All posts by Rod Lott

Spine (1986)

Beware, lady nurses in the Valley who happen to stand around 5’3″: A serial killer is targeting you. Be on the lookout for a guy who looks like Jim Henson after a visit to Sunglass Hut. 

Nurse Carrie Lonegan (Janus Blythe, Tobe Hooper’s Eaten Alive) sure is. Her co-workers at the hospital — really just an office park with an overly fern-laden reception room — keep getting killed by the guy. He’s looking for a “Linda,” but slays regardless of actual name. Worse, Carrie’s new, naive roommate (Lise Romanoff), fresh to El Lay from Kansas City, gets hired there. Will the investigating cop be able to find the culprit before the roomies fall victim, too?

No one tell Carrie, but said crack police detective (co-director/co-writer John Howard) tries to solve the case by punching the following five terms into a TRS-80 database:

  • LINDA
  • NURSE
  • STRANGLE
  • BACKBONE
  • KNIFE

And holy shit, it works!

As the killer, R. Eric Huxley and his pink shirt exude skeeze. If his extended, methodical torture of his tied-up prey in the third act feels a little, well, fetishy, that’s not accidental. Howard infuses the incidentally amusing Spine with the deliberate kink of his pornographic past: bondage videos with titles like Rope Burn.

For the record, Howard’s creative partner, Justin Simmonds, has no such wank-minded credits, much less any other credits. That’s de rigueur for these shot-on-video affairs. As is the great deal of ice cream truck tunes. —Rod Lott

Get it at Amazon.

A Cut Below: A Celebration of B Horror Movies, 1950s-1980s

Daily Dead columnist Scott Drebit’s first book can be summed up in one sentence from its 33rd page: “Sometimes you just want to see children have their hands cut off with a samurai sword.” Hear, hear!

No, not in real life, Karen — just at the movies! Specifically, the four decades’ worth Drebit covers in said book, A Cut Below: A Celebration of B Horror Movies, 1950s-1980s, from McFarland & Company.

For the paperback, the author champions 60 films — not all horror, despite the subtitle, with sci-fi running a distant second. Like preschoolers, the movies featured are grouped tidily into fives to ensure a semblance of control; Drebit’s themed chapters include such terrors as zombies, satanists, animals and — yikes! — Canadians. Yes, there’s something for everyone … assuming someone out there is into “hookers in weird masks, slimy alien babies, interdimensional traveling, cheap beer, and plastic chainsaws.”

That quote describes one movie — 1989’s shot-on-video Things — and you better believe someone is into it: Drebit, for starters, then hopefully, the adventurous readers swayed by his passionate plead to give it a try, glacier-sized flaws and all.

Three times out of four, the sheer randomness of his picks works in A Cut Below’s favor, lifting it well above a “Horror 101”-style text. For example, I like that the slashers chapter tiptoes into thrillers for the Charles Bronson vehicle 10 to Midnight. I love seeing something as anti-mainstream as Japan’s Evil Dead Trap chosen to represent amusements from other countries. And I really love that the aforementioned chapter of the undead doesn’t invite a certain Mr. Romero to play — no offense meant, George.

As for the other 25% of the time, does Ed Wood’s Plan 9 from Outer Space need even more ink? Although Drebit’s stated purpose is to commemorate, not unearth, I got more pleasure reading about the titles I haven’t seen. That’s not to say the book is bad when the subject is familiar — not at all, thanks to his folksy, chummy writing style always on duty as a safeguard. You won’t encounter a page not worth your time. If a follow-up is in the cards, I’m hoping for at least 60 more reviews. Is 600 too much to ask? —Rod Lott

Get it at Amazon or McFarland.

Midnight Peepshow (2022)

Among the hundreds of horror anthologies I’ve seen, Midnight Peepshow boasts arguably one of the most unique settings for its wraparound: a private booth in a London sex shop. On Valentine’s Day, no less!

That’s where convention attendee Graham (Richard Cotton, The Living and the Dead) drunkenly stumbles into. Each time he inserts cash to make the window go up, the woman on the other side shares her story. It’s no coincidence all three involve Black Rabbit, an Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland-themed site on the dark web where people pay to have their wildest sexual fantasies realized.

From director Airell Anthony Hayles (They’re Outside), the first segment starts the film on a misstep just sketchy enough to give me a Verotika vibe, which no one wants or needs. Here, the miserably married Roisin Brown and David Wayman experience a home invasion that doesn’t unfold as planned.

