Late one night, all-girl punk group Kill, Pussy, Kill! (exclamation certainly not mine) gets stranded on the road to the next gig. The band members are kidnapped by a would-be Good Samaritan (’90s TV heartthrob Richard Grieco), who tosses them into the basement of a former American solider now calling himself “the Mastermind,” a self-ascribed moniker as pretentious as it is mysterious.
Voiced by Megadeth founder and frontman Dave Mustaine (not that his speaking voice triggers such recognition) and played by Jed Rowen (That’s a Wrap) in physical form, the Mastermind is all kinds of fucked up after being captured, tortured and facially mutilated by the enemy in Pakistan on Halloween 2004.
Now, from the confines of his wheelchair and Darkman getup, he teaches lessons in sacrifice to clueless, carefree youth. In a progression of dingy cement rooms that look the same, the Mastermind forces Amber Stardust (Sara Malakul Lane, Beyond the Gates) and her fellow pawns through tasks and traps involving a motorized rifle, sarin gas and old-timey Oscar winner Margaret O’Brien (Meet Me in St. Louis), presumably because Marcus Welby, M.D. episode royalties ain’t what they used to be.
With Halloween Pussy Trap Kill! Kill!, prolific writer and director Jared Cohn (Street Survivors: The True Story of the Lynyrd Skynyrd Plane Crash) takes the concept of Grand Guignol gamesmanship to new lows of attempted viewer engagement, so prepare to Saw some logs. When the sight of Grieco (who’s actually good here) is ultimately more welcome than nudity, you might feel as imprisoned as the leads.
While Cohn’s idea isn’t original, it’s certainly ripe for exploitation. But also with better execution. A failed Rob Zombie imitation, Pussy Trap aims for an oil-and-water mix of heavy transgression and light comedy. I did laugh once, when trick-or-treaters complain about the candy offered at the Mastermind household, so Mrs. Mastermind (Kelly Erin Decker, Dracula in a Women’s Prison) blows them up with a live grenade. That’ll teach ’em. —Rod Lott