A veteran of World War II, Lou (Charles Durning, Dark Night of the Scarecrow) just wants to live a quiet life and do things no more strenuous than teaching his grandson (Cory “Bumper” Yothers, Dreamscape) how to operate an RC tank that could actually kill someone. Those retirement plans look to topple after one trip to his pal’s diner, where Lou witnesses a double-donut shoplifter get machine-gunned to death by a drug gang. Oops.

Sure enough, Lou is targeted all over town, primarily by the gang’s gangly, glaring leader (Luis Contreras, Dollman), which begs the question, “Why keep going into town?” And that begs a second question: Did Durning read the script before joining the project? Because he strikes me as the kind of guy who would be concerned over the sheer number of pages containing the phrase “Lou runs.”

Once he fingers the perps in a police lineup, the gang members — all ethnic, of course — head for his home. That’s where the heart is, as well as a box containing Lou’s WWII weapons and whatnot. Lou shoe-polishes his face (not enough to get canceled), Home Alones his house and readies that bayonet so he may — cue the title — Stand Alone. Well, if you don’t the assistance from his police buddy (Pam Grier, Pet Sematary: Bloodlines), that is.

Stand Alone plays a lot like that same year’s Death Wish 3, if Charles Bronson had a basketball-sized pelvis. This Lone Star State-lensed revenger arrived first, by a mere two months. Curiously, New World Pictures marketed the pic more akin to Walking Tall, complete with Durning clutching a wooden bat as big as Joe Don Baker’s hittin’ stick. —Rod Lott

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With believable stoicism, Lee Hye-yeong (2008’s The Devil’s Game) plays the title character of The Old Woman with the Knife, the arthritic assassin Hornclaw. She’s prepping for One Last Job for her employer, which bills itself as a pest-control agency specializing in “eradicating malignant vermin” — in other words, translated to Dexter-ese, people who deserve it.

Or at least that’s how it used to operate, giving the noble Hornclaw another reason to get out of the hit-lady game. She holds distinct disdain for their latest hire, the young, brash, arrogant and unpredictable Bullfight (Kim Sung-cheol, Search Out). Director and co-writer Min Kyu-dong (Memento Mori) wants to keep you guessing whether Bullfight is friend or foe. And guess you will because the movie suffers from a narrative so scattershot, the story doesn’t settle into place until its first hour passes.

Needlessly convoluted, this South Korean film isn’t strong in the engagement department. Sure, the action sequences give it an occasional bump, such as Hornclaw’s version of Oldboy’s famous hallway brawl or being buried alive with thousands of maggots atop her. But these respites stand little chance of sticking when Min’s primary concern is shoving recurring metaphors under our noses again and again.

As if the title, Hornclaw’s impending retirement, Hornclaw’s involuntary shaky hands or Bullfight belittling her with the “hag” label don’t already give it away, our protagonist is elderly. Uncertain you got that and what aging means, Min fills The Old Woman with the Knife’s script with persistent and repeated discussion of bruised fruit no one purchases, injured strays no one adopts and expired waste awaiting disposal. It’s like italicizing what’s already in bold, then underlining it, circling it in red and highlighting it in neon yellow. And maybe even pink and orange, too, jussssst to be safe.

We get it. Boy, do we get it. As Bullfight utters, “So much for being a legend.” —Rod Lott

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Vanishing Point’s Barry Newman takes the wheel of Fear Is the Key as John Talbot, a man who has nothing to lose — because he already has. In the first scene, he’s mid-conversation via radio with his wife when her plane is shot down, killing her.

Cut to: rural Louisiana. Now, Talbot gives zero fucks. While driving through the Deep South, he runs afoul of the law and ends up hauled to court. So he simply shoots his way out, taking an unlucky spectator named Sarah (Suzy Kendall, Circus of Fear) hostage.

Stealing a ’72 Ford Gran Torino, Talbot kicks off an extraordinary car chase with a brassy Roy Budd score. Seriously, this sequence is an all-time great, nipping at the trunks of Bullitt and The French Connection. It’s great distraction to keep viewers from realizing screenwriter Robert Carrington (Wait Until Dark) lets a whole act pass before letting us know what the heck Talbot’s even doing in Louisiana, much less start plotting.  

Sarah’s the daughter of an oil baron (Ray McAnally, Taffin) with several heavies on his payroll. Rather than send Talbot six feet under for kidnapping, they enlist him on a deep-sea salvage mission for millions in jewels. The scene when Talbot glimpses their target on the ocean floor is a thing of beauty — so breathtaking, it’s odd director Michael Tuchner (1971’s Villain) soon found himself toiling for the tube.

