Invaders from Proxima B (2023)

Looking like Oscar the Grouch made from your Memaw’s discarded fur coat, an alien named Chuck lands in the backyard of the Howie Jankins family. Chuck’s made this pilgrimage to save the human race because he says Earth is up for auction to the highest celestial bidder. He simply needs to swap bodies with Howie (Chillerama’s Ward Roberts, dressed in full Bespoke Church Bro mode) for a couple of hours to secure the planet.

Simple, right? Not when Chuck’s also being pursued by a dreadlocked conspiracy theorist/influencer (Sarah Lassez, The Clown at Midnight), a religious nut from animal control (Jeremiah Birkett, CB4) and two nitwit intergalactic bounty hunters (Office Space’s Richard Riehle and The Mortuary Collection’s Mike C. Nelson) in — wait for it — Hawaiian shirts! Ho-ho, let the wackiness begin! 

Despite its kid-unfriendly title, Invaders from Proxima B is a family-friendly sci-fi comedy, what with its cartoon sequences, ninja lizards and the ALF-esque Chuck. As Proxima’s writer and director, Roberts overloads his passion project with lowest-hanging-fruit jokes on farts, poop and Howie’s wife (Samantha Sloyan, 2016’s Hush) having boobs. I don’t mean to imply the movie is offensive; it’s not.

But it is strikingly unfunny. Like the puppet at its hollow center, Invaders bares no teeth. While its attempt at satirizing YouTubers suggests an intended bite, the overall comedic vibe is physical and slapstick. When Chuck and Howie swap bodies, Roberts’ worst impulses to manifest Jim Carrey circa 1994 are not only realized, but cringe-inducing.

Rugrats might be more open to such silliness, as well as the effects and action — well-staged, if a bit too Sam Raimi-cribbed. However, children also may be confused trying to keep track of all the swapping, as everybody trades bodies with everybody else. It’s like the movie’s grooming youngsters for key parties.

That last line’s a joke, to be clear. But this is not: In terms of enjoyment, I expected Proxima B to at least surpass Nukie. That shouldn’t be so much to ask. —Rod Lott

In a Violent Nature (2024)

While watching any of the 10 Friday the 13th sequels, have you ever wondered how Jason Voorhees conveniently winds up at exactly the right place to impale a promiscuous camper? Chris Nash’s deconstructionist slasher, In a Violent Nature, provides an undeniably poignant answer: He just walks.

Well, he walks after a random camper nabs a necklace that kept the monster buried beneath a charred sawmill. The plot is intentionally bare bones: The killer wanders into town, then finds an iconic mask and weapon before brutally dismembering folks with blood-chilling creativity.

The film rebukes most of the genre’s typical quick cuts and relentless jump scares. Instead, it favors a slow, methodical and over-the-shoulder approach that follows a reanimated serial killer as he slaughters foul-mouthed farmers, angsty campers and a lawman with a narratively convenient legacy. It’d be easy to compare the shifted focus to Scott Glosserman’s Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon, though even that mockumentary falls headfirst into the conventions it tries to critique.

That’s not to suggest In a Violent Nature doesn’t lean on tropes, but it at least juggles and harnesses them in a unique and mostly satisfying way. Its contemplative pace and unflinching cinematography don’t beg questions, but evoke a feeling like David and Nathan Zellner’s Sasquatch Sunset. The film only wanes when it gives into slasher norms — specifically breaking away from the killer’s perspective — in what is presumably an attempt to break up the monotony. And though the frequent, slower sequences sometimes border meandering, they also allow the film’s bloated zombie to float above a swamp of nameless, uninspired killers.

In dissecting slashers, however, the flick also must lean into them. This means campy dialogue runs rampant. At times, it works to cast historically poor lighting in a different light, sort of like the ineffable chirps of some finches before they’re snagged by a bird-eating spider. A particularly egregious campfire scene almost squanders this effect, as the film spends a bit too long removed from its subject for the sake of dumping some ultimately unnecessary exposition. It’s as though Nash didn’t trust his premise, fearing it would veer into Skinamarink territory and bore the audience. While he might be right, leaning into the gory nature doc vibe a bit more could’ve help the film garner a little more permeance.

Some small stumbles aside, In a Violent Nature still manages to carve a path that should intrigue even those less inclined to slashers. Its clinical approach to kills paired with a genuinely haunting ending makes it a clear frontrunner (or maybe “frontwalker”) for the best horror film of 2024. —Daniel Bokemper

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Pandemonium (2023)

Hell is other people. That, you knew. But in the case of Pandemonium, an artful French anthology, the saying is literal, as a newcomer to the underworld gets to see the origin stories of the corpses strewn about him.

That person is Nathan (Hugo Dillon, The Sisters Brothers), entering hell through a portal appearing on the snowy highway after he’s involved in a car crash that claims three lives in total. Upon arrival, it looks like he’s stepped into the barren wasteland at the finale of Lucio Fulci’s The Beyond

Furthering examining and exorcising themes he explored in 2018’s All the Gods in the Sky, writer/director Quarxx — just Quarxx, merci beaucoup — shows us how two others arrived there. First, a little girl (Manon Maindivide) who wakes to find her parents murdered, presumably at the hands of a deformed man (Meander’s Carl Laforêt, acting behind a triumph of makeup) residing in the cellar.

