Category Archives: Documentary

Growin’ a Beard (2003)

Just like it sounds, Growin’ a Beard is a documentary about a beard-growing contest. In particular, the annual St. Patrick’s Day Donegal beard-growing contest in dinky Shamrock, Texas. The Donegal beard is a mustache-less style — think leprechauns and the Amish. Starting just before New Year’s Day in 1997, director Mike Woolf focuses his camera on four longtime residents (and oft-winners), asking their strategies and secrets. A monkey wrench is thrown into the tradition when a young art director from Austin enters on a lark and threatens to usurp the regulars, even though an outsider has never won.

That man, Scotty McAfee, is the subject of the film’s funniest moment, when people who know him compare the ad man to a series of hirsute pop icons, including Grizzly Adams, the original G.I. Joe doll and Jonny Quest guardian Race Bannon.

Thirty minutes is plenty long for this doc. Although pleasant and unthreatening, its numerous shaving scenes grow tiresome and could have been, um, trimmed. The video is jerky at times, but such is to be expected for a no-budget, handheld effort — and Woolf deserves props for not making fun of his subjects. He shows them as they are, which unintentionally depressed me, because I get easily bummed out thinking about small-town life.

The real reason to check out this DVD is for a bonus short titled The 72 Oz. Steak, which packs three times the laughs and suspense in a third of the time. At the famed Big Texan in Amarillo, a friend of Woolf’s attempts to eat the titular object — plus potato, salad, shrimp cocktail and dinner roll — in an hour in order to avoid paying $50 for it. Who knew four pounds of meat could be so enthralling? —Rod Lott

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Grizzly Man (2005)

Many things of beauty exist that man simply was not meant to fuck with: thunderstorms, fire, waterfalls, Jennifer Lopez, grizzly bears. The latter proved the last of Timothy Treadwell. As Werner Herzog’s wildly acclaimed documentary Grizzly Man proves, the self-appointed bear protector/failed actor knew this — absolutely knew he could be bitten, decapitated, eaten, shish-kabobbed, what have you — and yet put himself in harm’s way, on purpose, for 13 years, until one of the bears finally got tired of him being around.

Sporting a haircut that screams “Jeff Daniels in Dumb & Dumber,” Treadwell shot his own field movies, which show the drama queen hanging out with the bears in a proximity that humans should do only when friggin’ zoo bars exist between the two. He talks to the bears like a would-be Dr. Dolittle, granting them them cutesie names: Grinch, Aunt Melissa, Mr. Chocolate, Freckles. (Ditto for foxes, i.e. Banjo.) I can guess how Sgt. Brown got his moniker; he’s the bear that defecates a lot while fighting with one Mickey Bear.

Speaking of poop, Treadwell is shown touching a fresh, steaming pile because he thinks it’s beautiful it came from the butt of his beloved Wendy. If you think that’s weird, wait until he sheds tears over a dead bee. Yes, there’s something that wasn’t right with the man; apparently, he drank too many brain cells away to think he had forged some relationship with them that they understood his words. He’s like The Crocodile Hunter without the cable contract.

That makes Herzog’s doc fascinating and infuriating. If you’re looking to get off on grizzly footage of Treadwell’s death by furry creature, you’ll be disappointed; seek solace in your Faces of Death collection, perv. (You will, however, find an extended story about exploding soup, if you’re into that sort of thing.) Still, the movie is unsettling, and not just because of an unblinking mortician. Moral of the story? Please do not feed the bears. —Rod Lott

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Bugs Bunny: Superstar (1975)

It’s possible to be a movie lover and not like Greta Garbo or John Wayne or Humphrey Bogart, and still retain some credibility — but turn your nose up at Bugs Bunny and hell hath no depth too deep for you, you humorless poseur.

Too harsh? Not harsh enough, doc.

