Polyester (1981)

Many people consider Pink Flamingos or Female Trouble to be John Waters’ bad-taste masterpieces, but I rudely disagree and instead offer the soap opera parody Polyester as the true mark of his dirty genius.

With this 1981 comedy, Waters reached a mainstream high-point with the casting of former teen idol Tab Hunter, but the actor (actress?) who truly stands out is, of course, Divine, as overly sympathetic housewife Francine Fishpaw. She’s a typically put-upon and long-suffering woman, constantly taken advantage of by her no-good family: porn theater-owning husband Elmer, foot-stomping son Dexter and table-dancing daughter Lu-Lu.

When the sleazy hubby is caught cheating with his skanky secretary, Francine spirals into a comical abyss of exaggerated alcoholism and lugubrious smells, with her only remaining friend being cleaning lady turned upper-class socialite Cuddles (Edith Massey), who routinely shows up to take her shopping at swanky Baltimore joints only the nouveau riche can truly love.

Things begin looking up, however, when Francine finds lusty love with handsome hunk Todd Tomorrow (Hunter) and all of the carnal pleasures that he brings the plus-size paramour; of course, being a Waters film, it won’t be long until the violently outrageous finale with a happy ending that only a Baltimorean (or Baltimorean at heart) could wish for and truly love.

Complete with an Odorama card that allows audience members to smell bad pizza, stinky sneakers and far, far worse — it’s better than 3-D! — the ludicrous one-liners come fast and furious, matched only by the odious plot that pays homage to both Douglas Sirk and William Castle. Forty years later, Polyester is still a riotous film that satirically peels back the rotten onion that is the nuclear American household.  —Louis Fowler

Get it at Amazon.

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