In the department of sexual relations, Mike (Michael Stearns, Battle for the Planet of the Apes) has quite a hang-up: “When a man climbs on top of a woman, she becomes ugly.” (Oh, Mike, you’re doing it all wrong.) He takes out his frustration the only way he knows: through the crosshairs of a high-powered rifle!

Zero in and Scream follows Mike as he shoots his way through the Hollywood hills. His targets? Couples in the middle of, um, coupling. This has all the makings of a twisted little thriller, but director Lee Frost (The Thing with Two Heads) is really only interested in the sex, so au revoir, thrills.

Mike spends a great deal of time soaking in the all-nude dancing at a fleabag bar named The Classic Cat, where he takes a shine to the stripper Susan (Donna Young, one of Al Adamson’s Naughty Stewardesses). Susan invites him to a party at her groovy pad, where Mike watches all the other guests have all kinds of foreplay and intercourse in the (hopefully heavily chlorinated) pool. He gets so hot and bothered as a mere spectator that he drives up the hill in order to put the shindig to an end … with a bullet! (Party foul!)

But Lordy, it seems to take forever for anything of interest to happen in the hour-long Zero — namely, Mike zeroing in. Watching the softcore shenanigans is so dull, you’ll feel Mike’s pain; you’ll want him to pull the trigger well before one of the pool humpers does. —Rod Lott

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