The story behind Miami Connection would be more compelling than the story of Miami Connection, if the movie had one. As is, characters aren’t introduced so much as they just show up, and plot elements are established, only to be abandoned immediately. This, of course, is why you should watch it. Thanks to someone at Austin, Texas’ legendary Alamo Drafthouse buying a 35-mm print off eBay on a whim, the world can.
An independently funded blend of martial arts and crime, it concerns a band of five metaphorical brothers who attend college by day, rock nightclubs as Dragon Sound by night, and practice tae kwon do in between, sometimes onstage during their performances. Dragon Sound’s synth-laden numbers have the appearance of being for adults, even if their lyrics read like Zig Ziglar and Dale Carnegie cut a record: “Friends through eternity, loyalty, honesty / We’ll stay together through thick or thin / Friends forever, we’ll be together / We’re on top because we play to win.”
The rock group booted from the club in favor of Dragon Sound doesn’t take the diss lightly, so its members order the peaceful quintet of black belts to be killed. Somehow, this comes to involve a clan of black-robed ninjas brandishing very sharp swords, a cocaine ring, a guy with a beard that appears to have been swiped from a G.I. Joe doll, a motorcycle gang, various gym rats with beer bellies and, perhaps most notably, a missing father. Don’t miss the dramatic mail-opening scene!
Leading the guys of Dragon Sound — all of whom live together — is Mark, played by producer Y.K. Kim, a real-life inspirational speaker who barely speaks English, yet nabbed the starring role and co-wrote. As with everyone else in the picture, he cannot act, but his sincerity shows through to a point of infection. Whereas some might find his unconvincing fake-the-guitar skills as horrific, I found them charming. It’s about the only Connection that Miami manages to make.
After a violent and bloody 80 minutes, the movie ends with the sobering title card, “ONLY THROUGH THE ELIMINATION OF VIOLENCE CAN WE ACHIEVE WORLD PEACE,” so there. —Rod Lott
Nick Dunn (John Bromfield, 
Steered with no-nonsense efficiency by Western TV director Don McDougall, 
At Harrad College, they preach and practice free love. Boys and girls are paired up as roommates, encouraged to plug away and attend morning yoga sessions in the nude. This is all fine and dandy if you’re a smooth and suave ladies’ man like Don Johnson, wearing a beret and neckerchief, but a little daunting if you’re, well, Bruno Kirby (
As heads of the school, James Whitmore (
They even get a crash course in extortion, exploiting her hunger to learn the whereabouts of the millions she stole. An escape, however, is only a matter of time, and Rebeca’s shuffling, ax-dragging body chasing them through an abandoned amusement park reminds the kids of Zombie Invasion, a film-within-the-film (starring 
On Christmas Eve 1950, the only thing roasting at the Wilfred Butler mansion was Wilfred Butler himself! Mysteriously dying by fire, he left his estate to his only surviving family member, grandson Jeffrey (James Patterson, 