In another scenario, a single mother (Ophélia Kolb, Gainsbourg: A Heroic Life) goes to extremes in denying that her bullied daughter (Sidwell Weber, 2014’s Among the Living) has committed suicide. Finally, it’s Nathan’s turn. Then, unlike the others, we get to witness punishment meted. And, with Quarxx as a card-carrying member of the New French Extremity, it ain’t pretty.

Story to story, the acting is superb. As a child, Maindivide deserves special mention for turning in a performance somehow in line with the segment’s dark comedic overtones. Throughout, whether the vibe is philosophical or unspeakable, the visuals startle. As Pandemonium descends further and further, building to a depraved ending Clive Barker would admire, Quarxx’s imagination grows. Pretentious moniker notwithstanding, he’s one to watch. —Rod Lott

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The Curse of King Tut’s Tomb (1980)

If you weren’t alive and aware of your surroundings in the late 1970s, you can’t comprehend the level of popularity and pervasiveness the Egyptian pharaoh Tutankhamen gripped on our culture. It’d be impressive for anyone, but it’s extraordinary for a dude who’d spent the previous 3,000 years as a pile of dust. 

Among the cashing-inners: NBC, broadcasting The Curse of King Tut’s Tomb, a horror-tinged, mystery-minded work of fiction somehow based on Barry Wynne nonfiction book. A dapper Robin Ellis (TV’s original Poldark) headlines the made-for-telly movie as real-life tomb raider Howard Carter, whose bowtie looms larger than the bottom half of his face. Carter endears himself at the start by asking a local boy his name and, apparently not liking all the consonants and weird accents, tells the kid dismissively, “I’ll just call you ‘Fishbait.’”

In the sands of Egypt, archeologist Carter and his crew unearth an artifact that warns of death for anyone who dares disturb the king’s sleep. Near immediately, “accidents” befall others: a scorpion attack, a snakebite, an earthquake, the snapping of a biddy’s parasol in two! Say, how do you expect that biplane with a skull-and-crossbones decal will fare? 

The “mystery” at play is whether is the harm — fatal or not — is proof of a true supernatural curse or the work of a corrupt dealer played by Raymond Burr (Godzilla 1985) in brownface and various color sashes. Only everybody watching knows for sure! 

Eva Marie Saint (North by Northwest) is on hand to lend Oscar-minted credibility to the project, but her role as Carter’s love interest is thankless. Somehow they also recruited the venerated Paul Scofield (Quiz Show) to deliver narration, which only adds to — rather than offsets — the telepic’s old-fashioned fussiness. —Rod Lott

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The Church (1989)

Filled to the brim with incomprehensible horror, The Church is director Michele Soavi’s follow-up to his feature film debut, Stagefright. Billed in some areas as the third Demons entry, the film has more in common with Rosemary’s Baby and John Carpenter’s Prince of Darkness, released only two years prior, than it does with the series.

There is some connective tissue between the two, namely the presence of producer Dario Argento and the premise of people trapped together fending off supernatural entities. But while Demons and its sequel features superb creature makeup and tons of gore, The Church trades in surreal imagery and set pieces that form a somewhat cohesive but altogether disjointed story. 

The narrative begins in the Middle Ages, where a group of knights slaughter an entire village based on the assumption one of its citizens is a devil-worshipping witch. The knights bury the corpses in a mass grave and construct the titular church atop it, as a means of keeping the supposed evil trapped within.

Fast-forward to present day, where Evan (Tomas Arana), the church’s new librarian, arrives for his first day at work. A wannabe archeologist, Evan loathes his new job and seeks a project that will bring him fame and fortune. He thinks he’s found what he’s looking for when Lisa (Barbara Cupisti) discovers a parchment in the church’s dilapidated catacombs that appears to be hundreds of years old. Evan obsesses over the document, eventually discovering hidden passages in latin that speak of a stone with seven eyes.

This leads Evan to return to the church in the middle of the night to search for the stone. He finds it in the catacombs, affixed to a large cross on the ground, and when he moves it aside, naturally, all hell breaks loose. It becomes up to a friendly archer priest (Hugh Quarshie) and the young daughter of the church’s sacristan (Asia Argento, in one of her earliest film roles) to restore balance and keep the evil contained. 

While not much more can be said of the story, the film’s visuals and special effects deserve special recognition, in particular a shot of a winged creature embracing a nude woman — a direct reference to Boris Vallejo’s Vampire’s Kiss painting Also of note is the music, alternately by Keith Emerson (of Emerson, Lake & Palmer fame), Philip Glass and Goblin. The Church is overall a splendid audio/visual experience that’s a must-see for fans of surreal horror. —Christopher Shultz

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