Fifty Shades of Grey (2015)

50shadesSays bachelor billionaire Christian Grey early in the hotly anticipated Fifty Shades of Grey, “I enjoy various physical pursuits.” Given the cultural dominance of the source material, even those who haven’t read E.L. James’ best-selling “mommy porn” novel (which began life as a piece of Twilight fan fiction) recognize the innuendo dripping from the line: In the bedroom, the dude loves to employ ropes, whips, crops, chains, cuffs and other items displayed on end caps at your neighborhood True Value hardware store. 
 
It’s one of many moments spring-loaded with a nudge and a wink, not all of which are spoken. In its aim to titillate, Fifty Shades trafficks in the unsubtle, beginning with a shot of our virgin heroine, Anastasia Steele (because she’s strong, get it?), craning her neck at Grey’s phallic tower penetrating the Seattle skyline. Soon after meeting the man for an interview, she absentmindedly fiddles with a pencil about her puffy lips. In case audiences are so hormonally charged in anticipation that they miss the sexual symbolism at play, the writing instrument literally is labeled “GREY” (it’s his penis, get it?).

50shades1As the film drones on, subtlety becomes as beaten as Steele’s behind. Witness Grey (Jamie Dornan, TV’s The Fall) completing a contract negotiation on anal and vaginal fisting and the like by telling the object of his affection possession, “I’d like to fuck you into the middle of next week.” Steele (Dakota Johnson, 21 Jump Street) doesn’t clear her calendar; instead, she attempts to crack Grey’s cement wall of emotions. In his world of whims and privilege, everything is a transaction, to the point where his power quirks reside on such a level of Howard Hughes-odd — won’t sleep in a bed with another person, hasn’t been photographed with a woman — that the script would not be out of line if its third act revealed robotic parts lurking behind Grey’s beady eyes. 

But Fifty Shades has no third act; it barely has a second. Whereas story structure demands setup, then conflict and, finally, resolution, the incongruously 125-minute movie is nearly all establishment, with maybe 15 minutes of conflict before an abrupt cheat of an “ending.” Although director Sam Taylor-Johnson (Nowhere Boy) has given James’ S&M novel more well-lit gloss than justified, the script credited to Saving Mr. Banks scribe Kelly Marcel is reductive, dumb and dull. For one and only one example, how to convey Steele’s lower lot in life as mousy and unworldly? She uses — gasp! — a flip phone. Repeat: a flip phone! What a vulgarian! 

As Steele, the oft-unclothed, oft-writhing Johnson proves deft at the front half’s comedic scenes, then less effective carrying the dramatic weight toward the end. She fares better than the clearly miscast Dornan, whose rote, single-expression delivery unintentionally turns him into an object of ridicule. When you can’t even sell an O-face in a supposedly erotic film, that spells disaster. 

And there are two more entries in the Fifty Shades saga to come? Were this starter package campy instead of empty, my ass and a theater seat might be more inclined to commit to a binding agreement. —Rod Lott

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The Town That Dreaded Sundown (2014)

towndreadedWhat at first appears to be a baffling creative choice in the 2014 version of The Town That Dreaded Sundown rapidly reveals itself to be among its greatest assets: In the world of this remake, the original 1976 film exists. Obscure compared to most of what Hollywood revives and reboots these days, that source material is referenced throughout as the authorities and various townspeople discuss it; many even watch it.

While this film is fictional, the crime spree it depicts has real-life basis: In 1946, a serial killer dubbed The Phantom of Texarkana (among other catchy names) had the border regions of the Lone Star State and the Natural State gripped in a state of shock. His five murders went unsolved and became cemented in cinematic immortality for the ’76 Sundown, a cheap but effective (and profitable) project for hick-pic director Charles B. Pierce (The Legend of Boggy Creek) that wades in docudrama and horror thriller without fully committing to either. The remake has no such identity crisis, pushing all its chips to the corner of the felt marked “slasher.”

towndreaded1In its meta take, the Texarkana residents commemorating the murders’ 65th anniversary are panicked when a copycat killer — potato-sack headgear and all — begins offing good-looking youngsters who dare give in to their hard-R impulses. Our parentless Final Girl (Addison Timlin, Odd Thomas) survives and investigates.

