Hit List (1989)

If William Lustig has a B-movie masterpiece, it’s neither Maniac nor Maniac Cop. I nominate his forgotten Hit List, a pulpy crime pic of economical gangster warfare in present-day, not-at-all-confidential L.A. With one of the tallest stacked character-actor casts a limited amount of money can buy, the coastal change does Lustig good.

Aging federal agent Mitchum (Charles Napier, 1997’s Steel) is on his requisite Last Case: babysitting greasy mobster Frank DeSalvo (Leo Rossi, 1981’s Halloween II) under protective custody before testifying in a grand jury against Teflon-coated heroin importer Vic Luca (Rip Torn, A Stranger Is Watching). DeSalvo’s child, Frank Jr., is none too pleased at having to hide at the safe house: “Dad, all dey got is microwave pancakes,” da kid sez like a pint-sized Pesci in training. “But dey ain’t got no microwave.”

Flapjacks excepted, DeSalvo’s biggest worry is the target on his head. See, Luca’s hired someone named Caleek, which sounds like the Wonder Twins’ monkey sidekick, to ice DeSalvo before court. As played by Lance Henriksen in a performance more bonkers than his Stone Cold turn, Caleek is a cat-burglin’ karate-chop assassin so badass, he brazenly drives a van with a “1 KILLR” vanity plate.

Caleek makes a big boo-boo in entering not the safe house, but the one across the street. Thus, unable to locate Frank, he kidnaps who he thinks is Frank Jr., but the child actually belongs to family man Jack Collins (Jan-Michael Vincent, Vigilante Force). In a flash, Collins shifts into Not Without My Alcohol Daughter mode, except with, y’know, a son.

With Collins forcing DeSalvo to join forces to get his kid back, Hit List shifts into a rip-roaring, Rip Torning buddy actioner without even bothering to push the clutch. Their shootout with Luca’s goons within a game of laser tag makes for an ingenious highlight, what with the underaged running around with imaginary zappers.

Video store customers at the time might recall Hit List for its car-crawler cover art, so incredible it practically drove off the rental shelves and into your heart. Unlike so many misleading VHS boxes, the scene shown actually appears in the movie. Lustig not only stages that scene, but showcases as it the climax in a parking garage as Collins attempts to flee Caleek, who climbs all over the moving car like a certain Teutonic cyborg. It’s a stellar action sequence, ending with a sick joke so obvious, yet so, so Lustig. —Rod Lott

Get it at Amazon.

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