All posts by Rod Lott

Reading Material

Horror Films FAQ / Armageddon Films FAQ

Leave a comment

horrorfilmsfaqJohn Kenneth Muir’s Horror Films FAQ will appeal most to those who have read his many, many books on scary movies before, yet they will gain little from it. There are better starting places for newcomers to the genre, many of whom I would bet already know more about the likes of Dracula and Frankenstein than this guide assumes.

To be fair, the Universal Monsters and their archetypes are hardly the only cinematic bad guys the book covers; also under the spotlight are aliens, animals, serial killers, zombies, ghosts, kids and ol’ Scratch himself (aka Satan).

Later in the book, and this is where Muir excels, he turns more toward trends than creatures to give brief rundowns of torture porn, Asian remakes and adaptations of video games and Stephen King novels. There’s even a chapter on TV shows, despite the fact they’re not films and that Muir already has written an entire book on the subject (2001’s cost-prohibitive Terror Television).

In his introduction to Horror Films FAQ, he writes, “Countenancing a good scary movie is not just fun, it’s actually cathartic.” I’d be inclined to agree if I knew exactly what he meant; “countenance” means “sanction,” but that doesn’t quite fit the line. No big deal — it’s just the first of many odd choices, opinions and phrases that pop up throughout, whether classifying Lovely Molly as found footage (only in part, but not overwhelmingly) or deeming the TV series Dexter and The Walking Dead as soap operas.

armageddonfilmsfaqWith only a little overlap, worth exploring more is Dale Sherman’s Armageddon Films FAQ. Because “armageddon” is not a genre as “horror” is, the canvas is comparatively blank, allowing for surprise.

Yes, Sherman delves into the expected disaster films and/or nearly the entire CV of Roland Emmerich, but also zombie uprisings, ape planets, Martian invasions, killer viruses and body snatchers. His scope is so wide, some titles are included that might not have come to my mind for “end of the world” viewing even after hours of thinking: Fight Club, Judge Dredd (the Stallone one) and Kids in the Hall: Brain Candy.

As with Muir’s book, Sherman also includes a chapter dedicated to examples on the tube, plus adds one on music videos. Again, these aren’t films, but I guess whenever civilization does collapse and we’re without electricity, we’ll all need more to read, right? —Rod Lott

Buy them at Amazon.

Action

The Spirit (2008)

2 Comments

thespiritHow appropriate for Frank Miller’s The Spirit to open with the image of a flatlining heart monitor, as his film is dead on arrival — an utterly lifeless, hollow shell. If Miller wanted to endear a whole new generation to Will Eisner’s comic creation, this $60 million feature was not the way to do it. Instead, this all but assures those unfamiliar with the source material that they will remain that way, that the original comics shall never touch their hands.

Too bad, because the virtually unknown Gabriel Macht (Behind Enemy Lines) is not a bad choice to fill the role and red tie of The Spirit, the masked-and-suited crimefighter formerly known as slain cop Denny Colt. He has the right look, the right attitude; he’s just in the wrong movie.

thespirit1Tonally, The Spirit is an absolute misfire. Eisner’s comics had a slight streak of goofiness running through them, often with a sense of humor as sharp as the overall material often was dark, but never on the level of Three Stooges slapstick comedy, complete with cartoon sound effects lathered on with a dozen too many punches of the button. Miller even includes the dreaded “scratched record” effect, as if demonstrating in one misbegotten move how out-of-touch he is for such material.

The inert narrative involves the retrieval of a vase of the blood of Hercules, which supposedly will grant immortality to whomever partakes of its drops. Archenemy The Octopus (Samuel L. Jackson, Marvel’s The Avengers) wants it; diamond thief Sand Serif (a stunningly sexy Eva Mendes, The Other Guys) has it. The Spirit chases both, while he also chases skirts. Nothing ever really happens to advance a plot, as if the entire thing were a MacGuffin; characters are abruptly introduced and given little to do beyond blighting the résumés of their actors. Macht is the only one who doesn’t embarrass himself (or us), whereas Jackson’s entire performance hinges on yelling and talking about how much he hates eggs.

thespirit2You know what The Spirit needs? Well, a frickin’ grocery list of items, but color would have been nice. Eisner’s world popped with blues and reds and greens; Miller’s largely exists in shades of gray. Did Miller’s divorce from a colorist make him detest primary swatches? More or less co-opting the black-and-white-with-a-smidge-of-red palette from his own Sin City was not a wise decision. For one thing, this ain’t Sin City. For another, it makes Miller look like a one-trick pony, and one who’s already three hooves over the threshold of the glue factory at that.

As The Spirit not-so-memorably informs us in his opening monologue, his city screams. And boy, did I scream right along with it, in cinematic pain. —Rod Lott

Buy it at Amazon.

