All posts by Rod Lott

Italian Crime Filmography, 1968-1980

italiancrimeTo call Roberto Curti’s book an Italian Crime Filmography, 1968-1980 is to do it a bit of disservice. Yes, the McFarland & Company trade paperback qualifies as a reference book, but by definition, a “filmography” is merely a list, and this is far more than that.

Across a heavy 332 pages, the Italian film critic Curti covers a lot of Eurocrime ground from the country shaped famously like a boot: 13 years worth, to be exact, from 1968 to 1980. Such movies existed before the earlier date, of course, but the author pinpoints that year as the beginning of the subgenre’s peak period, due both to real-life political events and the financial wane of the almighty spaghetti Western.

An introduction addresses the Italian crime pictures before ’68 at the book’s opening and then the ones after ’80 near the book’s end. These bookends provide nice context and closure, but it’s the meat between that really matters.

Here, going year by year — and then alphabetically within those — Curti runs through a good 220 or so films. A cursory plot summary merits a mercifully brief paragraph before a full piece that doubles as essay and review, and this is why “filmography” doesn’t cut it. Curti offers incredible insight and credible criticism throughout, and reading his book is like gaining additional perspective on the titles you’ve seen and compiling recommendations on those you haven’t … yet.

Per McFarland’s usual treatment of film books, poster art and still photos are hardly in short supply. Bravo! —Rod Lott

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Destroyer (1988)

destroyerHad Wes Craven cast Lyle Alzado as Freddy Krueger instead of Robert Englund, the result might look a lot like Destroyer, a slasher movie that gave the former NFL defensive lineman/shriveled-testicled steroid user his first leading role following such big-and-dumb turns in the comedies Tapeheads and Ernest Goes to Camp. I’m not sure whether anyone involved with the production had the heart to tell their star this wasn’t a comedy, because Alzado laughs his way through it.

In a premise that predates both The Horror Show and Craven’s own Shocker, Alzado’s Ivan Moser is a death-row inmate who spends his last minutes alive sweating buckets, squeezing a doll’s head like a stress ball and getting angry over a Wheel of Fortune-esque game show because, dammit, no contestant will pick the letter B! Anyway, Moser is electrocuted to a charred crisp, only to return to haunt the place several months later when its cells are used to shoot the women-in-prison pic Death House Dolls. That fictitious flick’s shoot-’em-and-move-’em director (Psycho-tic Anthony Perkins, quite amusing) would do Roger Corman proud.

destroyer1On-set stuntwoman Susan (Valley Girl Deborah Foreman, adorable as always) is dating the screenwriter (Clayton Rohner, reteaming with Foreman after April Fool’s Day); the two become our heroes as Moser continues his murderous ways, from torching the cowboy-wannabe warden to jackhammering a cop. (Speaking of, Alzado rather phallically brandishing this “tool” became Destroyer‘s key art.)

You know the electric chair will come back into play, but I won’t spoil whose butt is introduced to its 3,000-volt jolt. However, I can reveal without guilt that when Moser corners Susan, he delights in cutting off her hair and then eating it. That gastronomic quirk very well could be the highlight of this serial-killer swiller — inane, but enjoyable in all its overt ’80s-ness, from lingo-laden lines of exposition (“The tungsten element must’ve been bogus!”) to Foreman’s close-cropped hairdo, seemingly modeled after Woody Woodpecker. —Rod Lott

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Are You in the House Alone?! (1978)

areyouhousealoneAre You in the House Alone?! is the question posed over the phone to straight-A student Gail Osborne (Kathleen Beller, The Sword and the Sorcerer) while babysitting. While anonymous and unsettling, the connection is not as iconic as the one a year later When a Stranger Calls, asking Carol Kane if she’s checked the children.

The tele-terror is merely one piece of a multitiered plan of harassment from an unknown admirer/stalker who also places threatening notes in Gail’s school locker. It puts the damper on a burgeoning romance between her and new beau Steve (Scott Colomby, the Porky’s saga), who is disliked by Gail’s high-strung mother (Blythe Danner, Meet the Parents) for breaking curfew. Worse, the badgering escalates into rape. I didn’t spoil anything, either; director Walter Grauman (Paper Man) does that in the first scene before segueing into an hour-long flashback.

areyouhousealone1This being the late 1970s, it’s suggested that Gail’s case against her attacker is a losing proposition due to her not being a virgin — an attitude every bit as dated as the atrocious hairstyles and fashions on display.