Now, imagine if Saw’s games were run not by Tobin Bell, but by Gremlins’ Zach Galligan. That’s the case with the next story, courtesy Andy Edwards (Ibiza Undead). Here, a woman (model Miki Davis) wakes up in a makeshift bridal gown and trapped in a dungeon, where three men she’s slept with are tied up and shock-collared. She’s forced to literally play Fuck, Marry, Kill.

Finally, Jake West (Razor Blade Smile) lets Graham witness his own origin story of sorts. As his better, sexier half (a debuting Sarah Diamond) starts liking their intercourse rougher and rowdier, he starts to wonder why … only to learn the hard way (in both meanings, unfortunately).

Merging fear and fornication in the anything-goes style of Showtime’s The Hunger TV series or the Jeff Gelb/Michael Garrett-edited Hot Blood paperbacks, the movie is naughty enough for a nice night of erotic horror. Two outta three make for greater odds than most indie anthologies can muster these days, and that last hour is strong enough to cry out for another go-round. —Rod Lott

Get it at Amazon.

The Hobby (2022)

When I was 7 years old, the kids next door came back from the 7-Eleven — which I wasn’t allowed to go to — with something called “trading cards.” Not only did these cards feature full-color photos from everyone’s two favorite movies (Star Wars and Superman), but came with a sticker and a slab of gum. I was extremely, insanely jealous. Still am.

The Hobby, a documentary on the recent resurgence of the trading-card biz, explores the push and pull between collectors and investors. I wish it were more varied in subject than concentrating on two high-stakes types of cards: sports and Pokémon. With select rarities now going for millions on the market, there’s much ado about cardboard.

Director Morgan Jon Fox’s inside-baseball approach may alienate more casual viewers eager for a glimpse into this world. From dealers and podcasters to — just kill me now — a “full-time Pokémon content creator,” interview after interview rattles off price after price of cards they’ve acquired or sold. That makes the doc geared toward people willing to watch YouTube videos of others opening pack after pack, box after box — something more passive and alien to me than watching others play video games.

Although not a total wash, the movie quickly enters a repetitive cycle that’s oddly void of conflict, especially since the end titles hint at later events of hostility and volatility Fox’s camera wasn’t around to catch. Speaking of catching, The Hobby’s graphics aren’t exactly “Topps” in the spelling department, with such errors as “ECLUSIVE” and “FUED.” —Rod Lott

Get it at Amazon.

A Creature Was Stirring (2023)

Why a Christmas-set movie is hitting home video the week of Valentine’s Day is secondary to why a Christmas-set movie requires one of its leads to rectally insert a thermometer throughout. Admittedly, the “hole” idea is less absurd when you understand A Creature Was Stirring falls into the realm of holiday horror. It’s not to be confused with the 2018 anthology All the Creatures Were Stirring, although you’re better off if you do.

In her first role after an Emmy-nommed, six-year stint on TV’s This Is Us, Chrissy Metz plays a nurse who lives with her young-adult daughter (Ouija: Origin of Evil’s Annalise Basso, looking like a li’l Heather Langenkamp). That their respective names are Faith and Charm should give you a solid idea of director Damien LeVeck and scripter Shannon Wells’ level of subtlety with the material.

At super speed, a blanket-draped Charm skitters around her bedroom and turns into a porcupine monster if her body temp falls anywhere other than the “safe zone” between 102˚ and 104.4˚. The opening credits relay this multiple times. If you aren’t paying attention, no worries: Faith’s loaded up with dialogue to remind you thereafter. At least the full monstrous transformation shown later deserves kudos — and the Fangoria spread it’s clearly aiming for.

Meanwhile, in Creature’s concurrent plot line, siblings played by Scout Taylor-Compton (The Long Night) and Connor Paolo (Friend Request) break into Faith’s home, only to be attacked … and then invited to stay the night because, baby, it’s cold outside. So they do.

More ludicrous, Faith makes out with the DC Comics superhero Green Lantern. Somehow, this from-nowhere fantasy manages to be even more embarrassing than the worst moment of Ryan Reynolds’ hapless Green Lantern — not an easy achievement.

In his sophomore feature, LeVeck (The Cleansing Hour) stages one truly Stirring sequence as Taylor-Compton’s character elbow-crawls her way through a maze of snow tunnels in search of Charm. Its near-magic mix of tension and claustrophobia makes you wish he were able to sprinkle that everywhere else. Half an uninspired movie remains thereafter, limping toward a “one week later” coda with twists it doesn’t earn the right to present. But I admit the film’s final image is kinda ballsy — and refreshing because it takes place in daytime, thus sparing us the aggravatingly saturated Christmas-light color palette that overpowers every scene before it. —Rod Lott

Get it at Amazon.