Horror

After Midnight (1989)

Leave a comment

aftermidnightOne of the horror anthologies that popped up in the wake of HBO’s success with Tales from the Crypt, After Midnight emerged from the unreliable talents of Jim and Ken Wheat, sibling scribes of The Fly II, The Birds II and one of those made-for-TV Ewok movies. As you’d expect, this is equally lackluster, but worth a look for omnibus nuts.

A college psych class headed by a freaky professor (Ramy Zada, Two Evil Eyes) provides the framework, as he has students tell each other stories of fear. First up is a couple stranded on an out-of-the-way road; for help, they go to a spooky old house. Second is a pointless tale of four high school girls out for a night on the town, only to end up menaced by a greasy gas station attendant and his ferocious dogs (which end up tearing Tracy Wells, the sister from TV’s Mr. Belvedere, to pieces).

aftermidnight1Marg Helgenberger (TV’s CSI) stars in the final story, of a late-night answering service employee on crutches who’s receiving threatening calls from a psycho (Righteous Kill’s Alan Rosenberg, who became her husband). As is clearly evident, the Wheats don’t know how to end any of these stories, although the first one offers a bit of gore to compensate.

After Midnight isn’t terrible, but — wait, yeah, it is, but for some reason, I’ve seen it a few times and wouldn’t mind it again. —Rod Lott

Buy it at Amazon.

Thriller

The Purge (2013)

2 Comments

PRG_31_5_Promo_CAN_4C_4F.inddHunger for some near-future games? Joining the likes of such government-sanctioned bloodsports as Death Race 2000 and Battle Royale is The Purge, an annual, 12-hour amnesty of rape, murder and what have you— that one night of the year in which you’re allowed to “release the beast,” so to speak, without fear of legal reprisal.

By the year 2022, when this film takes place, the rates of crime and unemployment in the United States have become all but nonexistent and are kept in check by The Purge, practically a national holiday. James Sandin (Ethan Hawke, Sinister) has made a fortune from selling security systems, which shows in the palatial abode he shares with his beautiful wife (Lena Headey, 300) and their two children. Because their high-tech home can go into fortress mode at the push of a button, they’re pretty nonplussed by The Purge; it’s just another night in front of the TV.

purge1All that changes when their son (Max Burkholder, Daddy Day Care) stupidly decides to allow a homeless African-American man (Edwin Hodge, 2012’s Red Dawn) inside after lockdown. The desperate stranger’s pursuers — spoiled rich kids donning private-school blazers, eerie face masks and a swath of entitled arrogance — are so eager to satisfy their savage desires, they’ll do anything to infiltrate the Sandin residence.

With that, the movie shifts into becoming Assault on Gated Neighborhood 13.

The sophomore film of writer/director James DeMonaco (Staten Island), The Purge possesses a preposterous premise that would work better if it set up adequately and if he moved his characters from beat to beat in ways that resembled logic, even judged by speculative fiction’s more forgiving terms. Therefore, I found myself only half-invested in what should be a slam-dunk take on the home-invasion thriller. It’s a slick piece of work and deserves points for having the balls to make an unexpected turn it actually sticks with, but wouldn’t take more than minor tinkering to emerge as so much better than strictly average. —Rod Lott

Buy it at Amazon.

Documentary

Monsters Wanted (2013)

1 Comment

monsterswantedWith visitors of seasonal haunted houses, there’s no telling what might scare them most. However, the partners behind the Asylum Haunted Scream Park know exactly what terrifies them: the stake of their life savings. The 2011 debut of this Kentucky-based Halloween venue, starting 83 days before its uncertain opening, is documented in Brian Cunningham and Joe Laughrey’s Monsters Wanted.

Touting four themed attractions in one, Asylum Haunted Scream Park was established, says co-owner Rich Teachout, to “raise the bar of Halloween in Louisville.” He and girlfriend Janel Nash — the one who talks to a sock puppet during the doc’s talking-head segments — get serious about that statement. To them, the park is more than an income — it’s the way they long to live, no matter the time of year.

monsterswanted1Granted apparent all-access, the camera captures the entire process, including monster auditions (hence the title), actor training and dress rehearsals. It’s one fraught with problems and setbacks and failure and conflict; tensions come to a head between Rich and another partner, resulting in a screaming match you expect to come to blows. The warts-and-all portrayal gives Monsters Wanted credibility, from run-ins with city inspectors to Rich and Janel handling their meager budget with knowing fiscal irresponsibility. Who needs groceries?

Getting to know the people behind the haunted house is the film’s greatest asset. As deadlines loom and pressure mounts, Janel downs instant coffee — in powder form, mind you — and chases it with a swig of soda. One of the more colorful (to put it lightly) personalities among the cast is a bald, beefy grandpa who takes a little too much delight in terrifying kids with a chainsaw, to the point of prompting defecation. And to think the only bodily fluid Leatherface dealt with was blood. —Rod Lott

Buy it at Amazon.