With Guns Girls & Gambling, writer/director Michael Winnick is a good 15 years too late to the Quentin Tarantino rip-off party. Aw, man, you remember who was there, right? Let’s see, there was Things to Do in Denver When You’re Dead, Albino Alligator, Suicide Kings, that ridiculous Boondoggle one that all the frat boys like — lotsa others. At least he’s fashionably late.
After participating unsuccessfully at an Indian gaming casino’s Elvis impersonator contest, broke loser John Smith (Christian Slater, donning The King’s duds again after not learning his lesson in 3000 Miles to Graceland) is accused of stealing a million-dollar ancient Apache warrior mask from the venue. With that kind of price tag, everyone comes out of the woodwork looking — and willing to kill — for it, including a cowboy named Cowboy (Lawnmower Man Jeff Fahey) and a dead-sexy assassin in form-fitting black tights (Helena Mattsson, Species: The Awakening) who quotes Poe to her targets prior to pulling the trigger, just because.
Also just because: a gay Elvis, an Asian Elvis, a little-person Elvis, a Gary Oldman Elvis. Further crowding the “yeah, what the hell” column, two sheriffs figure into the story, one of whom is played by “comedian” Dane Cook. Like him, Guns is not as funny as it thinks; unlike him, Guns does rise to the level of mild escapism. Don’t ask much of it and you might find yourself enjoying its expired quirks.
Because the film was direct-to-DVD, several strikes against it come built-in: poor green-screen work, computer-animated blood, the Comic Sans font, stock footage, Chris Kattan. On the plus side, the pic feels more like a Smokin’ Aces sequel than the actual one, Smokin’ Aces 2: Assassins’ Ball. —Rod Lott
It’s official: from now on, he’ll be forever referred to as “comedian” Dane Cook.
Funny that after HEATHERS, I thought Christian Slater would be one of those actors who would go on to do some interesting stuff. You know, before picking two decades worth of bad movies to be in. But my question: What the hell is Gary Oldman doing in this? Was it blackmail? A roofie? A favor for the mob?