To grant Golden Needles the alternate title of Mitchell Goes to the Orient — as a friend of mine did — is not out of line, even if Mitchell was a year away from its messy birth. This half-baked adventure presents star Joe Don Baker (Walking Tall) in the same vein: overweight, unkempt, presumably sweaty, kinda … Continue reading Golden Needles (1974)
To paraphrase one of Keanu Reeves’ more famous lines from The Matrix, he knows kung fu … so why not make his own martial-arts movie? In that directorial debut, Man of Tai Chi, he proves competent behind the camera, which automatically places him above his skills in front of it. In the department of delivering … Continue reading Man of Tai Chi (2013)
So nonlinear that calling it nonlinear doesn’t cut it, the Hong Kong oddity The Invincible Space Streaker has nothing to do with space, and there’s no streaker. But here’s what goes down, or as much I was able to decipher from its truncated-English subtitles (“I order you kill him!”): After a hard day at grade … Continue reading The Invincible Space Streaker (1977)
On 9/11, I remember thinking how different things might have been if someone like Jackie Chan or Jet Li had been aboard United flight 93. Certainly those guys could’ve, would’ve kicked the crap out of the hijackers, and thus, saved the day. At least that’s how it works in the movies; real life doesn’t follow … Continue reading JCVD (2008)
‘Tis with a fiery passion that I detest comedy writer Steve Oedekerk’s many thumb-based parody shorts, which include Thumbtanic, Bat Thumb and Thumb Wars: The Phantom Cuticle. They’re simply fucking stupid. I dislike them so much that I half-wish he would lose those two digits in an accident, in a bizarre twist of irony. So … Continue reading Kung Pow! Enter the Fist (2002)