All posts by Rod Lott

The Treasure of Jamaica Reef (1974)

Underwater photography is the true star of The Treasure of Jamaica Reef, a pleasingly tame action-adventure about San Diego professionals who quit their day jobs to go hunting for rumored sunken gold in the Caribbean. The guys are played by The Oscar’s Stephen Boyd, future MGM exec David Ladd and a Wolfman Jack-bearded Chuck Woolery, right before achieving fame on the tube as the host of a new game show called Wheel of Fortune. Rounding out the quartet is a feisty blonde named Zappy (Cheryl Ladd, then Stoppelmoor and three years from joining Charlie’s Angels).

First-time director Virginia L. Stone (Run If You Can) takes an A-to-Z, near-documentary approach on getting our heroes to the ocean — for example, showing them negotiating to buy an old truck shaped like a wine barrel. Along the way they meet surfer-dude teen Darby (Darby Hinton, Malibu Express), who aids them in a chase in which Zappy hangs onto the luggage rack of a thief’s speeding car, and teddy-bear boat captain Rosey Grier (Skyjacked), who does not.

By the time the team is piloting small-prop planes and surveying the ocean floor from the comfort of a glass-bottomed raft, it hit me: The Treasure of Jamaica Reef plays as if based on the Fisher-Price Adventure People toy line, perhaps from a 9-year-old’s thunked-up outline. It’s certainly that sexless, with Mrs. Ladd in not only an overly modest bikini, but the same bikini day to day to day. As her character’s name hints, Zappy is presented as more kid sister than sex object, with Stone’s camera more interested in what lies beneath sea level. Unlike most B movies, Reef’s underwater footage is neither muddy, stock nor faked, so at the very least, viewers can appreciate local flavor galore.

When Jaws busted blocks the next year, the producers presumably kicked themselves for not having sharks in their film. Wrangling Boyd back, they shot bookends that graft a new plot of a cursed treasure map, and added some gore, some sex and, most importantly, some sharks. The resulting waterlogged mess was rechristened Evil in the Deep. No word if, per the poster, anyone’s nerves were ripped to shreds, but the 2.0 ending is an absolute hoot. —Rod Lott

Get it at Amazon.

The Death of Ocean View Park (1979)

Whenever the golden age of disaster movies is discussed, 1977’s Rollercoaster often gets mentioned, which is weird, because it’s not a disaster movie. Perhaps people are confusing it with The Death of Ocean View Park? Although both were shot at Virginia’s real-life Ocean View Amusement Park, only the film sharing that name counts, beginning with a hurricane and ending with explosions aplenty.

Made for ABC prime time, The Death of Ocean View Park casts Mike Connors (Too Scared to Scream) as Sam Jackson (!), second-gen manager and one-time owner of the titular theme park now belonging to money-hungry developer Tom Flood. Played by Meteor man Martin Landau in full Murray Hamilton mode, Flood’s not about to let a little tropical hurricane and all its after-effects put the kibosh on Ocean View’s big Fourth of July event — for God’s sake, he’s already booked the Bee Gees!

But Jackson’s just Got a Feeling, which telepic director extraordinaire E.W. Swackhamer (Terror at London Bridge) accentuates more than once with a pan or cut to a “GAS LINE” sign posted at ground level of The Rocket. That’s the park’s coaster: 50 years old, wooden, rickety, shaky AF and, come Act 3, containing his new girlfriend (Caroline McWilliams, TV’s Benson) as a reluctant rider — what could possibly go wrong?

Meanwhile, the cotton candy counter’s ugly-duckling attendant (Geostorm’s Mare Winningham) is wooed by a socially super-awkward Navy sailor on shore leave (Alligator’s Perry Lang) just so the movie can strand them toward the Ferris wheel’s tippy-top for the climax. Elsewhere, one employee’s pregnant wife (Diana Canova, TV’s Soap) starts having terrifying nightmares and daytime visions of full-blown panic at the park, which her hub (James Stephens, Mysterious Two) coldly dismisses as the result of “sausage and onion pizza,” just so the movie can call him in on his day off — and, therefore, in mortal danger — to fix what is apparently the park’s only popcorn machine!

The precog subplot sticks out for having nowhere to go beyond the obvious foreshadowing and inspiring the plot of Final Destination 3. It also wrongly puts the viewer in the frame of mind to accept supernatural forces at play. A subsequent scene admits as much by suggesting the park has a mind of its own, as a few boys sneak in one night for an after-hours joy ride that goes wildly berserk — yet that angle is abandoned right then and there.

No worries, folks, all the movie’s machinations are the work of Mother Nature and her Physics 101 syllabus, and Swackhamer saves the biggest for last as the park is destroyed — hardly a spoiler since the name of the film promises just that. In real life, the aforementioned wooden coaster was set to be demolished, so Playboy Productions had a movie written around that. (Yes, that Playboy, although you wouldn’t know it; the only concession to Hef’s Playboy Philosophy is a beauty contest of swimsuited ladies Jackson is tasked with judging.)

To witness the Rocket basically take its own name to heart is impressive — the kind of production value any cost-conscious project would skirt union rules to get. And not only that, but unlike amusement parks nowadays, it’s a lot of fun. —Rod Lott

Get it at dvdrparty.

