All posts by Rod Lott

Body Chemistry 4: Full Exposure (1995)

bodychem4In Body Chemistry 4: Full Exposure, sultry TV producer turned shady murder suspect Dr. Claire Archer (Shannon Tweed, Hot Dog … The Movie) decides to check out the legal briefs of her married lawyer, Simon Mitchell (Larry Poindexter, American Ninja 2: The Confrontation), in hopes of helping her case.

To get on his good side, she gives him an oral examination in his office’s break room. With him completely won over by her well-timed arguments, they do a little gavel-bashing atop a car in a parking garage, in an elevator, on a pool table and on his own dining room table, where people eat. Even a whole bottle of Pledge wouldn’t mask that evidence.

bodychem41Thoroughly routine among erotic thrillers of the 1990s (Tweed’s character likes to hump? Who’da guessed?), this entry from director Jim Wynorski (Sorority House Massacre II) also has the misfortune of allowing Tweed’s six-time co-star Andrew Stevens to show up briefly as his character from the previous year’s Body Chemistry III. Tweed, however, is new to the Roger Corman-birthed franchise, taking over the role from Shari Shattuck, who took it over from Lisa Pescia.

Also making a return appearance? Fake breasts. (To clarify, Stevens’ are real.) —Ed Donovan

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Flight 7500 (2014)

flight7500No offense is meant to Leslie Bibb, a genial actress with bona fide comedic flair (from Talladega Nights to Hell Baby), but she looks as if she were genetically engineered to play a flight attendant. Her striking, all-American features combine for the kind of friendly face commercial air carriers look for when employing ambassadors for beverage service at 37,000 feet. While Bibb’s Laura may be an ideal hire for the fictional Vista Pacific Airlines, she cannot save Flight 7500 from interminable boredom. The film is flawed from its initial taxi down the runway.

Passengers board a red-eye flight that will take them from Los Angeles to Tokyo … or at least that’s the intent. With air travel, so many variables loom as threats: severe weather, mechanical failure and, if your movie’s director is Japanese, a high probability of a supernatural haunting. With The Grudge’s Takashi Shimizu in the proverbial cockpit here, the latter is at play: an invisible force that chokes the life out of frequent fliers in the most predictable and detaching ways.

flight75001One wonders if Shimizu and screenwriter Craig Rosenberg (2009’s The Uninvited, an underrated spooker) have attempted to imbue this routine horror film with a statement on the state of the modern marriage in these United States. Consider that Laura is playing “Coffee, tea or me?” with the married pilot (Jonathon Schaech, The Legend of Hercules), and that the other four main characters are either in a dissolved union (Crank’s Amy Smart and Knights of Badassdom’s Ryan Kwanten) or newly part of one already doomed to collapse (Hall Pass’ Nicky Whelan and Entourage’s Jerry Ferrara).

Or at least I wondered that, because the movie failed to grab me, and when it comes to horror, I’m a fairly easy lay. It’s no wonder Flight 7500 took four years to land a stateside release on DVD, after originally being made for theaters. While Shimizu is a competent filmmaker, this elicits not even a fraction of the fear of his greatest hit (or hits, plural, if you lump in his own remake). While welcome, the ending succeeds only in insulting its audience, followed by an unscary jump scare that doesn’t even make sense within the story’s timeline. —Rod Lott

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The Caped Crusade: Batman and the Rise of Nerd Culture

capedcrusadeShrewdly timed to the theatrical release of Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, Glen Weldon’s The Caped Crusade: Batman and the Rise of Nerd Culture takes longer to consume, yet provides far more entertainment. A companion of sorts to his 2013 tome on the Man of Steel, the book excels as a work of cultural history … provided you can overlook the whiplash appearances of the occasional stuffy phrase (“slyphs in organza gowns”) and dropping of hipster lingo (“mansplaining”).

The book traces the Dark Knight’s “life,” from his 1939 “birth” in Detective Comics #27 to anchoring several DC Comics titles today. With the exacting fervor of someone who may consider The Overstreet Comic Book Price Guide as “light reading,” Weldon details Batman’s many, many changes with the times and trends along the way — not just as a four-color character, but one who has leapt beyond the page to infiltrate the media of radio, television and, of course, the movies.

In comparing the Batman co-created by Bill Finger and liar/thief Bob Kane to the Batman of the 1966 camp television series to the Batman of Frank Miller’s 1986 revisionist graphic novel to the Batman of Christopher Nolan’s brooding film trilogy — to say nothing of all the Batmans in between, including Joel Schumacher’s much-reviled “urban-landscape-as-roller-disco” BatmanThe Caped Crusade wildly succeeds. You’ll learn, for example, of an era in which your justice-seeker absolutely used guns and killed people, even on purpose.

Less successfully, Weldon attempts to couch this history of Gotham City’s No. 1 crime fighter as being congruent with the ascent of “nerd culture” from something the mainstream derides to something it now embraces. It’s a theory I’m not 100% subscribed to, and his endless, binary talk of “normals” and “nerds” sends my buy-in down a few notches with each chapter. Still, it makes for interesting reading nonetheless, which is exactly what you hope and expect from such a book, and he is not so beholden to his love of/for comics as to deny that their storylines have grown ridiculously dense.

batman1966By and large, Weldon is a fun writer to read, especially when he lets his considerable wit off the chain, whether referring to Boy Wonder sidekick Robin as “achingly kidnappable” or describing Adam West’s line delivery on the aforementioned 1960s TV program — and subsequent cash-in film — as being riddled with “pauses that are not merely pregnant but two weeks overdue.” (Even the footnotes are playful.) The sheer amount of times the author refers to something as “kinda gay” would be troubling if Weldon weren’t gay himself; however, this fact will go unnoticed unless one pays attention to the acknowledgments at the book’s end or has heard him mention his husband on NPR’s Pop Culture Happy Hour podcast.

