All posts by Louis Fowler

The Hill and the Hole (2019)

Fritz Leiber Jr. was a moderately popular speculative writer whose novels and stories were adapted for Rod Serling’s Night Gallery TV series and films such as Burn, Witch, Burn and Weird Woman. His 1942 tale “The Hill and the Hole” is also the basis for this recent atmospheric indie flick of the same name, a bizarre yarn of the Southwest that hard to fully grasp, but harder to quit watching.

Archeologist Tom (Liam Kelly), working for the Bureau of Land Management out in the deserted desert of New Mexico, finds a topographical anomaly: an oversized hill completely missing from area maps. Seems that the locals will do anything to protect that mysterious mound, including walloping Tom upside the head and leaving him for dead.

He narrowly escapes, but is met with strange characters and stranger scenarios, most of which are impossible to tell if they’re due to the town or Tom’s possible brain damage. Basic discussions turn into psychic breakdowns; local characters turn into conspiracy theories; and that hill, as you could guess, ain’t what it seems to be.

To be honest, I still don’t know what it is.

Visually, The Hill and the Hole is a gorgeous slice of oddball Americana, capturing a fever dream where everything is ordinary, but the closer you look, out of the ordinary. Everything, that is, except for the mostly amateurish acting that, at times, can lead to more wincing than wonderment.

Still, this low-budget flick is an idiosyncratic and incongruous sojourn to the deepest recesses — literally — of a perplexing pile of dirt, a brain-boiler that will leave far more questions than answers, but I suspect that was probably the point. At least I hope it is. —Louis Fowler

Get it at Amazon.

Revenge of the Living Dead Girls (1986)

When suspiciously tainted milk kills three wholly irritating women, they inexplicably come back from the dead a few hours later with mysterious decomposed faces and ravenously start eating the penises of oversexed men in rural France. If that doesn’t sound entertaining, then I’m sorry, I can’t help you.

Using the age-old social issue of waste pollution near graveyards as a somewhat acceptable reason for the zombie ladies, there is enough talk about toxic seepage and water tables and possibly fracking to fill a sizable revision of the Kyoto Protocol. But — and correct me if I’m wrong — I don’t remember that document having a spontaneous abortion in a bathtub, like Revenge of the Living Dead Girls does.

Called the “most extreme French gore film in history” by people with far more credentials than I, Revenge indubitably earns that title with as much cheap grue as possible, although I’m not sure who else is really reaching for those lofty goals these days. Like most Eurosleaze flicks, the screen is typically filled with more bare flesh than dead flesh, with mildly confused sex scenes happening every four or five minutes. Add a nonsensical ending that leaves so many more questions than answers and you’ve got a French horror flick that even Jean Rollin probably wouldn’t touch. —Louis Fowler

Get it at Amazon.

Mondo Balordo (1964)

Following closely to the perversely entertaining Mondo Cane and with a title that roughly translates to “crazy world,” Mondo Balordo is one of the earliest exploitative travelogues to offer shocking glimpses of the misbegotten world of 1964 that was only really brandished about in the nudie-est of men’s magazines.

Hosted by the effortlessly charming Boris Karloff, we’re taken to a large swath of Europe to see sexy transvestite Spaniards on stage, the smoking-hot German lesbian scene, stuffy British bankers dancing like penguins, and Italian strong men throwing fake boulders on a film set — it’s a crazy world!

Meanwhile, in America, women raise money for the pyramids of Luxor by having their own pyramids of flesh judged and rated; an elderly man is married by a lady of the night and is then dumped at an old folks’ home; and a sexualized little person is taken to the abandoned back seat of a car parked in an alley and illicitly made love to — it’s a crazy world!

In India, hungry fisherman pull giant turtles out of the sea and tear them apart flipper to flipper; a little person sings terrible rock ’n’ roll on stage; and some random crooner tries to recapture the success of Cane’s “More” by singing a ballad that rationalizes all that is about to visually scar you in this film — it’s a crazy world!

With terrifying trips to an opium den, a ladies’ balloon-wresting ring and plenty of dirty streets filled with a mix of three-legged dogs and one-legged humans, all directed by Robert Bianchi Montero (of Sexy Nudo fame, of course), Mondo Balordo, like many of the mondo flicks of this era, is an acquired taste of delicate putridity that will willingly seduce any less-traveled pervert after 3 a.m. After all, it’s a crazy world! —Louis Fowler

Get it at Amazon.

Hot Chili (1985)

Whereas most directors would typically fill a mid-’80s teen sex comedy about a quartet of slobs working the summer at a hotel south of the border with near-constant Mexican stereotypes, not every director is Galaxina’s William Sachs, who inexplicably fills the flick with so many sexed-up European characters that you almost want to give him some sort of award for his wokefulness.

The movie is the extra-spicy Hot Chili and its big star is Allan Kayser, who you might remember as Bubba from TV’s Mama’s Family … well, that’s where I remember him from. He’s the leader of this motley crew of horny high schoolers, including those oft-repeated tropes of the cool guy, the fat guy and the nerdy guy. As much as these guys talk about “fucking,” they all seem to be totally afraid of sex.

Which isn’t to say there’s not a good reason for their erectile frights, especially given the oversexed ladies who are remarkably booked at the same time; this includes the accomplished-but-horny musician, the muscular-but-horny workout queen and the German-but-horny dominatrix who wants to do Mapplethorpe-esque things with bullwhips to the fat guy’s ass.

A set of parents — the cool guy’s parents — show up and they’re erotically horned-up as well; even his little sister is sexually vapid, taking a video camera and making homemade revenge porn to show on the television screens at a modest dinner in the hotel’s restaurant where everyone is eating the titular magical fruit.

As you’d hope, Kayser is basically Bubba on vacation, while the chubby Joe Rubbo spends most of the movie in ill-fitting boxers. Add to the pot a trio of stacked blondes — Bea Fiedler, Victoria Barrett and Taaffe O’Connell — and, well, you still have a very dumb movie, but the type of movie that only Sachs could have ever made. ¡Olé! —Louis Fowler

Get it at Amazon.

Impractical Jokers: The Movie (2020)

If you’ve ever been in a hospital — multiple times for me — you probably know there’s really nothing to do except watch the most basic of cable television for hours on end. But, it was there I discovered truTV and its nearly constant airings of the reality show Impractical Jokers, starring Long Island comedy team the Tenderloins.

With a premise of four friends who compete in various challenges to embarrass and humiliate each other, every laugh, guffaw and chortle was always one step closer to busting my surgery stitches, but it was always a hilarious way to pass the body-aching time.

In Impractical Jokers: The Movie, their film debut, the four jokers — Murr, Q, Joe and Sal — mix a mostly fictional story in between their nonfictional stunts, as the guys try to make their way to Miami to see a Paula Abdul show. I guess she fit perfectly in the truTV budget.

And while that part of the flick is somewhat weak, opposites attract, because the pranks are some of the funniest since Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa, including a birthday party at a strip club where Murr’s entire family — including some children — shows up while he’s in the middle of a lapdance. It’s a disturbingly hilarious bit that hurts my gut just writing about.

Still, at an hour and a half, Impractical Jokers: The Movie eventually wears out its welcome with overkill, while any TV episode’s 22-minute running time is enough to keep you binge-watching. Regardless, this flick came out at the worst time possible — COVID, y’all! — with most people missing it during its short theatrical run.

So, I guess the joke’s on them? —Louis Fowler

Get it at Amazon.