Comedy

How to Get Ahead in Advertising (1989)

Leave a comment

In the early ’90s on the most basic of cable, I saw Withnail and I, Bruce Robinson’s acerbic dramatic comedy that’s basically an acid-laced coming-of-age tale, except the protagonists are failed actors already-of-age in their late 20s.

Along with The Young Ones, Time Bandits and a supple diet of Benny Hill, this film gave me the basic groundings of British comedy, one I fell in love with over its “God Save the Queen” pathos that embrace the rigid anarchy of the UK punk subculture I wished I were a part of.

Growing up in Blooming Grove, Texas, I reached for the entertainment section of each Friday’s Dallas Morning News. It ran small ads for an indie, esoteric and outré theater called the Inwood, which showed titles so outrageous and provocative, it made me wish I had cool parents with a sense of pop culture but, you know, whatever. The ad for How to Get Ahead in Advertising always stuck with me, wondering about this monstrous movie from the guy behind Withnail.

This week, these two life-influencing greats came together in a way I wasn’t expecting: I finally got to screen Advertising. It’s a semi-monstrous monster film — as much as brash, witty and brazen indies could be then — about slick ad exec Bagley (Richard E. Grant) and the somewhat sleazy ways his marketing campaigns become successful.

He’s working on a pimple cream campaign with no luck — until a small pimple fortuitously grows on his neck. The zit develops eyes, a mouth and, eventually, a speaking voice. Of course, it makes Bagley’s life hell. Like David Cronenberg’s The Brood, but far more stiff-upper-lipped with a starched white collar, the living canker sore engulfs Bagley and his whole persona. “Boils,” he says, “are beautiful.”

Like many things in 1980s Britain, How to Get Ahead is a rancid, devious take on the politics of Thatcher (which I was far removed from then and now) and the dark policies of coke-sniffing, ink-suffering capitalism that smothers every man, woman and child in a drowning pool of commercials.

Grant is more nuanced than usual as the staid Bagley, then becomes more manic as the film goes on, looking like Rik Mayall’s older, calmer brother. With machine-gun barbs, his performance is so cutting, it’s better than Withnail and I. I’m glad I finally saw it.

Today, the Inwood is still a movie theater, but mainstream, with screenings of A Minecraft Movie and other non-indie films. I guess How to Get Ahead in Advertising‘s selling-out prophecy came through in spades. That, I can truly say, is the worst. —Louis Fowler

Get it at Amazon.

Sci-Fi & Fantasy

Communion (1989)

Leave a comment

As played by Christopher Walken in the film Communion, with nary a Jesus cracker in sight, Whitley Strieber tries to write the Great American Novel. Because Strieber is a real-life author of The Wolfen and The Hunger, we know he won’t. But he does write the book Communion, the work of nonfiction — 😉 😉 — that ultimately will take his career to the stars.

Why? The answer’s in the butt, Bob. No Walken film is more Walken, for reasons that shall become apparent.

At a post-Christmas weekend visit to the family cabin from their NYC apartment, Whitley endures a sweaty nightmare of being visited by gray-skinned, big-eyed aliens from outer space. After returning home, his wife (Lindsay Crouse, The Arrival) notices he’s just not himself anymore — and for good reason, which surfaces under hypnosis by Misery’s Frances Sternhagen: That was no dream. And following that logic, that means the anal probe … gulp!

This causes a fissure in his rectum marriage, which may be for the best, considering the missus has a fashion sense I’d dub “Annie Hall meets Carmen Sandiego.”

The first glimpse we’re afforded of the alien is merely partial — and wholly terrifying. This bodes well for Communion. But as Whitley’s obsessions and breakdowns increasingly unhinge him from reality, Walken goes full Walken, and so does the movie! From the director’s chair, Philippe Mora (Howling II and III) approaches lucidity more liberally than his star tackles diction.

I don’t quite know how to convey the odd-as-a-$3-bill nature of Whitley’s experiences on the aliens’ ship. He parties with them in a pilgrim hat. They hang in a steam room. He high-fives an E.T. and then dances. I realize these sound like scenes from a stoner comedy where Seth Rogen might blow aliens’ minds with bong-hit lessons and, in exchange, they infuse his with, like, algebra and shit.

Seriously, these too-close encounters of the WTF kind feel as though Mora and Strieber (who adapted his own bestseller for the screenplay) are just fucking with us to see if we’re willing to swallow. I am not.

In fact, I’d steal Whitley’s ominous threat to public transit riders — “Let me tell you, you folks are in for a big surprise, one very big surprise” — and throw it right back at this maladroit movie, aiming to knock that goddamn pilgrim hat into a galaxy far, far away. That’s more action than the third section gives, and still no Jesus crackers. —Rod Lott

Get it at Amazon.

Horror

Phobias (2021)

Leave a comment

What are you afraid of? Outpost 37 wants to know. Wrapping around the five stories of Phobias, the government testing facility conducts experiments of extracting fear and turning it into a gaseous weapon. Anthologies have had dumber setups, but the well-crafted Phobias pays its more mind.