Which brings us to the book’s elephant-in-the-room caveat: If you have been or currently are a listener of that podcast, for which Weldon appears almost weekly as one of its primary hosts, it is impossible to read The Caped Crusade without hearing his voice in your head. Personally, that’s a negative, as his speaking method strikes me as so overly scripted and prepared to a fault, he often comes off as that smug know-it-all who, enabled by the rush of liquor to his bloodstream, corners people at parties and proceeds to cheerlead his own pomposity via $10 words. It’s not endearing.

And yet, like mines on a battlefield, you never know when his prose will unleash a vocabulary bomb that speaks above his target audience: agar, prolix, Derridean, caesurae, augured, febrile, noisome, tincture, bathetic, mesomorphic, abstruse, eschatological, elide, caromed, biliousness. Worse, several others appear multiple times: fealty, bolus, anodyne, gouaches, Sisyphean, lingua franca, mien, evince, gewgaws. Geegaws! That’s a word so goofy and cringe-inducing, it should only be uttered by preschoolers attempting to get the attention of their grandmother.

I mean, once you’ve read the cowled subject described as “po-faced,” “laconic” and “badass” for the third or fourth time, you understandably ache for a little variety. After all, there is nothing wrong with “disapproving,” “terse” or “intimidating,” is there? Holy Roget, Batman! —Rod Lott

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Killer Force (1975)

killerforceKiller Force is a slightly off-kilter heist picture, primarily because of its setting: the middle of a South African desert, with nothing but sand dunes for miles around all sides of the Syndicated Diamond Corporation. Some precious, uncut stones worth $20 million are targeted for thievin’ by a gang of criminals, and they need an inside man to help pull it off. Perhaps even one sleeping with a co-worker’s daughter (Octopussy herself, Maud Adams, never sexier).

That man is Bradley (Peter Fonda, Ghost Rider), SDC’s second-in-command of security. The wisenheimer works under the tyrannical rule of Webb (a truly menacing Telly Savalas, On Her Majesty’s Secret Service), who’s such a jerk that it makes Bradley’s decision to aid the dark side that much easier. Whereas director and co-writer Val Guest (The Quatermass Xperiment) depicts that allegiance swing too quickly, it does keep Killer Force moving along — well and consistently, until the mano y mano finale.

killerforce1I’m uncertain if the title refers to Webb’s bullying, under-my-thumb employment tactics or the dirty quarter-dozen of heist hatchers. It’s led by Simon Cowell look-alike Hugh O’Brian (1965’s Ten Little Indians), clad in manly neckerchief. His mercenary underlings are more notable, in that they’re played by Hammer legend Christopher Lee and double murderer O.J. Simpson. The latter can’t act, but damn, the dude can run! And, a terrific Fonda hero aside, that foot Juice is really all something as compact as this dynamite AIP release needs. —Rod Lott

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Gurozuka (2005)

gurozukaWhile not all J-horror entries are required to be compared to Hideo Nakata’s massively influential Ringu (remade for Yanks as The Ring, of course), it’s nigh impossible to discuss Yôichi Nishiyama’s Gurozuka without drawing the comparison. With automatic thanks to a rumored videotape on which the narrative must hinge, the similarities are too strong, ultimately to this film’s detriment.

With an all-female cast, the imported spookshow follows two high school groups collaborating on a project for class: the Movie Club, all two members of it, and the Drama Club, more popular since it numbers a big, fat three. Virtually doubling as cliques, both clubs can be defined by their members’ behavior toward others: respectively, goody-two-shoes and snooty bitches. With teacher Ms. Yoko as their chaperone, the nice girls and mean girls venture deep into the woods to shoot an improvisational film. Looking not unlike an Asian Sarah Palin, Ms. Yoko (Yûko Itô, Bubble Fiction: Boom or Bust) is despised by the girls, who suspect she is having an improper relationship with Takako (Nozomi Andô, Tomie: Forbidden Fruit), the strange and silent pupil tagging along for this field trip.

gurozuka1Mind you, the above paragraph delivers far more background than Nishiyama needs to give his audience, other than to set up Takako as a social outcast and, therefore, a de facto red herring. The real story kicks in at the abandoned lodge in which they stay, because that’s where the Movie Clubbers stumble upon the creepy Super 8 footage that serves as the Zapruder film in Gurozuka’s world: a legendary reel depicting — or capturing, hmmm? — a woman in a demon mask slicing up her “co-star”: a fellow student of the schoolgirls who never was heard from again.

Furthermore, this found footage reportedly was shot on the lodge grounds … yet with this being a horror film, “reportedly” can be jettisoned. That demon woman still sports that undeniably unsettling mask and still grasps that same sharp implement and, yep, still remains on-site. I wish there were more to the flick than that, but — as is the case with the majority of J-horror movies — predictability reigns supreme. That’s not to say Gurozuka can’t be enjoyed half-heartedly, provided expectations are cut into simplified fractions; it helps that 84 minutes is all Nishiyama asks of your time for a work so reliant on the ideas of other films before it, including a scene lifted wholesale from Sam Raimi’s The Evil Dead. (Domo arigato, Samuel.) —Rod Lott

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