Admittedly, The Phantom of the Opera is among Dario Argento’s worst films. Even still, I didn’t find it to be that bad, even if Joel Schumacher’s musical version of Phantom is better. It’s not like the movies needed another version of Gaston Leroux’s 1910 classic novel, but at least Argento puts his own bloody stamp on things.

The story is pretty faithful to its source material: A man who lives in the tunnels underneath the opera falls in love with one of its young singers, to the point where he’s murder everyone else to see her front and center with the leading part. Argento’s big turn is that his Phantom (Julian Sands) isn’t horribly disfigured and, thus, doesn’t wear a mask. He does, however, have rock-star hair befitting a metal band.

The Christine of his dreams is played by Asia Argento, and she and The Phantom get down and dirty a couple of times. (Once more, it’s a little unsettling to see her disrobing for sex scenes for her father to shoot, especially since The Phantom likes it doggy-style.) The Phantom so wants Christine to star on the stage version of Romeo and Juliet that he assaults the “fat cow” leading lady by clawing deep gashes into her left udder.

In between all the talky-talky that goes on, we’re given scenes of rats feeding on a man’s hand caught in a trap, a decapitation of a man riding around on some steampunk rodent-catching vehicle, The Phantom pulling out a woman’s tongue with only his teeth, and so on. If only it didn’t look shot on video and extremely cheap, viewers would be kinder. After all, they certainly were when Argento visited Opera in 1987, but there was no question that deserved it. —Rod Lott

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Complaints leveled against Children of the Corn: Genesis largely amount to “It hardly has any kids!” Well, good! God forbid a moribund franchise based on a Stephen King story tries to do something different, especially for one as far up as its eighth entry.

After a 1973 prologue pretty much unrelated to the remainder of the movie, married-and-expectant California couple Tim and Allie (Tim Rock and Kelen Coleman) are stranded in the middle of nowhere, thanks to car troubles. A brief walk puts them on the doorstep of rickety farmhouse occupied by the unfriendly Preacher (Billy Drago, The Untouchables‘ Frank Nitti) and his hot, young, European wife (Barbara Nedeljakova of both Hostels).

You know they’re in for the worst night of their middle-class lives because of the “rickety farmhouse” and “Billy Drago.” Soon enough and sure enough, a busted radiator and being unwelcome are the least of their worries. Finding that Preacher keeps a kid captive in a barn out back makes Tim and Allie need to figure out an escape not only for them, but that malnourished tot.

Pay no mind that this is not a prequel as the title suggests, nor that it bears little resemblance to the King tale. Genesis stands on its own quite well, heading into angles of poltergeists and possessions, leading me to believe it would be better-liked if not branded/burdened with the Corn name. However, without it, far fewer would see it. Ah, the Catch-22s of straight-to-video movies, which writer/director Joel Soisson (Mimic 2) can turn out better than most, right down to a cruel-for-a-laugh final shot. —Rod Lott

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