Area 51 (2015)

area51Given Area 51’s title and creative pedigree, there’s no question of if aliens will be seen, but how long, and will the wait be merited? The short answer is “no,” which you might have guessed to judge from the film’s six-year sit on the Paramount Pictures shelf. The sci-fi/horror hybrid marks one of the more significant sophomore slumps for a 21st-century director — in this case, Oren Peli, creator of the record-shattering smash Paranormal Activity. Even with audience expectations calibrated to realistic levels, Area 51 emerges as a close encounter of the worst kind.

The movie finds Peli again toiling in found footage (whose second wave he ushered in with his 2007 from-nowhere debut), as an otherwise seemingly intelligent young man named Reid (unknown Reid Warner) ropes in his two best buds to embark on a ridiculous quest to break into Nevada’s titular U.S. Air Force base, long rumored to house proof of extraterrestrial life. Exercising an unhealthy obsession with UFOs and their related government conspiracies, Reid is the kind of anomalistic kid who earns straight As in school, yet treats The X-Files as something of a documentary.

area511Peli does his follow-up film no favors by telling us right away that Reid has vanished; we guess his fate (correctly, because it’s the most obvious choice) nearly 90 minutes before Area 51 gets around to it — and with some laughably bad CGI effects that ruin any illusion of the subgenre’s authenticity. As in the creditless Paranormal Activity, Peli painstakingly goes for that facade, which is the only legitimate reason we’d willingly watch so much of a movie through the limited, circular frame of night-vision goggles.

The main reason Paranormal clicked, I think, is because Peli really dug into our universal vulnerability while in a state of sleep; even if you found them annoying, Katie and Micah could have been you or I. Area 51 has no such relatability; it clicks only when you turn it off. Its measure as a disappointment cannot be overstated, as the project not at all boldly goes where every alien-conspiracy picture (and TV series) has gone before. —Rod Lott

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Turkey Shoot (1982)

turkeyshootEscape 2000 may be the “cooler” title, but Turkey Shoot is the most apt. This Thanksgiving, let’s give thanks this bird exists, no matter the moniker. It is one insane Aussie exploitation export.

In the near future — well, 1982’s idea of such — democracy is, like the careers of this film’s leads, a thing of the past. Any people “The Society” deems as being among “malcontents or deviants” (read: freethinkers) are thrown against their will into a concentration camp for “re-education and behavior modification” tantamount to torture.

One of these tight-ship facilities — Camp 47, to be precise — is where Paul (Steve Railsback, The Stunt Man) and Chris (Olivia Hussey, Stephen King’s It) find themselves dumped so unceremoniously at Turkey Shoot’s start. The place is lorded over by the unsubtly named Thatcher (Michael Craig, Mysterious Island), who relishes the chance to espouse Camp 47’s credo: “Freedom is obedience; obedience is work; work is life.” And life here is short!

turkeyshoot1Catching me off-guard (no pun intended), the movie undergoes quite a change at its midpoint; not unlike a caterpillar emerging from its butt-spun cocoon as a butterfly, Turkey Shoot becomes a The Most Dangerous Game redo, now with a special blend of Australian seasoning. Paul and Chris are part of a tiny group of campers chosen to take part in a “hunt,” with them being chased by Camp 47 guards and their rich, equally well-armed Society friends. Thatcher gives them a three-hour head start and a promise: Survive until sundown and freedom is theirs.

Then director Brian Trenchard-Smith (Leprechaun 3 and Leprechaun 4: In Space) makes things get weird.

For one thing, the Camp 47 hunters bring in a ringer: a hirsute, wolf-eared circus freak who eats human toes. He/it looks like something mail-ordered direct from The Island of Dr. Moreau. For another thing … hell, with that, who needs additional incentive? Not for nothing did Mark Hartley devote a significant amount of his 2008 Ozploitation documentary, Not Quite Hollywood, to fete Trenchard-Smith’s Turkey; it’s intentionally and outrageously over-the-top in its violence, yet too campy to approach being labeled nihilistic. As one of the snooty hunters quips correctly, “Beats the hell out of network television.” —Rod Lott

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The Editor (2014)

editorRey Ciso, the editor of The Editor, has cut some killer movies: suspense pics such as The Mirror and the Guillotine and The Cat with the Velvet Blade. So dedicated is he to his craft that he continues chopping film despite having only one good hand, having accidentally sliced off the other one’s fingers while working feverishly on a previous project.

The wooden appendage he wears as a replacement is functional enough, but he’s not what he used to be — a shadow of his former self, a “cripple” in the eyes of fellow crew members, an embarrassment to his whorish wife (Paz de la Huerta, Nurse 3D). Now a punch line and a punching bag, Rey (Adam Brooks, the film’s co-director with Matthew Kennedy) finds himself unfairly fingered when the talent begins being slaughtered by a masked killer similar to the villain in the flick on which they’re working. He may take lives, but at least they are lost with impeccable style.

editor1Although it takes its cues from Dario Argento and Lucio Fulci, the 1970s-set The Editor is a comedy — another pitch-perfect pastiche from the five guys behind Astron-6, the retro-recreationist kids of the 1980s VHS era. The Canadian filmmaking collective made its name through many hysterical shorts that ape a specific genre to a tonal T, before doing the same at feature length, first with 2011’s Manborg and, later that year, Father’s Day.

