Sword-and-sorcery flicks differ country to country. For example, here in America, our barbarians punch camels; in Turkey, they weep over a dead dog. Pussies. At least that’s the case with Tarkan, an adventurer created for Turkish comics and adapted to several live-action films, including Tarkan Versus the Vikings.
Tarkan (Kartal Tibet) looks like Charles Bronson (it’s the ‘stache) if he wore a long, blond wig, which we know Bronson would never do. In the comics, Tarkan’s companion is a badass wolf; here, it’s a German shepherd. Named Kurt. I don’t care how many tables Tarkans throws at his enemies, either — if you aren’t pushing the Wheel of Pain and balling Sandahl Bergman, you ain’t shit.
Good thing everyone else in the movie is more vicious than he. Its violence comes brutal and bloody — especially for its age — complete with more than one stabbed infant! What do you expect from those durn Vikings, who tie up their detractors to a dock so they may be sacrificed to a giant octopus?
Better Turkish fantasy actioners may have existed — maybe even from the Tarkan franchise — but how many contain such translated dialogue as “The game is up, you Asian rat” and, best of all, “Kurt, guard this bitch here.” —Rod Lott