Have your dictionary of choice handy, because the segments arrive with the names “Robophobia,” “Vehophobia,” “Ephebiphobia,” “Hoplophobia” and “Atelophobia” (and I swear I didn’t sneeze while typing those). You’re likely able to guess what the first one is about — and if not, I’ll tell you: A Korean man (Leonardo Nam, The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift) is befriended by an AI entity offering to take care of his racist bullies.

And the other stories, respectively? A jilted young woman (the Pitch Perfect trilogy’s Hana Mae Lee) is astonished to find a car that controls itself. A teacher (Lauren Miller Rogen, Sausage Party) is menaced in her own home by students angry at her extracurricular exploits. A cop (Martina García, ABCs of Death 2) is forever haunted after a child is mistakenly, fatally shot in a police raid. And singer Macy Gray runs an architecture firm — poorly, of course, given the subject matter.

Each ends on a note of shock or stress, yet something short of closure. Such is the feeling for the whole of Phobias. More tonally and visually cohesive than most anthologies these days, its bits come courtesy of the directors of Monster Party, Black as Night, Stray and The Astronaut, and in her first at-bat, actress Camilla Belle, perhaps best known as the beleaguered babysitter of 2006’s When a Stranger Calls remake. —Rod Lott

Get it at Amazon.

Comedy

Hollywood Boulevard II (1990)

Leave a comment

It’d be tough to follow up Joe Dante and Allan Arkush’s Hollywood Boulevard, a self-deprecating paean to the Roger Corman filmmaking machine coming from inside the house. So Hollywood Boulevard II doesn’t try. It kinda just shows up, stands in the corner and shuffles its feet ’til it’s time to go home.

Directed by Steve Barnett (Scanner Cop II), the in-name-only sequel that’s actually a remake leverages the combined star power of Ginger Lynn Allen, Eddie Deezen, Robert Patrick and Morgan Freeman … ’s name on a Lean on Me marquee to once again spoof low-budget filmmaking.

In particular, its soft target is the bread-and-butter junk genres that carried Corman straight to the bank’s deposits-only line throughout the ’80s: your jungle war epics, sword-and-sandal-and-sex adventures and marked-down space sagas. The latter appears right away, flaunting four breasts in the first minute as part of a Star Trek parody aboard a spaceship shaped like a uterus and fallopian tubes.

As aspiring actress Candy Chandler, Allen gets her big break when a stuffed-animal bomb explodes, taking Miracle Pictures’ reigning starlet off the cast list, forever. And that’s hardly the last of the “accidents.” Taking a page from Traci Lords going legit via Corman with the 1988 makeover of Not of This Earth, Hollywood Boulevard II represents Allen’s own sprint for mainstream stardom after nearly a decade of hardcore porn (Beverly Hills Cox, Poonies and Supergirls Do General Hospital). She doesn’t embarrass herself, but Candice Rialson she is not.

Three first-time screenwriters follow Dante and Arkush’s template, including judicious use of B-roll from other Corman flicks, but not jokes that land. This second stroll down the Boulevard simply isn’t funny. I found one exception in a romantic ballad. Playing over Candy making sweet, sweet love amid rear-projected footage, its mocking lyrics include “Two hands / Two breasts / C’mon, don’t tell me you don’t know the rest” and “There’s passion in the air tonight / I know, I know, I know cuz I can smell it.” Hardly enough to take a whiff. —Rod Lott

Get it at Amazon.

Mystery

The Return of Dr. Mabuse (1961)

Leave a comment

Criminal mastermind Dr. Mabuse isn’t the only one who returns in, well, The Return of Dr. Mabuse. So does Gert Fröbe, Goldfinger himself, as Inspector Lohmann. Having to cancel a fishing trip he was looking forward to so much that he patted his wife’s prodigious rear, Lohmann investigates the murder of a man to keep incriminating evidence from coming to light.

It should surprise no one that Mabuse (Wolfgang Preiss, Mill of the Stone Women) is behind it all. The pro villain is also behind a new narcotic that, when injected, turns prisoners into hypno-slaves — all the better to overtake the local atomic power plant. If only Lohmann can stop him! It should surprise no one that Lohmann can, albeit with the assistance of an FBI agent (Lex Barker, after five swings as Tarzan) and a comely photographer (Daliah Lavi, 1965’s Ten Little Indians).

More fun than the previous film, Fritz Lang’s The Thousand Eyes of Dr. Mabuse, Harald Reinl’s mean franchise debut with Return boasts a bevy of exploitable elements, from rudimentary car chases to a runaway train. You might think the highlight of this lean and kinda Eurocrime pic is the blind man meeting his end between a brick wall and a truck grill, but you’d be wrong. That honor goes to the floozy who gets flambéd by a flamethrower — in front of the Bimbo Bar, no less! —Rod Lott

Get it at Amazon.

Random Genre & Cult Movie Reviews