All posts by Rod Lott

Squealer (2023)

Squealer positions itself as based on real-life crimes without stating whose. If they’re not Robert Pickton’s, then actor Ronnie Gene Blevins can chalk his visual similarity up to pure coincidence and be proud of the paycheck. Then again, how many greasy pig farmers have moonlighted as serial killers? 

Maybe don’t answer that. 

As “Squealer” in Squealer, Blevins (2018’s Death Wish remake) plays a pig farmer and butcher who kills prostitutes. Oink, boink. He makes literal meat of the slain hookers, which causes the odd nipple ring to make its way into the ground round. 

The police investigate. One of the cops is Tyrese Gibson, needing to eat between Fast X installments. The main man on the case, however, is Jack (Wes Chatham, 2014’s The Town That Dreaded Sundown remake). Because his estranged wife (Danielle Burgio, House of the Dead 2) happens to be a social worker whose heart looks out for the ladies of the night, whether Jack succeeds is a matter of when, not if.

Burgio also co-produced and co-wrote the film with director Andy Armstrong (Moonshine Highway), a fellow stuntperson. Originality may not be among the pages, but they wrote her a great showcase. She shines in the part.

Meanwhile, Kate Moennig (2012’s Gone) and Theo Rossi (Emily the Criminal) steal the movie out from everyone, Batman villain-style, as Squealer’s “business associates.” She’s a tweaker; he’s a purple-suited, crossbow-wielding drug dealer. Together or individually, they bring levity every time they show up, in a movie that plays things bone-dry.

If it sounds like Squealer gets squeezed out of Squealer, that’s because he does — a victim of his own supposed story. Part procedural, part slasher, part domestic drama and part social justice advocate, the unfocused film doesn’t amount to much, outside a few amusing turns. —Rod Lott

Get it at Amazon.

Hollowgate (1988)

Few slasher villains bear weaker origin stories than Mark, the killer of Hollowgate: As a child, he was nearly drowned by his alcoholic dad for lackluster apple-bobbling skills at a Halloween party.

Ten years later, to say the adult Mark (Addison Randall, Hard Vice) is an antisocial creep is an understatement, what with all his killing a girl for refusing a date and exploding a bully with flaming panties. Rather than lock Mark up, our exemplary justice system releases him to the care of his wealthy grandmother at her Hollowgate estate.

The next 10/31, en route to a party, two young couples stop for “submarine sandwiches” and a $9 sparkle wig. In exchange for the latter, which they can’t afford, the four agree to deliver 12 costumes to Hollowgate. See, Mark’s throwing a shindig of his own; all he needs are attendees, because being freshly murdered, Grandma can’t make it.

With this, one-time writer/director Ray Dizazzo gives his flick’s felon a good-enough gimmick: As the college-aged kids attempt to penetrate the mansion’s electrified perimeter for escape, Mark dons a different costume — soldier, cowboy, doctor and, um, fancy fox hunter — for each individual kill. (One involves a farm combine so slow-moving, of course the Dumb Hot Girl stands in front of it, ensuring doom.) Adopting the proper accent and (occasionally racist) vocabulary with every change, Mark’s a regular Pistachio Disguisey!

In his first of almost two dozen collaborations with PM Entertainment producers Richard Pepin and Joseph Merhi, Randall delivers an off-his-meds performance that’s a tour de force of, well, something. I know this much: I love his commitment. He tears into the material like an unneutered puppy to any stuffed toy concealing a squeaker.

Nearly matching his intensity is Richard Dry, 25% of the beleaguered victim pool. Resembling third runner-up in a Lewis Skolnick lookalike contest, Dry boasts a voice in the David Schwimmer octave (minus the timing) as he plays agitation and hysteria like a Juilliard monologue (minus the practice).

Hollowgate deserves status as a Halloween perennial specifically because of its shoddiness and a beguiling, complete misread of human behavior. For those who paid attention, Mark gets to use only four rented costumes, leaving eight others untouched. Legacy sequel, Mr. Dizazzo? A man can dream of things other than those submarine sandwiches. —Rod Lott

Get it at Amazon.

Superheroes Smash the Box Office: A Cinema History from the Serials to 21st Century Blockbusters

And now for a new book Martin Scorsese won’t be reading: Canadian journalist Shawn Conner’s Superheroes Smash the Box Office: A Cinema History from the Serials to 21st Century Blockbusters, from McFarland & Company. If you have any interest in the subject, though, I recommend it.

As a child of the 1970s, this voracious comics reader wondered why Superman was the only true four-color do-gooder at a theater near me; I longed for more. As a new adult of the 1990s, I couldn’t believe the studios finally caught up. Now, as an older adult of the 2020s, I honestly want the mighty Marvel movie machine to break into an irreparable state. How did we get from there to here? Film by film (more or less), Conner charts the answer.

