When “the Godfather of Gore,” Herschell Gordon Lewis, passed away in 2016, his final movie was 2009’s The Uh-Oh! Show. That footnote since has been supplanted by Herschell Gordon Lewis’ BloodMania, a four-part anthology that’s at least four times worse than the previous worst thing he had done, which is really saying something — and I’m a fan! Seriously, The Uh-Oh! Show — highly flawed, yet highly fun — is Call Me by Your Name compared to this.
Following interminable opening credits that treat its no-name actors as if they constitute an all-star cast à la It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World, Lewis addresses the video camera as himself, an ersatz Cryptkeeper to introduce each deplorable tale, half of which he directed, including the first.
Of that one, “Gory Story,” he declares, “You’re about to get your money’s worth” — a promise unfulfilled, even if you watch the film for free. Brewster Bricabrac (Roger LeBlanc, Painkillers) possesses a possessed hook hand, which continues to injure him — a single joke dragged out 20 minutes too long. While an improvement, “The Night Hag,” also from our host and about a hairy she-creature haunting a suburban family’s home, fails to engage past an initial, quickly discarded sitcom spoof.
Freshman filmmaker Melanie Reinboldt directs “Attack of Conscience,” featuring a comatose woman (Sonia Deleo) who dreams of dying over and over at the hands of her abusive lover (Donovan Cerminara, 30 Days of Night: Dark Days). This short is not only confusing, but tonally askew from the rest of the picture. Finally, tyro helmer Kevin Littlelight offers “GOREgeous,” in which former rock star Gordo (Stuart Bentley), suffering from erectile dysfunction, slices and dices his “deaf retard” wife and continues a murderous rampage from there. It’s the kind of piece in which a girl complains, “These high heels are killing me!” while a high heel juts from her bloodied, stabbed back.
Groan. I’d dub BloodMania unwatchable, if not for the fact that I watched the damn thing. It took me three days to get through it. Avoid at all costs; your allegiance for Lewis should go only so far. —Rod Lott