Horror film icon Adrienne Barbeau starred in Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death, Silk Degrees and Burial of the Rats.
FLICK ATTACK: Last February, I won a bottle of J&B at a screening of your ex-husband’s remake of The Thing for knowing you played the voice of the chess computer that beats Kurt Russell. Is this impressive, sad or a little of both?
BARBEAU: I think it’s impressive. Might tend to categorize you, though. Maybe you shouldn’t go public with your knowledge.
FLICK ATTACK: Speaking of John Carpenter, the two of you first worked together on the 1978 TV movie Someone’s Watching Me. How different do you think that movie would have been if he had been able to cast you in the lead instead of Lauren Hutton? And did anyone advise you against taking the then-controversial role of an out-of-the-closet lesbian?
BARBEAU: Well, I was shorter than Lauren, that’s one difference. As for playing one of the first lesbian women on television, I don’t think anyone noticed. It didn’t seem controversial at all, certainly no one ever commented on it. Probably because we dealt with it in such a matter-of-fact way.
FLICK ATTACK: You mention in your memoir that, despite earning a Tony nomination for originating the role of Rizzo on Broadway, you’ve never seen the film adaptation of Grease. Considering its ubiquity and annoying tendency to be “rediscovered” every five years or so, this strikes me as being a lot harder than it sounds. Has there ever been an instance where you’ve had to take deliberate action to avoid seeing it or have you somehow organically managed to remain blissfully untouched by it? And would you ever consider watching Grease II? It’s pretty awesome and Maxwell Caul — er, I mean, Michelle Pfeiffer is really dreamy in it.
BARBEAU: I did see part of Grease II on television once. I don’t remember it at all, except for thinking Michelle Pfeiffer was absolutely beautiful and should have a great career ahead of her. And as for never seeing Grease, I think the answer is organically managed to remain blissfully oblivious. That, and changing channels a couple of times on purpose.
FLICK ATTACK: There’s a terrible fire, and both The Love Boat and Fantasy Island are in equal amounts of danger. You guest-starred on both, but only have enough time to save one. What do you do?
BARBEAU: I’ve got to go with Fantasy Island. I mean, where else could I get the opportunity to play a 200-lb. woman opposite Tim Thomerson? Or get rescued by Ricardo Montalban? Besides, I got seasick on The Love Boat and couldn’t wait to disembark.
FLICK ATTACK: You finally got to play the “Kurt Russell” part in the cult horror/comedy The Convent. How fun was it being an action-movie badass?
BARBEAU: I loved it. As soon as Mike Mendez described the role as “a female Snake Plissken,” I said “yes.” Now if only the motorcycle really worked.
FLICK ATTACK: In a review for the 1987 slasher movie Open House, I suggested it was a film “so poorly made, you can even tell that the catering sucked.” Since you were one of the stars, I thought you might let me know if this critical analysis was correct or if I’m just a huge asshole.
BARBEAU: I’ll have to go with your judgment, since I never saw the film. And I’m damned if I can remember the food.
FLICK ATTACK: About your time spent working on The Cannonball Run, you wrote, “My character was simply the crux of a running tit joke: stupid male becomes blithering idiot when faced with exposed mammaries,” and, “All the talent I needed was attached to my breastbone.” Have I already mentioned how much I loved your memoir?
BARBEAU: Wanna be friends on Facebook? —Allan Mott