To call Cyclone by that title is disingenuous on the part of René Cardona Jr., considering that weather event takes up little more than his film’s opening. Then again, what was Cardona (Guyana: Cult of the Damned) if not a second-generation shameless opportunist? Of course he would go with Cyclone! When you’re marketing a Mexploitation action-thriller, that name puts butts in seats; The Glass-Bottom Boat does not.
One year before venturing into The Bermuda Triangle, Cardona set sail with Cyclone, a veritable companion piece largely taking place aboard a sightseeing boat full of Hollywood has-beens (as was Tinseltown’s Towering wont), including Killer Cop’s Arthur Kennedy as a priest; Baby Doll’s Carroll Baker as a spoiled, rich lady traveling with a tiny dog; and, just prior to securing that long-running TV gig on Hart to Hart, Lionel Stander as … well, as whatever an ape and a Troll Doll might resemble after drunkenly stumbling into David Cronenberg’s Brundlefly machine.
Anyway, about that fierce, fake-looking tropical storm: It’s over and done with rather quickly, all in service of a survival story that strands the aforementioned ship of fools (read: tourists) in the middle of the ocean and under the ever-sweltering sun with next to no supplies. Just because most of the movie is stuck on the high seas does not mean it’s stuck in a rut. Quite the opposite, the flick gets “gooder” as hope of rescue dwindles. How else were Cardona and co-writer Carlos Valdemar (Vacation of Terror) supposed to get to the cannibalism? Or the human buffet for the circling sharks? Or the (awfully realistic-looking) murder of Baker’s prized pooch when she breaks the ration rules by attempting to give it drinkable water?
Oh, you wanted restraint? Hey, at least he didn’t kill the baby that’s born amid all the suffering and despair. The way the just-birthed (but somehow placenta-free) infant gets passed in a circle, from hungry stranger to hungry stranger, you’ll half-expect Cardona to go there … and be fully disappointed when he doesn’t. And yet, the answer to the question, “Is this Cardona film worth watching?” is the same answer to the question, “Is Hugo Stiglitz in it?” For enthusiasts of the disaster genre — particularly those who prefer their entries served up clinically insane — Cyclone is a time-suck definitely worth the sacrifice. —Rod Lott