Two moderately appealing lovers frolic on the shore, playing guitars and rejecting sexual advances, but something monstrous is waiting for them in the water. To the similar-sounding cues from a very popular theme by John Williams, a swimming woman gets dragged down to the merciful depths of the shallow water; we can only assume that the much-loved shark Jaws has moved into a freshwater lake in the beautiful Italian countryside.
Turns out, however, we’re actually in an unnamed Latin American country and, what the hell, it’s not a shark, it’s a crocodile. A killer crocodile, if you will.
As a group of annoying journalists (led by Richard Crenna’s son, Richard Anthony Crenna, The Great Los Angeles Earthquake) venture down the river in search of fake news to write regarding multiple cans of toxic waste destroying the marshlands, they come across the foam-and-latex killer crocodile, picking them off one by one; the newsmakers plan to get revenge on the murderous reptile with a series of stupider and stupider plans after each well-earned kill.
Meanwhile, the crocodile stays busy, eating small dogs and smaller children as well.
A local adventurer — complete with a seemingly magical floppy hat — helps the survivors to track the killer crocodile down; additionally, they’re in a sad race with the town’s linen-suited judge (played by Hollywood legend Van Johnson, The Scorpion with Two Tails) and his local toxic waste broker, apparently also on the hunt for the crocodile, mainly so they can catch him and blow him up with dynamite. Luckily, the croc eats their boat.
Directed by Fabrizio de Angelis under his Karate Warrior series pseudonym Larry Ludman, even though the crocodile and many of the bloody effects are usually effective, as you can guess, everything else here is bottom of the toxic waste barrel, all done in the likably exploitative style that the Italians became known and vaunted for, at least by lonely dudes at horror conventions.
Killer Crocodile, interestingly enough, was shot back-to-back with its very similar sequel, but didn’t we kind of say everything we really needed to about killer crocs with this one? —Louis Fowler
Since having a stroke over a year ago, I’ve lost close to 200 pounds. And, even though I’m considerably older than the titular Brittany in Brittany Runs a Marathon, how the world’s opinion changes — for good and bad — when you drastically change yourself is so honestly depicted here that, unless you’ve been through it, you’ll probably never understand.
The tribulations that Brittany goes through to get to the marathon, from dealing with random food binges to mysterious leg pains to an Instagram roommate who tells her she be fat again soon, is an earnest account of an unhealthy person trying to change not only her outer self, but her inner self as well. That being said, it is also dramatically funny at times when it doesn’t intrinsically hurt.
