All posts by Rod Lott

Poor White Trash Part II (1974)

Not even three minutes of Poor White Trash Part II tick by before an unseen ax murderer kills one of our two presumed main characters — newlyweds on a log-cabin honeymoon, no less! With her new hubby freshly dead, insta-widow Helen (Norman Moore, Problem Child) runs for her life into the woods — and all to the tune of an inappropriately upbeat score, complete with rubber-band instruments.

Helen soon finds safety — relatively speaking — when she bumps into possum-hunting redneck Odis Pickett (Gene Ross, The Legend of Boggy Creek), who lives nearby with his son (Charlie Dell, 1986’s Invaders from Mars), daughter (Camilla Carr, A Bullet for Pretty Boy) and pregnant wife (Ann Stafford, Keep My Grave Open). “Lookie here what I done brung home for supper,” Odis tells them, and he doesn’t mean possum.

If you read Odis’ quote as a leering threat of nonconsensual sexual congress, pat yourself on the back. When it comes to Helen, who shore is purty, every overstrained syllable that manages to escape the uneducated man’s mouth crackles with electricity. Unfortunately for her, it’s like the kind of electricity generated by the exposed ends of frayed cords used for misogynist methods of torture as depicted on the covers of pulp detective mags: unwanted.

Or, as his daughter says best, “I know what kind of privates you got in mind: same ones you been pokin’ in me since I’s goin’ on 12!”

Welcome to Deliverance as a family sitcom. Yessiree, this here Trash comes scooped and dumped by the Arkansas-born/Texas-dead director of the public-domain fright favorite Don’t Look in the Basement, S.F. Brownrigg.

Poor White Trash Part II has jack-squat to do with the original-recipe Poor White Trash, except the nekkid pursuit of a quick-and-easy buck. Seeing how the plain ol’ Poor White Trash was a shrewd and profitable retitling of 1957’s Bayou for the drive-in market, why not see if White lightning could strike twice? Trash Part II first entered the world with the none-too-subtle title of Scum of the Earth … but should not be confused with the 1963 Scum of the Earth, a sexploitation serving dished out by Herschell Gordon Lewis.

However, you are forgiven for any confuzzlement, because Brownrigg’s picture owes quite the debt to Lewis’ pioneering gore films (as well as his hicks-in-the-sticks flicks, e.g., Moonshine Mountain). With its shock scenes — tame by today’s standards, natch — of killbilly kapers, it also prefigures the slasher subgenre that would propagate like inbred offspring across drive-in screens by decade’s end.

Call it what you wish. Brownrigg’s blood-strewn streak of soap-opera camp makes Poor White Trash Part II tough to take seriously, but easy to take in. —Rod Lott

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Body Fever (1969)

Ray Dennis Steckler, the backyard multihyphenate whose psychotronic efforts have dealt famously with two-bit superheroes (Rat Pfink a Boo Boo) and mixed-up zombies (The Incredibly Strange Creatures), turns his lens to the world of crime in the private-eye procedural Body Fever. Aside from writing, directing and producing, Steckler takes the starring role — no surprise there — as Charlie Smith, an always napping detective for hire.

He’s hired by beefy crime boss Big Mack (Bernard Fein, Robin and the 7 Hoods) to locate one Carrie Erskine (Carolyn Brandt, then Mrs. Steckler), a sexy cat burglar — check out that snakeskin suit and Catwoman mask! — for snatching $150,000 of pure, uncut heroin from his safe. (Unbeknownst to Big Mack, the drugs immediately were stolen from her as well.) Charlie puts his feet to the Hollywood pavement and frequents local sleazy hangouts to determine Ms. Erskine’s whereabouts. When he finally does find her — dancing in his room, no less — she makes him an offer he can’t refuse: She’ll give Charlie half of the cut if he helps her get the smack back. They fall in love.

Wishfully titled Super Cool on some prints, Body Fever is neither exciting nor even suspenseful; nonetheless, there’s something enjoyable about watching Steckler — who looks like a dopier Kevin Spacey in a Gilligan cap — traipse around town in a connect-the-dots gumshoe plot of his own doing. He’s no actor — no one in his films ever is — but he does have more directorial talent than he’s given credit for; of course, he is to blame for much of that reputation, given that he could be his own worst enemy (see: The Hollywood Strangler Meets the Skid Row Slasher).

At the very least, his movies look interesting, and here, he gives himself a few arty sex scenes to direct the fuck out of. Clearly, he enjoyed it — hey, I’d give myself four sex scenes, too — so it’s hard not to be slightly charmed by this B-level potboiler. —Rod Lott

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Half Past Dead (2002)

Prophetically titled, Half Past Dead was Steven Seagal’s last theatrical hurrah as an action hero. Either as a sign of desperation or as a self-deluded desire of demonstrating range, the former tuffie agreed to wear a ’do rag and play a Russian, yet eschewed any attempt at an accent. Leave that shit to Meryl, right?

Seagal’s Sasha Petrosevitch works undercover for the FBI. As the film opens, Sasha is introduced to a crime syndicate boss named Eckvall (but it sounded like “Eggfart”), helps take down an arrogant criminal (arrogant rapper Ja Rule, 2001’s The Fast and the Furious), almost dies for it (hence the title) and dons prison garb at New Alcatraz.

While Sasha is in the clinker, a bald bad guy (Bruce Weitz, Deep Impact) is scheduled to be executed for stealing $200 million in government gold bars, and the Supreme Court justice (Linda Thorson, Curtains) who helped put him away is there to witness. So naturally, a gang of would-be thieves drops in via helicopter and takes the justice hostage until the death-row inmate reveals where he’s hidden that loot.

