Horror

Sorority House Massacre (1986)

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sororityhouseSince 1982’s Slumber Party Massacre worked so well for producer Roger Corman, he not only wrung sequels out of it, but commissioned Sorority House Massacre as well. It’s basically the same concept, only not as much fun; still, you’d slip it a roofie. It’s also basically just John Carpenter’s Halloween, if instead of babysitting, Laurie Strode joined the Greek system.

Considering pledging Theta Sigma Theta, the quiet, Peter Pan-haired Beth (Angela O’Neill, Vicious Lips) stays the weekend at the sorority house — the kind of only-in-the-movies sorority house that appears to have about four members, one of whom decorates her room with a giant Smurf piñata. Beth has no clue that she once lived there with her family, whose members big brother Bobby (John C. Russell) slayed years ago.

sororityhouse1Coinciding with Beth’s weekend tryout — thanks to telepathy — Bobby escapes from the state mental hospital, as slasher villains are wont to do. Stealing weapons and a station wagon, he makes his way to Theta Sigma Theta. Meanwhile, an orderly tells the cops exactly whom to look out for: “I’d say he’s 6 foot, 190 pounds, blue eyes, real pale fucker.” Meanwhile, the girls demonstrate their sisterhood in a gratuitous clothes-trying-on montage scored to what sounds like a Mike Post reject.

First- and last-time director Carol Frank clearly paid attention while serving as an assistant for Slumber, because she took the Sorority gig seriously and plugged in all the slasher genre’s necessary elements: blood, boobs and … well, that’s about it. Although she tried, one need not be paying full attention to see how padded her movie’s mere 74 minutes are; let’s just say Beth has lots of slow-moving nightmares.

Speaking of padding, it’s more than a little disappointing that not a single female in Sorority House Massacre comes close to approaching the sex appeal of its poster model, Suzee Slater (Savage Streets). Theta Sigma Theta must be that one house on campus with a stellar GPA. —Rod Lott

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Comedy

Detention (2011)

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detentionDonnie Darko, The Breakfast Club, Scream, Back to the Future, Freaky Friday, Heathers, Christine, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (I think), She’s All That (probably), The Fly (?!?) — it’s probably easier to name the movies not referenced by Detention.

Luckily, this ain’t a parody à la the Seltzer/Friedberg “Insert Word Here” Movie production line of films which rank among humanity’s most awful crimes. Detention, rather, is barmy genius, an aggressive meta-mash of preposterous proportions that actually manages through vigor, intelligence and breakneck lunacy to be one of the most original teen movies of recent years. Think John Hughes via Crank, or an evil twin of Scott Pilgrim vs. the World.

Detention1You’ll likely require a master’s in film studies to catch every pop-culture reference hurled at the audience at lightning speed. This is a Twitter generation film, tailor-made for an ADHD-esque attention span, so there are no pauses for reflection, only forward momentum that could grow tiresome for some (or trigger epileptic seizures from the frenetic editing), but which I found a blast and three-quarters.

Plotwise, none of it makes much sense. There’s a Bueller-style character (Josh Hutcherson, The Hunger Games), a beautiful wallflower klutz (Shanley Caswell, The Conjuring), a spaz, a hottie, a football star devolving into a mutant flyboy, a student who has been in detention for decades and a principal who both out-evils Breakfast Club’s Paul Gleason and proves that “comedian” Dane Cook plays an unlikable douchebag far more effectively than he does likable ones. There’s also body-switching, time travel, psychotic killers … it’s almost all films ever made in one gloriously messy craze-rave of awesome.

I cannot say all will love it; if you aren’t at least somewhat versed in the language of the genre, you’ll find it well-nigh incomprehensible. If you get it, however, you’ll see the movie beneath the artifice, and the love behind the camera. To put it weirdly, the cynicism on display is infused with a remarkable lack of cynicism. If you can parse the paradox within that Möbius sentence, you’re the right audience for this. —Corey Redekop

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Sci-Fi & Fantasy

Daimajin (1966)

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daimajinKnown to Americans under its dubbed title of Majin, the Monster of Terror, the Japanese fantasy Daimajin doesn’t really kick in until after the first 30 minutes, when the requisite precocious youth with bad hair is attacked in the forest by skeleton hands and superimposed bedsheets standing in for ghosts.

But that’s nothing compared to the havoc wreaked by the giant mountain god Daimajin. For the first half of the movie, Daimajin is simply a statue to be worshipped. But when angry villagers start hammering away at his head and cause it to bleed, well, who can blame Daimajin for opening up the ground so he can spit fire and swallow fat guys whole?

daimajin1What heretofore was a blank face as threatening as Holly Hobbie is replaced with a blue-green demonic kabuki glare with one wave of Daimajin’s stone arm. The big guy frees himself from his mountain home and goes to town to — in the finest tradition of Far Eastern genre cinema — smash some shit up.

The balsa wood flies as Daimajin destroys houses and randomly stops to impale citizens. At the end, he turns to dust, thus ending the carnage, but quite clearly driving home the moral of the story: Don’t stick steel spikes into the foreheads of a statue in the mountains unless you want it to come alive and fuck up your village. Got it? No one did, because two sequels immediately followed. —Rod Lott

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Thriller

The Perfume of the Lady in Black (1974)

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perfumeladyWith the complexion of tapioca pudding and a hairstyle eventually made famous by Princess Di, Silvia Hacherman (Mimsy Farmer, Four Flies on Grey Velvet) is married to her work in a science lab. Her cad of a boyfriend, Roberto (Maurizio Bonuglia, Foxtrap), wishes she would be less serious and play more tennis. He just doesn’t understand Silvia has a lot on her mind, not the least of which is The Perfume of the Lady in Black.

While at Roberto’s pad, Silvia first glimpses the image in a mirror: her late mother spraying the smell-good. As writer/director Francesco Barilli’s first feature progresses, and our heroine hallucinates, we slowly piece together the acts of awfulness that befell her mom when Silvia was a child — acts that may extend to Silvia herself.

perfumelady1They aren’t pleasant; revisiting them unhinges Silvia, sending her into a spiral of madness and regression. As this happens, Barilli gives his film a Rosemary’s Baby vibe, made all the more distinct by its apartment-building setting and the strange tenants who inhabit its rooms.

But Perfume is not really a horror film, at least not until the very end. It’s also not a giallo, despite that vague title, the occasional saturated color gel and the fate of Barilli’s characters. The path he takes to get there is a bit too bumpy for narrative’s sake; how much you’re willing to forgive its leaps may correspond directly to your overall enjoyment. There’s no denying this Lady has style; I just wish she made a little more sense, too. —Rod Lott

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