All posts by Rod Lott

The Secret Art of Human Flight (2023)

Depressed to a point of paralysis over his wife’s premature passing, the grief-stricken Ben (The Royal Tenenbaums’ Grant Rosenmeyer) follows an internet rabbit hole to a mysterious man offering an escape — not suicide, but the power to fly. Not of sound mind, Ben spends $5,400 on the shady self-help course.

Soon, the would-be guru appears at Ben’s door with a litany of tasks as highly unorthodox as his name: Mealworm. The ravings of a lunatic? The work of a prophet? Or perhaps all in Ben’s imagination? The answer awaits in The Secret Art of Human Flight, an ambitious fantasy from director H.P. Mendoza (I Am a Ghost) and first-time screenwriter/America Ninja Warrior contestant Jesse Orenshein.

When venturing into magical realism, some amounts of quirk and whimsy are expected — if not required — to pull things off. But leaning too heavily upsets the balance, sending viewers tumbling into the twee. That’s what happens here, following a promising start.

As Mealworm, Paul Raci (rightly Oscar-nommed for the powerful Sound of Metal) is excellent. In the moments Secret Art delights, it’s no coincidence Raci is onscreen. And when he’s not, the film often frustrates; Rosenmeyer’s character is simply not likable. A deep funk is a fine establishing point, but as the story progresses, and Ben is revealed to be even more of an asshole, cheering him on is too large an ask.

If nothing else, The Secret Art of Human Flight is worth watching for its end credits song, a slice of such pop jubilance that I would’ve sworn under testimony as the work of The Polyphonic Spree. Instead, it’s Mendoza, Raci and Rosenmeyer. If only the film the tune supports were as uplifting and transportive. —Rod Lott

Get it at Amazon.

Deer Camp ’86 (2022)

In horror movies, hunters often receive the short shrift. They’re almost always randos relegated to one scene for the sole purpose of being dispatched by Jason Voorhees and his ilk. They’re not introduced so much as placed in the way — a minor obstacle to “overcome” on the way to those nubile, horny teens.

A throwback to the slasher decade, the horror comedy Deer Camp ’86 upends that architecture, making the hunters the protagonists — not necessarily a change for the better. Here, five friends head to the woods to slay bucks and does, but risk getting slain themselves by a Native American spirit noted for its skull visage and Predator-esque clicks.

From first-time director L. Van Dyke Siboutszen, Deer Camp ’86 reminded me of the screen outings of the Broken Lizard troupe, in all the positives and negatives that comparison brings. On the plus side, that includes a willingness to “go there” without care of offending; conversely, they “go there” without knowing what to do with it.

Its humor is largely predicated upon two obnoxious varieties: gotta-take-a-shit and fucked-your-sister. Hanging over the telling of these jokes is an air of obliviousness at how unfunny the jokes are. Whenever neophyte scripters Bo Hansen and Riley Taurus place a sequence at bat with potential for inspired craziness, they fail to pay it off.

Nothing embodies the movie’s consistent swing-and-a-miss run than the extreme close-up of a tick burrowed into a hunter’s testicle. What happens? The parasitic arachnid is simply plucked from the nut; the entirety of the gag is that a ball sack fills the frame. All in all, hardly worth stuffing to mount on your den’s wall. —Rod Lott

Get it at Amazon.

Jim Haggerty’s Grave Danger (2009)

Poor Becky. After walking for the length of the entire opening credits to her apartment, hopes for R&R get decimated by a phone call from an unnamed man who wants to tell her some “scary stories” and says she’s in … grave danger!

And also she’s in Jim Haggerty’s Grave Danger, a no-budget, shot-on-video anthology from the New York-based moviemaker whose name adorns the title. Not exactly the cachet of Tyler Perry, but perhaps a PSA of sorts, lest someone thinks they’re renting Quentin Tarantino’s CSI two-parter.

In the first story, paranoid Victor (Jae Mosc) believes he’s being followed by a tuxedoed chap, whom no one else sees. Becky’s reaction to this tale o’ terror? “Yes, it scared me. It was scary. Okay, is that what you want? Yes, it scared me.”

Then, there’s Carol (Kate Webster), who buys a gaudy tribal statuette that entrances her into donning lingerie and seducing deliverymen, only to kill them.

Thirdly and finally, Abe (Bud Stafford, The Putt Putt Syndrome) is a washed-up ventriloquist struggling to afford meds for his ailing wife (Kaye Bramblett, Squeeze Play). When a birthday party gig stiffs him on payment, Phineas extracts the debt in blood. Phineas is his dummy, BTW.

Oh, in between those vignettes, the caller (Jonathan Holtzman, Sweet, Sweet Lonely Girl) convinces Becky (Debbie Kopacz) to undress to nothing. She complies.

