Dolph Lundgren fights zombies and robots! Repeat: Dolph Lundgren fights zombies and robots! And that’s all the information needed in deciding whether Battle of the Damned speaks to you. The Expendables veteran plays Gatling — as in “gun,” get it? — a former Delta Force soldier dispatched to a city in Southeast Asia quarantined on … Continue reading Battle of the Damned (2013)→
There’s really no need for you to give Stash House a try; after all, Warner Home Video sure didn’t. The name of star Sean Faris is misspelled on the back of the DVD package, and when the disc is inserted into your player, you’ll be presented with two menu options: “Play” and “Languages.” Choose the … Continue reading Stash House (2012)→
I’m not sure why I yearned for a Johnny Mnemonic re-watch to reveal a misdiagnosed classic, but I did have hopes. After all, many of my favorites began with a first-viewing sneer of contempt: Prince of Darkness, Lifeforce, From Beyond — all movies to which I gave a cautious-but-gratifyingly-successful second chance. Could Johnny be due … Continue reading Johnny Mnemonic (1995)→
When Jean-Claude Van Damme’s character says, “There is no end,” you’d be forgiven for thinking he could be referring to the Universal Soldier franchise, which numbers either four or six with the arrival of Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning, depending on which nerd you ask. No end is necessary if the sequels were to stay … Continue reading Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning (2012)→
On the basis of the low-rent but ridiculously enjoyable Detention, I wish Dolph Lundgren had been allowed to front each and every Die Hard rip-off. Although about a decade and a half too late to capitalize properly on the yippee-ki-yay, this film definitely is that, which its use of Bizet’s “Habanera” from Carmen makes perfectly … Continue reading Detention (2003)→