Someone Behind the Door (1971)

After so much post-Psycho typecasting, it’s downright refreshing to see Anthony Perkins playing someone nice and normal in Someone Behind the Door. In the obscure thriller, he’s a timid, crippled florist threatened by the — oh, who’m I kidding? I can’t pull one over on you! He’s so totally bonkers! Again!

Perkins is Dr. Laurence Jeffries, a brilliant brain surgeon whose latest patient is known to us only as “the stranger” (Charles Bronson). That’s because he’s a total amnesiac. Jeffries performs research on the stranger, but not the kind for which physicians are awarded massive grants. After assuring the stranger he’s not Victor Frankenstein, Jeffries invites him to his home, where he performs a “personality transplant.”

That’s the snazzy way of saying, “I’m going to make you think that my wife is really your wife, and then tell you that she’s been nailing some dude that isn’t me — er, you — and that you should do something about it, thereby letting me off the hook.” Oooooh, Mrs. Jeffries (Jill Ireland, of course), you are in troubbbbble!

With so few people in the cast and most of the film taking place in one spot, Someone has the feeling of a great — okay, a pretty good — stage play. It’s a game of psychological one-upsmanship in the style of Sleuth or Deathtrap, but a couple levels below in the brains department. Bronson proceeds past his acting ability’s comfort zone in the finale, but I’m sure as hell not going to tell him that. —Rod Lott

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Steel Trap (2007)

In Japan, Steel Trap is titled Jigsaw: Tower of Death, which is appropriate, because this is nothing if not another Saw-inspired game of gore. Mind you, that’s not a complaint, even if its twist ending is telegraphed early on and executed poorly.

During a rockin’ New Year’s Eve party in an abandoned office building, seven really attractive people — including a celebrity chef and a couple of coke-snorters — are invited to the 27th floor for an invitation-only after-party. Food and drink are just the tip of the knife, too, as a clue informs them that this shindig is a treasure hunt — you know, just like those Nicolas Cage movies, but shorn of historical documents and replaced with viscera.

The table’s place settings sport not only the guests’ names, but unofficial titles like “Loser,” “Heartless” and “Two-Faced,” yet they don’t see anything wrong with that. The clues are given in nursery rhymes, yet they aren’t the least bit creeped out by them. The first one takes them to a disembodied pig’s head wearing a crown, yet they keep on going.

I won’t spoil the deaths; they’re kind of creative in that Final Destination sort of way, and that includes being utterly implausible. But realism isn’t what I ask of films like Steel Trap. Nor crisp dialogue, as this is not: “Signal blocked? What the hell’s that mean?” “It means somebody blocked the signal.” —Rod Lott

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Happy Hour (1987)

Happy Hour (also known as Sour Grapes) is the very rare example of a comedy that made me sad — not because it was irredeemably terrible, but rather because it consistently made me laugh. This was especially surprising because I went into it with extremely low expectations. When a film’s biggest names include Jamie Farr, Rich Little, Eddie Deezen and Tawny Kitaen, it’s hard not to brace for the worst.

But, in this case, the worst never happens. Instead, the movie finds the same strange balance between absurdist buffoonery and prescient satire also seen in the underrated Killer Tomatoes franchise, which isn’t a coincidence since Happy Hour was writer/director John De Bello’s sophomore effort following the cult success of 1978’s infamous Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.

Recognizable TV character actor Richard Gilliland stars as a chemist who accidentally discovers an additive that makes Marshall Beer dangerously addictive. The promotion that results enrages his lab partner/ex-girlfriend, prompting her to steal half of the formula and take it to Marshall’s largest competitor. Little, who limits himself to just one (terrible) Cary Grant impression, is the James Bond-like spy hired to steal the formula from Marshall, while sleazy scumbag Farr and his psycho partner Kitaen (in a clear bit of typecasting) are tasked to steal the formula from Marshall’s competition.

While the movie has its share of clumsy moments (more the result of budget than anything else), Happy Hour is far funnier than it has any right to be, which makes the fact that De Bello is now working in advertising instead of still making features the cause of my post-credits melancholy. There’s no one who can’t tell me he shouldn’t have been at least as prolific as Dennis Fucking Dugan. —Allan Mott

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