Not a single cast member from the Wes Craven-presented Dracula 2000 returned for Dracula II: Ascension, the first of two straight-to-video sequels, and who can blame them?

Picking up where D2K ended, with the count burnt to a crisp on a neon crucifix, Ascension wheels the charred corpse of the vampire lord into a morgue, where the enterprising workers steal the body, sensing an opportunity to make some money. They take it to the conveniently vacant and isolated mansion of their professor, played by Craig Sheffer. He’s confined to a wheelchair because of cerebral palsy and has his left hand drawn up and turned in a way that looks like he’s constantly playing charades and no one has yet guessed “hieroglyphics.”

Sheffer — like Stephen Hawking without the RoboVoice and the charisma — believes the key to his cellular regeneration lies within the blood of Dracula, so he has his students revive the body by literally giving him a bloodbath. It works, and the first to die is former Playboy Playmate of the Year Brande Roderick, who briefly comes back as cinema’s only vampire to sport matching red bra and panties from Victoria’s Secret semi-annual lingerie sale. Eventually dying (but not soon enough) is the token black guy who, after sprouting fangs, exclaims with no irony, “I got the hooyah power in me!”

Meanwhile, the increasingly oval-faced Jason Scott Lee tracks them down. He’s a priest-cum-vampire hunter, as quick with the scythe as he is with the scripture, and he is as intent on saving souls as he is severing heads. Oh, and what of Drac? He’s tied up for nearly the entire movie, freed of his chains only at the end to set up Dracula III: Legacy, leaving one to hope it has more bite. —Rod Lott

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Women’s prison was a cinch compared to the boardinghouse for Margaret, aka The Girl in Room 2A. And not because of the blood spot under the carpet or the god-awful wallpaper. It’s the guy in the red-pantyhose mask and matching cape who steals the babes who live there and takes them to a torture dungeon, where they are whipped, electrocuted, prodded and poked.

Margaret (Daniela Giordano, Mario Bava’s Four Times That Night) was busted at a party where grass and pills were being consumed; while she didn’t partake, guilt by association landed her behind bars for a short time. Upon release, one of the guards steers her toward a place to stay, ran by the kindly Mrs. Grant (Giovanna Galletti, Kill Baby, Kill). On her first night, a nerve-addled Margaret “hallucinates” the pantyhose man coming into her room.

The brother (John Scanlon, Escape from Alcatraz) of 2A’s previous occupant investigates his sister’s out-of-character death: “Cut the jazz! What’s she talking about?” Could it be Frank (Angelo Infanti, The Godfather), Mrs. Grant’s nerdy son whose workshop is filled with mannequin heads and miniature guillotines? Or perhaps that strange cult that holds meetings on the ground floor, hmmmmm?

The final film directed by sex-pic auteur William Rose, The Girl in Room 2A doesn’t quite reach the Hostel-ility posed by its prologue. Whenever the L’eggs-clad villain shows up, the Italian thriller fills with a little life for scenes of death. Whenever it doesn’t, the movie feels like a series of red herrings biding time until the inevitable conclusion. —Rod Lott

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