By acknowledging not just the true-crime element, but Pierce’s real-life film, director Alfonso Gomez-Rejon (the Sundance-anointed Me and Earl and the Dying Girl) and screenwriter Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa (2013’s Carrie remake) are allowed to have their devil’s-food cake and eat it, too; technically, they’re not recreating Sundown’s kills with contemporary gore galore (near-iconic death-by-trombone scene included) — they’re commenting on them, right?

There is no correct answer. Love or loathe the execution (pun not intended), there is no denying it’s different. Gomez-Rejon calls the shots with considerable style; they pop with gorgeous color. He also ably captures the heavy humidity of the region’s sticky summer nights. If only all horror remakes could convey half as much. —Rod Lott

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Reading Material: 3 Film-Related Reads to Capture Your Ripped-Out Heart

theme70Overall, fans of cult cinema should enjoy Mark J. Banville’s Theme ’70: Tackling the Beast They Call Exploitation Cinema, yet it’s important to note what the trade paperback is and is not. First and foremost, UK publisher Headpress has blessed it with a subtitle that is not truly indicative of the actual contents. That’s because the book, largely reprinted from Banville’s Theme ’70 zine of the early 1990s, offers comparatively very little in the way of words; it works best as a collection of posters and ad mats straight from the kitsch-en sink. When the author does review a movie — most of the flicks covered herald from blaxploitation — it’s short and sweet and really more of a plot summary than actual opinion. That’s not a complaint, because the book is a ton of fun, but being more collage than criticism hardly qualifies as “tackling the beast”; in other words, expect images, not insight. I would have liked to have seen an introduction that told the history of the zine (one I had never heard of until now) and, thus, placed the material that follows in solid context. More telling is that I would like to see even more of this stuff. It’s a hoot.

evilspeak3Hey, speaking of zines, that DIY art form was huge in the 1990s, particularly in the realm of B movies, before the Internet all but killed them. Ironically, the print zine has been making a comeback where cult film is concerned, and one near-sterling example is the ad-free Evilspeak Horror Magazine. Now on its third issue, each one is impressively designed (by Justin Stubbs) and larger than the previous, to the point that the current edition is really a trade paperback. In its 134 pages, you get celebrations of horror, horror and — yep! — horror, with a deep focus on flicks that wallow in the gutter well below the mainstream. Issue 3 also features an article on the horror comics of Eerie Publications, plus an original comic of its own. If there’s a bone to pick with Evilspeak, it’s that a couple of the writers tend to summarize a film rather than discuss it, and co-founder/co-editor Vanessa Nocera (currently on display in the Hi-8 anthology) is most guilty of this across all issues, even giving away the movies’ endings! Good thing I get a reading buzz nonetheless.

megarevengeLast fall, I ran a review of Danny Marianino’s The Mega Book of Revenge Films — Volume 1: The Big Payback, which read in part, “Maybe it’s just me, but if you’re going to write a book about movies in which the whole point is characters seeking vengeance, shouldn’t you be able to spell ‘vengeance’? … [It] is so every-page-riddled with typos, run-on sentences and other egregious errors that it’s obvious he didn’t select ‘Check Spelling’ on his self-published manuscript.” However, thanks to the technological magic of today’s print-on-demand world, newly purchased copies of the paperback reflect Marianino performing a little clean-up work, including reinstating a lost photograph that originally resulted in a big ol’ blank space. What’s important is that even with the errors that remain, the man’s passion for these movies stands front and center. His shoot-the-shit approach to discussing (vs. reviewing) the films fan-to-fan is infectious; you’ll emerge from it with a large list of titles to catch or revisit, not to mention a yearning for Mega’s promised 2016 follow-up, Volume 2: Gleaming the Cube. —Rod Lott

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John Wick (2014)

johnwickOne of the special features on the Blu-ray release of John Wick is a throwaway promo piece called “Don’t F*#% with John Wick.” In a more-perfect, less-PC world, that would have been the film’s title. Heck, I’d settle for it being the tagline, as those five words possess a surplus of cock-rockin’ attitude, whereas the two here … I can’t think of a more inert name in action-movie history. A wick is a part of a candle, for God’s sake, yet this flick is all about the fuse.

