All posts by Rod Lott

Time Travel Is Dangerous! (2024)

For a few years — or thousands, if you choose to look at it that way — besties Ruth and Megan have stocked their London thrift store with antiques and antiquities purloined with the help of a time machine. It looks like a pimped-out bumper car. They didn’t invent the gizmo; they found it outside discarded near the trash bins. 

What they don’t know — but soon learn — is time travel is dangerous. (It’s even the name of the movie, look: Time Travel Is Dangerous! See?) In actuality, they don’t know much. “We’re not scientifically minded,” says Ruth (Ruth Syratt), attempting to explain their find and how it works. “I’d say it’s a wormhole, but I don’t know what a wormhole is.”

Shot handheld, The Office-style, as a mockumentary, Chris Reading’s film resists doing the expected to forge its own whacked path. Any other comedy with this premise would follow Ruth and Megan (Megan Stevenson) on their unusual shopping trips through an entire history book’s worth of countries and eras, but Reading relegates that to a montage or two. The real story is how their ruse is discovered by its gobsmacked inventor (Brian Bovell of Robert Zemeckis’ The Witches), how they manage to function when banned from using the machine (they don’t) and the consequences of breaking their promise. 

In British comedy tradition, humor is sandpaper-dry and droll in a manner so confident in itself, it verges on cozy. These things usually do not click with me — see (or don’t, really) 2005’s The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, also narrated by Stephen Fry, incidentally — yet I was bought-in by the first scene. That’s all due to the winning duo of Stevenson and Syratt.

In real life, they actually run the ChaChaCha vintage store serving as Time Travel’s home base. Neither woman appears to be an actress, yet both are funny and indelibly deadpan, with a chemistry so potent, it can’t be manufactured. Reading really struck gold with this pair, so naturally, when the third act separates the characters, the movie’s juice starts to sour. I’d watch a TV series of them just hanging out in their shop, no sci-fi (or any type of fi) necessary. —Rod Lott

Get it at Amazon.

Home Movie (2008)

Through camcorder footage, Home Movie follows the foibles of the Poe family from Halloween to Easter. Shortly after moving to their wooded Connecticut home, Claire (celebrated soap star Cady McClain) and David (Adrian Pasdar, House of Frankenstein 1997) notice their children (real-life siblings Austin and Emily Joy Williams) aren’t acting like their usual selves.

Like how, you ask? Like throwing rocks. Like not using their words. Like … well, as Claire records on her video diary, “Yesterday morning, the 25th of December … Christmas … Jack and Emily crucified the family cat.” Ho-ho-holy shit, kids!

That’s small stuff compared to the rest. Although Shutter Island actor Christopher Denham’s first feature as writer and director breaks no ground, especially for the found-footage subgenre, he does two things really right. The first is how differently Claire and David — respectively, a child psychologist and a pastor — approach possible solutions to their offspring’s disturbing behavior: She hopes to prescribe an answer; he spritzes holy water and shouts commands at imagined demons.

And the second is how Denham doesn’t wuss out on taking his established dark path to its logical end, making the down and dirty Home Movie mean-spirited in the best of ways. The last 15 minutes are something else, with a final shot dripping in hand-wringing eeeevilllll. It almost makes up for Pasdar’s Annoying Dad with No Off Switch routine, what with his silly voices, cartoon accents and more fart talk than the annual convention of the American College of Gastroenterology. —Rod Lott

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Delusion (1981)

No sooner has live-in nurse Meredith Stone (Patricia Pearcy, Squirm) joined the payroll of cranky old paraplegic inventor Mr. Langrock (Joseph Cotten, Shadow of a Doubt) than she’s told only a single room of his estate is off-limits. Specifically, the one that’s locked up. The same one she spotted someone in, standing at its window, upon her arrival via Yellow Cab. The one she should never, ever enter under any circumstances whatsoever. 

“Ooh, how Gothic: a locked room!” coos a minor character played by Death Race 2000’s Simone Griffeth, and she’s not wrong. But whereas most movies of this ilk would spin such a setup across three dark and stormy acts, Delusion unlocks that riddle in its first 15 minutes, which is to say of course Meredith enters the room.

The real mystery kicks in after Mr. Langrock’s teen grandson (Jaws 2’s John Dukakis, son of Michael) arrives from being raised on a commune. That’s when people at the estate start to die, in classic whodunit fashion. Certainly a kid so far removed from society that he doesn’t recognize a skateboard must be the culprit, right?

Unassuming in nature (especially when shorn of its alternate, oxymoronic title, The House Where Death Lives), Delusion is two-thirds Agatha Christie, one-third Michael Myers and all-around quietly nifty, marking a promising debut for director Alan Beattie. However, some of its advantages might be accidental. For example, the abode’s small doorways lend a discomforting, cramped feel … but that’s how the house was built. For another, the main actors’ unfamiliarity to viewers (the legendary Cotten excepted) mean audiences’ preconceived notions can’t apply … likely a budgetary necessity than a calculated play.