Something of an outlier for an adaptation of Alistair MacLean, the novelist responsible for every existing movie with “Navarone” in its title, Fear Is the Key hums with quality. Although Newman is not the “SUPER COOL DANGER-FREAK” as the Australian one-sheet proclaimed, he’s a reliable presence and — necessary for highly flawed heroes — affable. At his side, Kendall possesses great beauty, great lungs for screaming and an awful Louisiana accent.

John Vernon (Dirty Harry), Dolph Sweet (Brian De Palma’s Sisters) and, in his first film, that Sexy Beast Ben Kingsley nail their supporting roles. Apropos of nothing but Key’s overall quality, their characters bear incredible names: respectively, Vyland, Jablonksi and Royale — no cheese whatsoever.

An unheralded crime film awaiting discovery, Fear Is the Key transitions baby-butt smoothly from action to adventure while staying sublime all the while. —Rod Lott

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What I remember most from John Wick: Chapter 2 is the sequence of so many assassins receiving and reacting to news of a fresh bounty on the hero’s well-coiffed head. Something tells me the screenwriters of Fight or Flight do, too — that “something” being the setup for their action pic. It’s one that never clears the creative tarmac, perhaps burdened by the weight of so many F-bombs as punchlines.

Continuing his comeback bid since fronting M. Night Shyamalan’s Trap last year, Josh Hartnett goes bleached-blond and boozy as Lucas Reyes, an ex-Secret Service agent living the low life in Bangkok. He’s unofficially reactivated by his former superior/lover (Katee Sackhoff, Oculus) to capture an enigmatic “black hat terrorist” named The Ghost, who’s tracked boarding a flight outta Bangkok and bound for San Francisco.

With word of The Ghost’s bounty spread like MAGAspiracies across the dark web, the double-decker jet is positively packed with killers eager for an easy payday. Plus — and isn’t this wacky — there’s a price on Lucas’ head, too! With that little wrinkle, Fight or Flight jams itself into your eyes and ears as a plane-set Bullet Train, but wit, thrills and invention apparently have been confiscated by TSA.

Hartnett does what he can, which is make the film at least watchable. His weary personality is the second-best thing the movie has going for it, just behind Marko Zaror (John Wick: Chapter 4), the martial-arts B-movie icon who delights in a too-brief bit as an opponent Hartnett tussles with in a too-large airplane bathroom. Zaror always gets to show his moves, but comedic chops? Fight or Flight could use more of his energy, rather than dispatching him quickly for prolonged retread nonsense. —Rod Lott

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One year before he picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue in Airplane!, Lloyd Bridges played a Secret Service agent in Disaster on the Coastliner, exactly the type of movie the 1980 landmark comedy parodied. 

With the U.S. vice president’s wife aboard a commuter train from L.A. to San Francisco, Bridges’ Mitchell plants himself in the Amtrak dispatch office, much to the irritated-AF exasperation of Snyder (E.G. Marshall, Creepshow), its department head. As Snyder and staff monitor their blinking wall of lights, Mitchell scoffs, barks orders and complains about the dadgum computers. 

Turns out, Mitchell has a point. Those computers don’t mean diddly squat when the train is hijacked by a big galoot (Pieces’ Paul L. Smith) who happens to be a freshly fired employee. He retaliates in the way he knows will hurt the rail service the most: engineering a collision of two trains by sending one the wrong way down a one-way track.

The solution to avoid “the worst disaster in railroad history”? Easy: Just divert one train to another track … by adding 30 yards’ worth in 90 minutes. Suddenly, an entire crew is workin’ on the railroad all the live-long lickety-split to make that happen. That’s impressive considering I can’t even wake my teenage son in that amount of time. 

Disaster being a disaster movie, subplots abound. All aboard, William Shatner’s con man tries to get laid by romancing a fellow passenger — understandably since she’s played by Jackson County Jail’s Yvette Mimieux. In what counts as a twist, The Shat is not the guy who mansplains sushi to an Asian woman. Meanwhile, as the train company chairman, Raymond Burr (Godzilla 1985) sits at a desk and never stands. 

With Coastliner being made for television, call it The Taking of Pelham $1.23. One can see why ABC tapped Vanishing Point’s Richard C. Sarafian to direct. After all, a speeding car isn’t that different from a speeding train, right? Right?

While Sarafian doesn’t conduct this to the level of choo-choo jitters seen in big-screen blockbusters like The Fugitive or Mission: Impossible — Dead Reckoning, it certainly surpasses Under Siege 2. And unlike the pilot pic for Supertrain that same prime-time season, it manages to deliver an actual derailment sequence. From its punch-card teletype titles, I was in. —Rod Lott

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