For being made for television, Are You in the House Alone?! does a fair job of building some suspense, but once the narrative circles back to the beginning, it makes a complete tonal shift from thriller to drama — and not just a drama, but one with an overly moralizing Afterschool Special feel. Viewers practically can see the seeds of many of a Lifetime movie being planted before their eyes; ultimately, the pic is most notable for giving Dennis Quaid one of his earliest roles. —Rod Lott

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The House of the Laughing Windows (1976)

houselaughingTwenty years after the death of tortured painter Legnani (Tonino Corazzari, Le strelle nel fosso), a restorer is hired to complete the artist’s mural on a church wall in a small, picturesque Italian village. Stefano (Lino Capolicchio, The Bloodstained Shadow) arrives to find a disturbing portrait of a saint whose naked, tied-down body bears seeping wounds from being daggered several times over.

Not for nothing was Legnani known around town as the “Painter of Agony,” for he liked to depict men and women at the precipice of meeting their maker. Stefano finds a tape recording of Legnani droning on, near-orgasmically, about the “purity of death,” which leaves our protagonist with an eerie feeling that he’s not being told everything surrounding this temporary gig. Of course, his inclination is spot-on.

houselaughing1As Stefano sets out to stick his nose into Legnani’s legacy and history, not to mention the story behind this unfinished fresco, death rears its head — suicide or murder? The path of Stefano’s unofficial investigation is paved with an elderly paraplegic woman, two hot-to-trot teachers, a rat-eating altar boy, a fridge full of live snails, untold numbers of shadows and secrets, and eventually, The House of the Laughing Windows.

At one point, Stefano’s love interest (Francesca Marciano, Seven Beauties) remarks, “The gloomy darkness is romantic. Right?” — a line which nails much of the appeal of the Gothic film by Pupi Avati (Revenge of the Dead), which takes a turn toward horror in its final moments. There’s not much to the easily solvable mystery, but it’s fun to watch it unfold — or flop out, as the case may be. As with many Euro shockers of the period, atmosphere mitigates shortcomings. —Rod Lott

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13: Game of Death (2006)

13gameofdeathIn Bangkok, 32-year-old Yamaha instrument salesman Phuchit — “Chad” in the English dub — is fired at the most inopportune time: when he is in debt to the tune of tens of thousands. Potential salvation arrives in the form of an anonymous cellphone call inviting Phuchit (Krissada Sukosol, The Adventures of Iron Pussy) to play 13: Game of Death.

With a baker’s dozen of challenges, the mild-mannered Phuchit has the opportunity to win $1 million, all or nothing. Early rounds seem simple enough — swat a fly, make three children cry, rob a bum — then balloon in complexity to demented extremes, including — what else? — murder. For all the wrong reasons, the most memorable mission is the fifth, in which our desperate, depressed hero must consume a plate of feces drizzled in a beef gravy. At least I hope that was gravy; either way, the scene is a true stomach-churner, made further disgusting by the protagonist’s face and clothes bearing stains and smears from his lunch for the rest of the movie.

13 Game of Death movie imageYou may not proceed beyond that, and I can’t say I recommend anyone do. The “let’s play a game” scenario has fueled dozens of fine, credibility-stretching thrillers, but 13: Game of Death squanders its massive potential even before Phuchit’s visit to the restaurant (for which I’d love to read his Yelp! review).

Matthew Chookiat Sakveerakul (writer of the 2008 girl-powered martial-arts movie Chocolate) begins the Thai-language film in earnest, then suddenly introduces comedic elements that are not present in the initial quarter. In high-stakes stories of life or death, you can’t go from slapstick to samurai swording a dog and expect to keep the audience to stay alongside you. It just doesn’t work, especially when the running time overstays its welcome by a good 30 minutes of nearly two hours — a bane of many Asian genre pics, Thailand included.

Throw in an ending that’s terrible and two people have lost this Game: Sakveerakul and the viewer. —Rod Lott

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