Proving once again that he is most effective playing characters who speak softly and carry a big ol’ gun, Keanu Reeves is Wick, your average strong, silent, stoic type. Mere days after the death of his beloved wife (Bridget Moynahan, Battle: Los Angeles), the grieving Wick receives a gift from beyond the grave, so to speak, arranged by the missus prior to expiration: the cutest widdle beagle you ever did see — house-trained, even! At a gas station, snot-nosed Russian criminal Iosef (Alfie Allen, TV’s Game of Thrones) takes note of the pup and Wick’s suh-weet ’69 Mustang. When Wick politely shuns Iosef’s purchase offer, the Russkie is so enraged that he breaks into Wick’s place that night and beats him up. And steals the car. Oh, and kills the dog, just to make certain audiences will be all-in on Wick’s side.

johnwick1What Iosef doesn’t know (presumably because he doesn’t check LinkedIn): Wick is a retired assassin — one of the best. Knowing that Wick will exact revenge, Iosef’s pot-smoking pop, New York crime lord Viggo (Michael Nyqvist, clearly relishing the chance to embody a hammier version of his Mission: Impossible — Ghost Protocol villain), places a $2 million bounty on his former employee’s stringy-haired head. That kind of dough tends to bring out a stack of applicants; playing the more notable sharpshooters are Adrianne Palicki (G.I. Joe: Retaliation) and Willem Dafoe (The Grand Budapest Hotel).

The directorial debut of Chad Stahelski, Reeves’ longtime stunt double (Constantine, The Matrix trilogy and Man of Tai Chi, Reeves’ own surprisingly formidable behind-the-camera birth), John Wick is the rare eight-digit action pic with an A-list star that earned considerable critical acclaim. Yes, the movie makes for a terrific time, but it also arrives to home video a tad overpraised; had Reeves not been in a box-office slump for the better part of the past decade — especially nipping at the heels of 2013’s epic-disastrous 47 Ronin — I suspect the buzz barely would have reached a mild boil.

That’s not to say John Wick isn’t well-built or well-oiled — far from it. Stahelski keeps things moving at a dizzying pace and his neon-and-nighttime transition shots would have Michael Mann nodding like a proud papa. The balls aren’t just to the wall — they’re framed by Hobby Lobby. It’s just that the film isn’t a game-changer of the genre; the main reason for its Welcome Wagon reception is that it doesn’t do what so many expected it to: suck. —Rod Lott

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Kiss the Blood Off My Hands: On Classic Film Noir

kissbloodProvocatively and perfectly titled, Kiss the Blood Off My Hands: On Classic Film Noir attempts to be, as editor Robert Miklitsch writes, “a collection that confines itself to the extraordinary scope and depth, the embarrassment of riches” of the genre. Now that film noir has bled over into, of all things, mainstream video games, perhaps it’s time for another where-we’ve-been / where-it-stands examination of this influential and invigorating type of Hollywood crime picture.

The University of Illinois Press paperback concludes with a four-page appendix of “Critical Literature” on the subject, and Kiss the Blood succeeds so well in meeting its stated goal, it deserves a spot on its own list.

While the text is academic in approach, it is hardly inaccessible to any self-taught cineaste, to any criminally minded movie watcher able to see something — anything — lurking beyond the bang-bang visual surface. From as many contributors, the 10 essays within admirably convey that preface-referenced “scope and depth.” Where else can one absorb quality criticism on the use of rear projection in Edgar G. Ulmer’s now-landmark Detour?

Amid selections devoted to heist films and notable producers, Miklitsch himself attempts to answer the age-old question of “What is noir?” by pinpointing the alpha and omega — that is, the beginning and end — of America’s so-called classic cycle. In doing so, he considers the work of Orson Welles and the two Roberts (Aldrich and Wise), not to mention Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart’s famous definition of pornography.

The book begins with a pair of female-centric pieces, as Philippa Gates and Julie Grossman respectively examine women’s roles in screen detection and film noir overall. One supposes Krin Gabbard’s chapter immediately following, on the love song’s gradual but palpable vanishing act from noir, also will hold large appeal to women readers before Kiss the Blood’s focus shifts away from gender politics and into noir’s subgenres or elements thereof.

Of particular interest is the most unusual, as J.P. Telotte explores how cartoons and animated features, from Donald Duck to Roger Rabbit, filtered, mirrored, distilled, stole and just plain parodied film noir tropes, in “Disney Noir: ‘Just Drawn That Way.’” Its specificity in subject is reflective of this collection’s major strength: variety, with credibility closely tied. —Rod Lott

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