With Mick Garris in charge, the anthology film Nightmare Cinema is more or less Masters of Horror: The Movie, so at least you know what you’re in for. As helmed by Garris, the wraparound segments take place in Pasadena’s abandoned Rialto theater, where the projectionist is played by the Expendable Mickey Rourke, yet looks like Val Kilmer. Into this historic single-screen moviehouse wander five people — separately, but all curiously attracted to seeing their names on the marquee outside. Naturally, their individual stories are shown to them — and also to us, each from a director with horror bona fides.
The filmmaker with the least name recognition, Juan of the Dead’s Alejandro Brugués, comes first, getting things off to a roaring start with “The Thing in the Woods.” Beginning as a send-up of slashers, this well-choreographed piece of splat-stick aims for yuks and yucks before turning the tale on its (split-open) head, subverting everything you’ve just seen. It’s also the strongest of the quintet by far, so things are all downhill from here.
Having played in the anthology sandbox before, both successfully (Twilight Zone: The Movie) and less so (Trapped Ashes), Gremlins’ Joe Dante effortlessly offers “Mirari.” In this pleasingly lightweight bit of medical malpractice, a pretty young woman (Zarah Mahler, Beyond Skyline) agrees to let a cosmetic surgeon (a game Richard Chamberlain, Allan Quatermain and the Lost City of Gold) do a little nip-and-tuck to her facial scar before her wedding. The result is from-the-start predictable, yet fun to see played out.
In the Catholic school-set “Mashit,” Ryûhei Kitamura (The Midnight Meat Train) turns in quite possibly the bloodiest thing you’ll see all year. Its subliminal flashes are a nice, eerie touch; its elongated end battle featuring a sword-slinging priest (Maurice Benard, Mi Vida Loca) is not. 30 Days of Night’s David Slade follows with “This Way to Egress,” a black-and-white tale that finds the ever-reliable Elizabeth Reaser (Ouija: Origin of Evil) traversing an office building structured like an actual nightmare. Containing a heavy dose of David Cronenberg’s eXistenZ, the segment may lack cogency, but because that is its point, that also is its greatest strength.
Finally, in directing the last story, Garris generously gifts himself the slot of showstopper. And boy, does he ever stop the show — right in its tracks, unfortunately. “Dead” is an unqualified dud, concerning a piano prodigy (feature-debuting Faly Rakotohavan) nearly killed along with his parents in a carjacking. Well, technically, he is killed, but emergency-room doctors are able to bring him back to life, albeit one in which he can interact with the deceased. It culminates in a twist worthy of a pretzel — the stick kind — and a floating-head speech from his mom (a wasted Annabeth Gish, Before I Wake) so poorly executed, it’s laughable.
Don’t waste your time with Garris’ contribution, which, at half an hour, wastes a lion’s share of the running time. Had Nightmare Cinema ended at four stories instead of five, it would be a dream. —Rod Lott