As those films respectively send up post-apocalyptic science fiction and the revenge thriller, so does The Editor with its punctured eye on the giallo. As always, the gang nails the elements of its “target”; here, that means music by Goblin’s Claudio Simonetti, Argento’s unmistakable color gels, and even going so far as to dub the entire film so the dialogue and mouth movement are never quite in sync.

In a departure from Astron-6’s prior work, however, The Editor may perplex viewers unaccustomed to the Italian source material. So specific are its references that the movie could be — and likely will be — off-putting to the unfamiliar; it’s the team’s least accessible picture yet. That might be Astron-6’s “fault,” but the loss is all the consumer’s. Yet even for those who can recite the Argento filmography in chronological order and in reverse, The Editor’s ending feels like an irrational rush job, as if Brooks, Kennedy and co-writer Conor Sweeney had no clue how to take their surreal story to a stopping point. I just wish it had concluded as Manborg had: with an uproarious fake trailer for another cleverly executed Astron-6 joint. —Rod Lott

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The Spirit (1987)

spirit87Seven years after breaking big in/as Flash Gordon, Sam Jones got the chance to play another Sunday-funnies superstar with/as The Spirit. All right, so it was made for TV, but at least this time, Jones didn’t have to suffer the indignity of having his voice dubbed by someone else. An added bonus (although we wouldn’t know it for another two decades and some change) is that the ensuing telepic is a greater, grander entertainment than Frank Miller’s $60 million stink-bomb adaptation for the silver screen.

Being a feature-length pilot for ABC’s intended series, this version scripted by Die Hard scribe Steven E. de Souza depicts the origin story of Will Eisner’s comic-book creation: After presumably being shot dead by a baddie, the square-jawed, straight-and-narrow cop Denny Colt takes advantage of his antagonist’s assumption by donning a sliver of a blue mask to disguise his identity. Reborn as The Spirit, basically a superhero in a GQ-worthy suit, Colt sets about cleaning his beloved Central City of its crime problem, vigilante-style. That no one recognizes him — not even gal pal Ellen Dolan (a miscast Nana Visitor, aka Mama Voorhees of 2009’s Friday the 13th remake) — is ludicrous, but just let it ride; as comics readers know, that’s just the style and, er, spirit of the piece.

spirit871Faithful though it is to Eisner’s source material, this Spirit makes one major change that’s hard to argue against: giving young sidekick Ebony White an upgrade from his 1940s stereotype — a step above Stepin Fetchit — to a modern, palatable role. Now named Eubie, he’s played by Enemy Mine’s pint-sized Bumper Robinson. Hopefully, the shift would have happened regardless, but that it did is not at all surprising, especially considering blaxploitation pioneer Michael Schultz (Cooley High) was at the helm. That said, Schultz’s Spirit is left with a few unfortunate hallmarks of its own era: namely, big hair on the ladies, a synth-sax score and multiple Rick James references.

On the plus side, where dozens more tick marks reside, The Spirit boasts a vibrant color palette that predates Warren Beatty’s Dick Tracy, a general pulp vibe as enjoyable as an ice-cold glass of Tropicana, and a permeating sense of humor that’s mostly meant to be, even if our effective detective twice says, “Crime, especially murder, is never a laughing matter.” —Rod Lott

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Into the Grizzly Maze (2015)

intogrizzlySeven years after fleeing his Alaskan hometown, prodigal son Rowan (James Marsden, X-Men: Days of Future Past) returns, only to step in a big ol’ mess of animal instincts. “Would that,” you ask, “involve going Into the Grizzly Maze?” To that query, I respond rhetorically (and obviously), does a bear shit in the woods?

His estranged brother, Beckett (Thomas Jane, Deep Blue Sea), among them, the local po-po are busy investigating deaths in the forest caused by a giant grizzly, “portrayed” by an actual bear whose billing sits higher than co-star Billy Bob Thornton. Beckett needs Rowan’s help in retrieving his wife (Piper Perabo, Looper), who’s not only oblivious to being in danger because she’s taking nature photos at the time, but also because she happens to be deaf, thereby greatly upping her chances of becoming one super supper of all-white meat. (Admit it: It’s weird the grizzly has more lines than the damsel in distress.)

intogrizzly1Hired by the sheriff’s department, Thornton’s straight-faced bear tapper sums up the situation at hand — and, by extension, the entire film: “This isn’t your average bear. It’s a clever bear. … You’ve never met a bear like this before. … I’m just tellin’ ya.”

What he doesn’t tell ya is that this wilderness thriller plays like a high-gloss, kitsch-stripped update of William Girdler’s 1976 cult hit Grizzly, which itself was a furry take on Jaws for the Cabela’s crowd. While adept enough at staging suspense, director David Hackl seems more interested in ending each set piece with an act of gore, each so wet and lingered upon that they would not be out-of-place in Hackl’s previous film, Saw V. Because these bits are largely (and admirably) practical rather than digital, they convince enough to wince; same goes for the clawed beast serving as Maze’s maker of mayhem.

Although unlikely to leave any lasting impressions, the movie is absorbing as a paper towel dropped on the puddle of dog urine found on the dining room floor, but without applying pressure: not ideal, but works for the time being. —Rod Lott

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