Night of the Bloody Transplant (1970)

Flint, Michigan’s renowned coronary specialist, Dr. James Arnold (Cal Seely), could be having a better week. The international medical community is skeptical of his research into heart transplants. His molasses-slow elderly benefactor, Mrs. Woodruff (Roz Kramer), is threatening to freeze funds if she doesn’t see results before her heart sputters out. And back home, his coulda-been-a-contender brother, Tom Arnold (!), is allowing his rentable tramps to raid the doc’s liquor cabinet.

Things look up when Tom (Dick Grimm) accidentally kills some broad, giving Dr. Arnold a chance to take that girl’s ticker and give it to Mrs. Woodruff. Cue the title: Night of the Bloody Transplant, which we see in about two minutes of footage of an actual open-heart surgery. Never mind that it doesn’t match; how a 20-something woman suddenly has the chest of an 80-year-old man is not on director David W. Hanson’s mind.

What is, one assumes, is stealing wholesale from Mexico’s then-recent Night of the Bloody Apes and hitting the magical feature-length mark. With no working knowledge of plot, Hanson (whose only other pic is sexploitation’s Judy) packs a whole lot of nothing into 71 minutes, with such filmed-in-full bar entertainments as several crooned songs, body-painting performance art and a hoochie-coochie striptease down to the pasties.

Although a few scene transitions verge on cleverness, Hanson has little business operating a camera, just as his all-amateur cast has no business standing in front of one. Given its nonexistent sound mix and predominance of wood paneling, Transplant reeks of smut, but isn’t. More crime film than horror, it also isn’t on the level of Herschell Gordon Lewis, following the man’s low-budget template of gore, but ignoring the knowing sense of humor that usually overcame all technical deficiencies. —Rod Lott

Get it at Amazon.

Sweet Home (1989)

Although the remote Mamiya mansion has been abandoned and off limits for 30 years, a Tokyo TV crew talks its way into gaining access for a documentary. The crew members insist the spacious, foreboding structure contains a lost mural by its former resident, the famed painter Mamiya Ichiro. Proving themselves correct, they immediately begin restoring the dusty wall of art to its former greatness, and in so doing, awaken dark spirits who never left the grounds — you know the kind: flowing dark hair and all.

With such concessions made for its homeland audience, writer/director Kiyoshi Kurosawa’s Sweet Home is a Japanese take on the American haunted house film. From Robert Wise’s suggestive shadows to Steven Spielberg’s Tobe Hooper’s more malevolent forces, Kurosawa (Creepy) builds upon trope after trope to provide shock after shock.

As the title suggests, Kurosawa employs the horror genre to examine society’s modern fractured family — in particular, the role of the mother as caregiver. Among the TV team, the producer (Shingo Yamashiro, Karate Inferno) is a single father who’s brought along his precocious daughter (pop singer Nokko, in her only feature credit), who’s pushing him to admit his attraction to a fellow crew member (Nobuko Miyamoto, Tampopo). On the Mamiya side, we learn the painter’s wife accidentally killed their toddler, who happened to be playing in the furnace when Mommy fired it up; hence, the hauntings.

But no worry necessary: Sweet Home is not some term paper on matriarchal dichotomy that’s been committed to celluloid; it’s a horror movie first, foremost and even second and third. Someone is bisected parallel to the waistline, while someone else takes an ax to the head, right between the eyes. And all the grisliness is brought to an in-camera believability with practical makeup effects by the legendary Dick Smith (The Exorcist), whose command of the craft is best exemplified by a character’s dissolution into a literal pile of bones.

Because it has yet to see an official release in the United States, Sweet Home is best known for its eponymous video game, developed in lockstep, which went on to inspire the multimedia juggernaut we know as Resident Evil. Credit where credit is due and all, but Sweet Home deserves global acknowledgment for its own worth, not insignificant. —Rod Lott

Death Car on the Freeway (1979)

Between the first two Smokey and the Bandit movies, Hal Needham directed one of network television’s more memorably titled prime-time pics: Death Car on the Freeway.

To clear up any potential viewer confusion, it begins with a death car on the freeway: a blue van, in fact, with windows tinted to ensure the driver remains anonymous. With murderous intent and an 8-track tape blasting what sounds like electric bluegrass music playing at double speed, the van runs a little Honda off the 405, nearly killing the bit-part actress behind the wheel (Morgan Brittany, The Initiation of Sarah) and definitely making her late for her 8 a.m. call on Barnaby Jones.

No worries, California: KXLA anchorwoman Jan Clausen (Shelley Hack, two weeks after her debut episode of Charlie’s Angels) is on the case! Repped by Peter Graves, the cops assemble the hilariously named Fiddler Task Force, but the so-called Freeway Fiddler keeps at his work in terrorizing women drivers, all in broad (no pun intended) daylight.

Victims include tennis pro Dinah Shore, who survives, and Night Killer’s Tara Buckman, who does not. Jan’s investigation takes her to the Street Phantoms biker club, where Sid Haig, ever the genial host, shames their leader into offering her a soda. Other familiar faces among Death Car on the Freeway’s cast of “Cameo Stars,” as the credits put it, are Frank Gorshin as Jan’s boss, George Hamilton’s as Jan’s ex and Abe Vigoda, who just sits in a hospital bed.

Needham’s direction may be unimaginative, but most of the driving stunts are terrific, which is really all that’s called for. Suspense is hampered less by Needham’s hand than the surprisingly clumsy editing by Frank Morriss, who expertly cut Steven Spielberg’s Duel, which this telepic does its damndest to resemble without investing much effort. —Rod Lott

Get it at dvdrparty.