Supporting my theory, the only other movie Beattie helmed, Stand Alone, is as formulaic as you’d expect from a mid-’80s Death Wish imitation. That sophomore slump lacks the well-constructed script first-timer Jack Viertel delivered for Delusion: tense and peculiar, with the kind of kink Brian De Palma would’ve maximized for a field day of a film. Strange that Viertel never wrote another movie, abandoning La-La Land for enormous success on the Great White Way.

Most cruelly, Pearcy doesn’t waste her leading-lady opportunity, yet her face hasn’t graced a screen any larger than a television — a mystery in itself. —Rod Lott

Get it at Amazon.

Bunny (2025)

Happy birthday, Bunny! To celebrate, your boo, Bobbie, has bought you a threesome and some Molly. But that’s a package you don’t have time to open, what with the one you’re trying to keep closed around the cops: that suitcase packed with a bad guy’s folded corpse.

Played by a heretofore unknown Mo Stark, Bunny is a hustler in New York’s East Village. And Bunny is a shaggy comedy of errors that captures 12 hot and hectic hours in a melting-pot microcosm of a tenement. The film is a streetwise farce of slamming doors and unforgiving stairwells among potheads and sex workers, like if Sean Baker adapted Noises Off.

In his directorial debut, the person actually behind the camera is in front of it, too: Ben Jacobson (Blink Twice), who plays Bunny’s fast-talking best bud — so close, they sport matching promotional Basketball Diaries jerseys. Plus, this is the first feature screenplay for Jacobson, Stark and Stefan Marolachakis, making it all the more remarkable the film is able to sustain a relentless pace and impeccable comic timing.

Their jokes aren’t setup/punchline — just so sharp and knowing, they take you by surprise. For example, to an ultra-orthodox room renter (scene stealer Genevieve Hudson-Price, HBO’s The Deuce), Bunny assures her of his Jewish bona fides: “Yeah, my mother was, Bobbie’s father [is], I love Albert Brooks …” Several other lines seem destined for immortality due to their quotability, none more launch-ready than “I do love a good Smashburger!” (Trust me: It works wonders in context.)

None of Bunny would work if the characters weren’t believably authentic. Essentially, Jacobson and Stark have made a Real Movie with all their friends, and it shows. Not in the usual way of, “Well, at least it looks like they had fun” — although that, too, is true — but in they understood how to use nearly everyone in just the right part, at just the right moments, for just the right dose. (It all feels so genuine, I didn’t even recognize Mission: Impossible’s Henry Czerny in his brief role as a rabbi making house calls.) I’d say Jacobson and Stark delight in moving the many characters around a chessboard, but it’s evident they prefer to mischievously tip said chessboard to watch all the pieces slide and struggle and smooth-talk their way back into good graces.

So their ending is a bit too quick, too pat, too easily resolved. To echo a character’s statement in those closing moments, haven’t they earned it? —Rod Lott

Get it at Amazon.

Safety First: The Rise of Women! (2008)

Purportedly a spoof of corporate training videos, Safety First: The Rise of Women! looks at the peculiar predicaments faced by attractive women who work in skyscrapers in California. That’s awfully specific. And Safety First is specifically awful.

Over and over for 50 agonizing, mishmashed minutes, ostensible writer/director Greg McDonald exhibits an imbecilic sense of humor to depict how those females should respond in various life-or-death situations, from medical emergencies to natural disasters. Most of what pass as punchlines can be paraphrased as, “ROFL, women have boobies! And they bounce, whaaaaaaat!”

Not a second of it qualifies as funny, but that doesn’t stop McDonald from thinking all of it is. Quite possibly, the scenarios are crowdsourced from a seventh-grade gym class.

For instance, trapped in an elevator? Just imagine you’re at a private beach, so you can rip open your blouse and clutch dem titties. Should an earthquakes occur, ensure your prep kit is stocked with dildos of unusual size, and be prepared for your hanging breasts to shake and shake and shake. And in case of fire, getting oxygen is of utmost importance, so doff that bra before running down the stairs — and don’t forget to breathe through your diaphragm. (Re: that last advice nugget, you get one guess what the woman places over her mouth to demonstrate.)

Although tit and dick jokes rule The Rise’s low-bar roost, not every gag involves erogenous zones. Why, in the segment on bomb threats, a woman gets the upper hand by covering her opponent’s eyes with two Forever stamps (the original Liberty Bell design, for any curious philatelists).

Woe be to the actresses, strip club performers and other ladies who deigned to appear in Safety First: The Rise of Women! They’re front and center, while McDonald gets to hide not only behind his video camera, but also a “Mac Kelly” pseudonym, as he ADD-edits his way through go-go dances, catfights, cloth dummies, disembodied limbs, lesbian couplings, goat milkings, hula hooping, iMovie explosions and male rape by a Village Person (the fireman, for any curious cosplayers). On the list of things to watch before you die, Safety First should come in last. —Rod Lott

Get it at Amazon.