The treasure hunters’ leaders are played by Morris Chestnut (2015’s Heist) and Nia Peeples (Werewolf: The Beast Among Us), who looks like she’s wearing the prototype for Sears’ Underworld collection and moves as if she were Michael Myers from Halloween.

This all results in an action free-for-all. Martial arts! Pornographic gunplay! Acrobatic swinging from chains! Guards thrown through glass! Story be damned! Written and directed by former actor Don Michael Paul (Rolling Vengeance), Half Past Dead seems interested only in being so slick that one could cook pancakes on it and not have them stick. Such an approach is admittedly entertaining, even when it’s absolutely absurd. —Rod Lott

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Supervan (1977)

It is hard to believe there was a time in this country when Americans shelled out thousands of dollars not just to drive vans as a primary mode of transportation, but to emblazon them with airbrushed fantasies of mermaids and Mickey Mouse and more, all of which look to have been dictated to a slumming Frank Frazetta by a toddler who forgot to take his Ritalin that morning. And yet here, to serve as historical record (and little else) is proof: Supervan. It is a movie that is likable against odds stacked higher than used tires.

Otherwise known as Vandora, the Supervan is a solar-powered, souped-up four-wheeler of the future, today! Designed for the film by Batmobile builder George Barris, who cameos as himself, the Supervan is the great white-and-red hope for the idealistic, yet unemployed Clint Morgan (Mark Schneider, The Premonition) to score the $5,000 prize up for grabs at the second annual Non-National Invitational Freak Out. (Results after feeding that through our patent-pending Outdated Slang Translator: “van contest.”) Consisting of events ranging from the “show-and-shine” and “wiggle-woggle” to its climactic mudslide competition, the Freak Out is sponsored by the corrupt Mid America Motors Corporation, whose cigar-chomping CEO, T.B. Trenton (Morgan Woodward, Final Chapter: Walking Tall), seeks to rig the games with his firm’s new gas guzzler, the Trenton Trucker.

Adding a wrinkle to this hackneyed conflict is that en route to the Freak Out, Clint saves a cute woman named Karen (Katie Saylor, Invasion of the Bee Girls) from being gang-raped by bikers, and she instantly assumes the plot position as our youthful hero’s stock sidekick-cum-girlfriend … despite being Trenton’s daughter. The story grows no more complicated than that; viewers will find more depth in the carpeted interior of any given van on display.

Directed by Lamar Card, who gave us the following year’s equally novel Disco Fever, Supervan is less a movie than an opportunity to show off enough bitchin’ rides and braless babes to capitalize on the of-its-time trend of action-comedies rife with speed traps, sheriff’s deputies with high blood pressure and CB radio-speak that demands subtitles; interestingly, this Missouri-made picture beat the hicksploitation granddaddy, Smokey and the Bandit, to theaters by a matter of months. With seemingly endless scenes of driving and dicking around, it exudes the spirit and storytelling of a feature-length Mr. Microphone commercial, albeit one in which a car can blow another up via laser beam.

Card and his cast work hard for every joke, without precisely knowing the proper structure of one; each gag tends to be missing either the setup or the punchline. Similarly, secondary characters saunter in, free of context or introduction, then disappear without contributing to a payoff. Among them is a lisping trio of gay men vanpooling to the Freak Out, with the driver sporting a “MAN HANDLER USA” T-shirt and the dash littered with copies of Playgirl magazine. Somehow, Supervan finds room for a moment of sheer horror as a shapely wet T-shirt contestant is embraced by none other than Charles Bukowski. Clutching a pull-tab beer and with his belly having escaped to the outside of his shirt, the legendarily alcohol-soaked poet looks more unkempt than any wrecked vehicle of your choice among all 91 minutes. —Rod Lott

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Winchester (2018)

Reclusive widow Sarah Winchester (Helen Mirren, The Fate of the Furious) owns 51% of the gun company that bears her name, but the board of directors fears she’s lost her marbles since losing her husband and only child to the Grim Reaper. After all, what possible good reason could a person have to purchase an eight-room home, only to add 92 rooms onto it?

That’s what Dr. Price (Jason Clarke, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes) is going to find out! Hired by the board, the whore-lovin’, opium-droppin’ doc is dispatched to the Winchester house in San Jose, California, to assess the missus’ state of mind. What he finds is that the abode is twistier than she is, what with its maze-like stairwells, false doors, secret rooms, hidey-holes and gh-gh-gh-ghosts! Yep — with a straight face, she tells Price that her increasingly spacious house plays host to many specters: one for each life snuffed by the brand of rifle that brings her riches, which is why the residence is in perpetual renovation. (Lucky for her bank account, the story takes place in 1906.)

Topical only on the surface, Winchester finds inspiration from true events — namely, the widow’s Winchester Mystery House, long a tourist attraction — yet could stand to find more, whether in fact or in fiction. After setting up the home’s funhouse uniqueness, sibling directors Michael and Peter Spierig (Jigsaw) do not do enough with it, jettisoning it quickly for a rote possession storyline and haunted-house jump scares that could take place in any Insidious sequel.

Still, being talented pros, neither Mirren nor Clarke — nor third lead Sarah Snook (the Spierig brothers’ Predestination) as Sarah’s niece — half-ass the half-baked material, which is admirable on their part. Winchester is well-made mediocrity. —Rod Lott

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