His book is a zippy run through eight decades of examples — sometimes too zippy. Example: While 2004’s The Punisher isn’t a good movie, it seems odd to not mention its megastar antagonist, John Travolta. On the other hand, the author has a lot of ground to cover; luckily, he doesn’t waste time with scene-by-scene retellings like other books on this subject often do, instead focusing on development, production and reception.

As the chapters progress into our current times of Avengers ad infinitum, either he was rushed or simply less enthusiastic; either way, I don’t blame him. Every now and again, you’ll run across an egregious error — James Gunn didn’t direct The Specials, just as screenwriter Scott Frank has never won an Oscar — but not so many to question his credibility. I’ve encountered far worse offenders just among those writing about caped-crusader cinema.

With a surfeit of similar texts, what really kept me invested in Superheroes Smash the Box Office was Conner’s sense of humor about the whole enterprise. Fanboys may bristle for him for refusing to kneel at their false idols. For instance, CBS’ Incredible Hulk pilot is “a great show if you want to watch Bill Bixby change a tire in the rain.” And of Todd McFarlane’s stated quest for “integrity” and “dignity” in shepherding Spawn to the screen, Conner writes, “Strong words from a man with creative control over a film with a dwarf clown who emits green farts.” I’m still laughing over that one. —Rod Lott

Get it at Amazon.

Halloween Pussy Trap Kill! Kill! (2017)

Late one night, all-girl punk group Kill, Pussy, Kill! (exclamation certainly not mine) gets stranded on the road to the next gig. The band members are kidnapped by a would-be Good Samaritan (’90s TV heartthrob Richard Grieco), who tosses them into the basement of a former American solider now calling himself “the Mastermind,” a self-ascribed moniker as pretentious as it is mysterious.

Voiced by Megadeth founder and frontman Dave Mustaine (not that his speaking voice triggers such recognition) and played by Jed Rowen (That’s a Wrap) in physical form, the Mastermind is all kinds of fucked up after being captured, tortured and facially mutilated by the enemy in Pakistan on Halloween 2004.

Now, from the confines of his wheelchair and Darkman getup, he teaches lessons in sacrifice to clueless, carefree youth. In a progression of dingy cement rooms that look the same, the Mastermind forces Amber Stardust (Sara Malakul Lane, Beyond the Gates) and her fellow pawns through tasks and traps involving a motorized rifle, sarin gas and old-timey Oscar winner Margaret O’Brien (Meet Me in St. Louis), presumably because Marcus Welby, M.D. episode royalties ain’t what they used to be.

With Halloween Pussy Trap Kill! Kill!, prolific writer and director Jared Cohn (Street Survivors: The True Story of the Lynyrd Skynyrd Plane Crash) takes the concept of Grand Guignol gamesmanship to new lows of attempted viewer engagement, so prepare to Saw some logs. When the sight of Grieco (who’s actually good here) is ultimately more welcome than nudity, you might feel as imprisoned as the leads.

While Cohn’s idea isn’t original, it’s certainly ripe for exploitation. But also with better execution. A failed Rob Zombie imitation, Pussy Trap aims for an oil-and-water mix of heavy transgression and light comedy. I did laugh once, when trick-or-treaters complain about the candy offered at the Mastermind household, so Mrs. Mastermind (Kelly Erin Decker, Dracula in a Women’s Prison) blows them up with a live grenade. That’ll teach ’em.  —Rod Lott

Get it at Amazon.

S.O.S. Operation Bikini (1967)

Although Italy unquestionably dominated the James Bond wannabe subgenre, Mexico got into bed with the spy-fi craze, too. None other than Mexploitation royalty René Cardona Jr. (1978’s Cyclone) helmed S.O.S. Operation Bikini (aka S.O.S. Conspiración Bikini in its home country).

It’s the first and last screen adventure of Agent 00100 Alex Dinamo (Julio Alemán, Vacation of Terror), a government good guy aiding his lovely colleague (Sonia Furió, Operación Tiburón) as she infiltrates the enemy S.O.S. crime syndicate as an undercover fashion model. It all has something to do with the CIA shipping weapons to Latin America, but the story isn’t the point, nor it is the easiest to follow, despite not plotted in knots. As poorly written as the film is, it succeeds as an entertaining time capsule, capturing Ecuador in that era teetering between technology and tradition.

Nearly all of Operation Bikini unwraps in a swank, mid-century modern paradise of a hotel. Pool, casino, showroom — every on-site spot pops with a peacock’s plume of pastels. In an early shootout aboard a tugboat, you’ll be distracted by bananas in the ripest green ever photographed.

Zippy and bright (speaking visually, not intellectually), Cardona’s carnival of guns, gadgets, girls and güeyes vacillates between spy-movie spoofery and being the real deal, which may frustrate viewers looking for one or the other, not both. Chases abound: cars, boats, planes, copters and, yes, skirts. —Rod Lott