Needless to say, none of Grave Danger qualifies as scary, outside of characters’ goombah pronunciations like “PAH-k,” “TAH-k” and “re-TAHD” for, respectively, “park,” “talk” and, well, let’s not get canceled. It needs a fourth story in which Haggerty explains how he convinces all these women — friends? family? apartment complex neighbors? — to take off all their clothes for, what, maybe $20 and free cardboard pizza?

Strangely, the one who doesn’t is top-billed Cathy St. George, erstwhile Playboy Playmate for August 1982, as Dr. Geraldine Masters, which I take as a reference to Don’t Look in the Basement. —Rod Lott

Get it at Amazon.

The Mouse Trap (2024)

Monday, Jan. 1, 2024 — a date which will live in infamy — the original version of Mickey Mouse scampered into the public domain. And enterprising filmmaker Simon Phillips was ready, dropping a trailer for the slasher flick Mickey’s Mouse Trap.

Now simply titled The Mouse Trap, it borrows the Star Wars crawl to deliver a disclaimer erring on the side of the caution, lest someone confuse this for actual Walt Disney Company product. With this Mickey teleporting and stabbing, how could they?

At the FunHaven arcade, the manager (Phillips) forces Alex (Sophie McIntosh, The Sacrifice Game) to work late on her 21st birthday for a party that’s rented out the place. Turns out, it’s for Alex — a pretty shitty thing for her “friends” to do, if you ask me. They kick off a night of sex, drugs and Skee-Ball — all spoiled by the Mickey-masked manager, who kills them one by one … and sometimes by two, somehow hiding within a space that isn’t exactly a labyrinth.

Why become such a fun-killer? If Phillips knows, his script doesn’t show it. As far as I could muster, it’s because the manager spills a drink on a frayed cord of a film projector loaded with Mickey’s debut cartoon, Steamboat Willie, thereby transforming him into a homicidal maniac. I suppose that could happen, question mark.

Unlike the similar Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey, the movie is watchable, with Deinfluencer director Jamie Bailey giving it more of the rhythms that resemble a “real” film. Also unlike Blood and Honey, in a select few spots, it approaches fun. (One of them: Asked whether she’s ever seen a horror movie, a young woman answers, “No, Marcus, I have a sex life!”)

But very much like Blood and Honey, The Mouse Trap is first and foremost a rushed-out cash grab, existing only to exploit Disney’s copyright loss before anyone else could, quality be damned. Another commonality the two flicks share: just ending without an ending. While I get the curiosity factor, this chunk of cheese isn’t worth taking the bait. —Rod Lott

Get it at Amazon.

Trap House (2023)

Meth makers of America, c’mon: If you’re so paranoid that you’ve rigged your drug den with, say, a door tied to trigger a shotgun, maybe make sure the head it blows off doesn’t belong to the brother of a short-fused cop?

That’s advice from Flick Attack. First one’s free, kid.

Because if you don’t, here’s what happens: Trap House, motherfucker! Police detective Grant Pierce (Jaime M. Callica, 2021’s Hypnotic) is that cop — so fierce, he has the mystery of his dead sibling solved by minute 7. It’s the doing of the gas-masked man Lethan (Bruce Crawford, Alter), who cooks up crank in an abandoned slaughterhouse.

To dissuade authorities, thieves and basic lookie-loos, Lethan and his foxy partner (Gigi Saul Guerrero, V/H/S/85) have fashioned the place into a veritable Temple of Doom! Consider such booby-trapped built-in features as:
• a glue floor
• a room full of broken glass
• swinging cinder blocks
• spiked ceilings
• bear traps in the hallway
• mousetraps in the air ducts
• jets of scalding steam
• an invisible fence
• and more!

Aiding Pierce in his penetration of Lethan’s lair are a teenage dealer named Dibs (Peter Bundic, Netflix’s Chilling Adventures of Sabrina), a terrifying skinhead (a bonkers Michael Eklund, 2014’s Poker Night) and a couple other tweakers who exist for the sole purpose of allowing director Nicholas Humphries (2014’s Death Do Us Part) to demonstrate the aforementioned amenities.

Let’s not pretend that anyone watches Trap House for any other reason than to see the house do some trapping. It certainly was mine. (It sure wasn’t for crackerjack background dialogue like “Oh, man, I’m high.”) Blood and gore aside, it plays like series television, but for a testosterone-laced slice of Sawsploitation, one can do much worse.

Hell, for a “Tubi original,” one can do much, much worse. Humphries keeps this one watchable and, perhaps inadvertently, closed-captioning readable; as Pierce is pursued by addicts moving en masse like cannibal zombies, “[junkies grumbling]” appears as a subtitle — my new favorite subtitle, that is. —Rod Lott

Get it at Amazon.