In the woefully mistitled Too Scared to Scream, residents of the fancy-schmancy apartment building The Royal Arms in New York City start turning up stabbed to death. Investigating are the grizzled Lt. DiNardo (Nightkill’s Mike Connors, who also produced) and his ineffectual, incompetent young partner (Fatal Attraction’s Anne Archer in a feather-duster hairdo), with a … Continue reading Too Scared to Scream (1984)
How does one earn the ceremonial title of Queen of the Jungle? In 15 minutes or less, Sheena shows us: by having your geologist parents be killed by falling rocks while searching for the source of the fabled “healing earth” in a primitive African village. Okay, so it’s a little more complicated than that, but … Continue reading Sheena (1984)
With a title that translates to Fearless Punks, the Mex Pistols of Intrepidos Punks are a down and dirty wrecking crew that roams the near future — possibly a day or two from now — of a small, south-of-the-border town, dedicated to causing mass anarquía wherever they go. ¡Ay, dios mío! After the oft-repeated three-chord … Continue reading Intrepidos Punks (1980)
Another of producer Harry Alan Towers’ travelogue-esque tax write-offs masquerading as a creative project (see: Five Golden Dragons), the overly punctuated Code 7, Victim 5! casts five-time Tarzan Lex Barker as Steve Martin — neither the wild-and-crazy comedian, nor the Godzilla journalist, but an American private dick. Apparently having left the “ain’t gonna play Sun … Continue reading Code 7, Victim 5! (1964)
David Thomson is one of our finest living writers, period. He just so happens to work in the field of film criticism, yet his prose sings as marvelously as any acclaimed work of fiction. Each book he releases is an event for cineastes, including his latest … although it is about the movies’ archenemy. In … Continue reading Reading Material: Short Ends 2/5/17