Director Larry Jackson celebrated all things wascally with the documentary Bugs Bunny: Superstar. It contains live-action footage of the cartoonists and their staffs acting out stories before the animation began — Tex Avery was a hoot — but it’s mostly long on cartoons (a good thing) by including nine full-length examples from the 1940s, only six of which star Bugs. It’s short on documentary factoids about the history of the character and the gang who created and developed him in a creaky building called Termite Terrace on the Warner Bros. lot.

It’s this material, most of which is spoken by one of Bugs’ papas, Bob Clampett, that generated some hurt feelings when this film was released. Co-creators Avery and Friz Freleng are also interviewed, and while Clampett had complimentary things to say about Chuck Jones, Jones — who could nurse a grudge like Silas Marner could nurse a nickel — accused Clampett of being a credit hog. The thing is, when this picture was made, almost everyone from the days of classic animation was looking for credit for the work he’d done for hire in the 1930s-1950s, so a lot of exaggeration was going around.

But you can ignore this backstory and enjoy the film for the comedy it contains. Especially fun are the undeniable classics The Wild Hare (1940), A Corny Concerto (1943), My Favorite Duck (1942) and Hair-Raising Hare (1946). The movie is narrated by an obviously-in-on-the-joke Orson Welles. —Doug Bentin

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Wisconsin Death Trip (1999)

Between 1890 and 1900, a plague of bad luck and madness settled over the area around Black River Falls, Wis., about 68 miles west of Plainfield, Ed Gein’s stomping ground. Based on Michael Lesy’s book, Wisconsin Death Trip is a documentary that tells the story of dangerous, eccentric, insane happenings of that time and place.

I especially like the story of the farmer who committed suicide by digging a small hole in the ground, placing a stick of dynamite in it, lighting the fuse and then lying down with his head over the hole. And there’s former schoolteacher Mary Sweeney, aka the Wisconsin Window Smasher, who traversed the state several times, breaking panes when the mania came upon her to do so. One trip cost window-owners over $50,000. Locals are continually being hauled off to the Mendota Asylum, from which they frequently escape by just walking away or, more drastically, by hanging themselves.

Many of the film’s visuals are derived from period photos taken by Charles Van Schaik, including a lot of children in their coffins, and the narration by Ian Holm comes entirely from newspaper articles and obituaries of the time. Many of the incidents are re-created using actors.

This is easily one of the most unusual pictures you will ever see, but don’t expect a lightning pace or answers to your questions. No one seems to have figured out what was going on, beyond economic hard times and real estate sellers who lied to the under-educated Norwegian immigrants about the value of the land they bought sight unseen. And maybe lead in the water. This is one creepy movie. —Doug Bentin

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Graphic Sexual Horror (2009)

At the height of its popularity, the now-defunct Insex.com had 35,000 members, all of whom joined to indulge in graphic depictions of the sexual torture of beautiful women. The title of the documentary about the site, Graphic Sexual Horror, should be taken as a warning, not a sensationalistic come-on. This is not the naughty bondage-lite of Bettie Page; this is the stuff of Saw-inspired serial killers.

Co-directors Barbara Bell and Anna Lorentzon aren’t coy about the footage they include in the film, which is certainly brave of them, but also foolish. Unlike the similar Zoo, which only showed the briefest possible glimpse of the activity in question and still managed to remain highly effective, here the viewer is eventually numbed by the constant sadomasochistic imagery, making it difficult to focus on the points being raised.

Which is a shame because there are several interesting points raised in the film. Especially intriguing is the question of whether or not any act can be considered truly consensual once money is added into the equation. In one interview, a model admits a scene she took part in could be considered rape, but she let it to continue and appeared in several more after it, because the money she earned allowed her to go on frivolous shopping sprees.

How many people, I wonder, could share similar sentiments about the regular jobs (i.e. those that don’t involve undesired anal penetration) they go to every day? It’s too bad Graphic Sexual Horror gets too caught up in its own transgressive extremity to satisfactorily answer this and the other questions it raises. —Allan Mott

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