingly made for only one half of the family: the young one. But 80 Days can be enjoyed by all ages without insulting the older half. Oh, sure, there are obvious slapstick bits to guarantee laughs from the kids, but many of them are carried off with enough skill and comic timing that it was hard to resist them myself. It is an old-fashioned epic adventure that remains true to Verne’s light style while also making for a great and appropriate showcase for the inimitable Chan. My only problem: Where are his trademark end-credit outtakes? —Rod Lott

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Thriller

Diabolique (1955)

June 13, 2012 Rod Lott 2 Comments

Little work is needed by director Henri-Georges Clouzot to make you despise the antagonist of Diabolique with the proverbial fury of a thousand suns. The classic French thriller begins with talk of boarding school principal Michel Delassalle (Paul Meurisse) physically abusing his current sex toy, Nicole (Simone Signoret), who’s comforted by fellow teacher Christina (Véra Clouzot), who’s married to that son of a bitch.

Yes, Michel lives where he works where he fucks, openly, with wife and mistress knowing about the other, yet remaining as friends. It’s tough to be jealous when the man you share is a complete and utter prick — to you, to his employees, to his students. No wonder Christina wants to divorce; Nicole gives her the confidence to ask for one, but that’s merely a ruse for their plot to murder him.

It happens soon in the two-hour film — drugging and then drowning him in the tub — leaving the two ladies — and their audience — roughly 90 minutes to sweat it out as guilt mounts when the corpse vanishes. Threading the suspense in a methodical, drawn-out fashion of which Alfred Hitchcock was a master, Monsieur Clouzot (The Wages of Fear) eventually crafts a quilt of questions we can’t wait to see answered, just as we couldn’t wait to see Michel murdered.

With the devilishly delicious Diabolique‘s stellar rep, its big reveal scene may be known to many who’ve never seen it. That included me, and yet, I still couldn’t figure everything out before Clouzot chose to show us. Yes, its two hours run a little slow in patches, and the husband so hateful that he may as well have a swastika armband, but the overall story works so well, its continuing influence on so many other movies is simply undeniable. —Rod Lott

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Horror

The Woman in Black (2012)

June 12, 2012 Rod Lott Leave a comment

Among the handful of movies released by the late-aughts-resurrected Hammer Films, The Woman in Black is the one that feels most like the old-school Hammer that film fans the world over hold near and dear to their hearts. (Let Me In, however, remains the best.) It’s low-key and Gothic, and relies little on special effects to get viewers scared.

Based upon a slim novel by Susan Hill that already earned an adaptation by British television in 1989, this new Woman has the fortunate status of having a leading man in Daniel Radcliffe, in his first post-Harry Potter role. You’ll quickly forget he was a boy wizard; here, he’s a lawyer and father of one little boy, and still grieving over the death of his wife during childbirth — so much so that he’s more than a tad suicidal.

His employer sends him to one of those out-of-the-way villages where everybody knows about — but dare not go there, much less speak of — the mansion known as Eel Marsh House. His duty is to sort through the paperwork of its newly deceased owner so her will can be settled, but he spends more time investigating the expansive home’s strange noises and the fleeting appearance of the title character, whose visage fleets about his peripheral vision.

But not ours. Although used sparingly by director James Watkins (Eden Lake), the ghost gets right up in our faces to provide effective jolts in line with the recent Insidious, which also preferred practical effects over the all-too-easy (and all-too-artificial) computer-generated ones. That the specter at this film’s center has a rep for sending children to their death raises the stakes in an already eerie tale. Atmosphere abounds, expressing a visual chill to match the physical one moving up your spine. —Rod Lott

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Mystery

The Pyjama Girl Case (1977)

June 11, 2012 Rod Lott Leave a comment

Ladies and gentlemen, introducing Academy Award winner Ray Milland in one of his final features … giving the universal hand gesture for masturbation. Based loosely on a 1934 true crime in Australia, the Italian-made The Pyjama Girl Case is a methodical mystery cast in a quasi-giallo style by director/co-writer Flavio Mogherini, who puts his art and production design experience to fine use.

On the beach, a woman’s body is found charred, violated, shot and with her head bashed in. The uncharacteristic brutality of the case prompts retired inspector Thompson (Milland, Dial M for Murder) to come out of retirement on a volunteer basis to help local police sort this puzzler out.

Meanwhile, we meet Linda (the striking Dalila Di Lazzaro, Phenomena), whose sexual partners always hide her panties, and believe me, she has many — partners, that is. Despite being married, she’s still sleeping with past lovers, who include a physician sugar daddy and a lovely woman with a pair of yellow PJs.

Linda’s several conquests are poorly introduced, but not in a way that clouds the narrative. Besides, like a skilled police procedural should, the focus is on Milland, pursuing leads such as grains of white rice. Mogherini pulls off a near-masterful turn in the final third, but even if you see it coming, you’re bound to genuinely be disturbed by the public gawking at the body on display, and even more at Linda throwing all reason away in a moment of self-destruction. —Rod Lott

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Comedy

Hillbillys in a Haunted House (1967)

June 8, 2012 Rod Lott Leave a comment

I hate to spoil it for you, but in Hillbillys in a Haunted House, some hillbillies visit a haunted house. Reprising their role from 1966’s Las Vegas Hillbillys are actual country singer Ferlin Husky and Don Bowman as, respectively, fake country singer Woody Wetherby and Jeepers, his manager. Jeepers is aptly named because he’s a coward. Traveling with them is another singer, Boots, who’s one consonant away from being aptly named, because she’s played by 38.5-23-35 Scopitone siren Joi Lansing.

On their way to Nashville for a jamboree — whatever the hell that is — the three experience car trouble. With a storm coming, a local recommends they take shelter for the night in an empty mansion, but forgets to inform them that it’s haunted. They see a skeleton, a gorilla and bats that Jeepers suspects can’t all be him “imaginatin’,” and he’s right: It’s the work of a spy ring in the basement trying to scare them off.

As padded as Lansing’s front is, the film is padded even more, with musical numbers; the last 15 minutes are literally a concert! Good thing most of the songs are good. See if “The Cat Came Back” doesn’t stick in your noggin. See if Merle Haggard’s two appearances doesn’t make you wish the genre never changed from there. See if Lansing’s ode to gowns while she’s imagining herself decked out in Southern belle regalia doesn’t make you stand at attention.

The sexy, super-stacked Lansing is the main reason to watch cornpone comedy. The second may be the novelty of seeing horror icons John Carradine, Basil Rathbone and Lon Chaney Jr. as members of the baddies in the basement, which is decked out with various torture devices. For some, Hillbillys in a Haunted House is torture on its own, but for me, it’s too good-natured to provide any pain. —Rod Lott

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