I’m always leery of movies that star pro wrestlers, yet I’m not sure why. After all, Kane killed it in See No Evil, John Cena has become a gifted comedian in the likes of Blockers, and Dwayne Johnson is doing just fine, thanks. So let’s blame Hulk Hogan.
Now comes a WWE star I’ve never even heard of, CM Punk (née Phil Brooks), in the indie haunted-house shocker Girl on the Third Floor. He’s pretty good. The film is great.
With his patient wife (Trieste Kelly Dunn of the brilliant Cold Weather) about-to-burst pregnant, Punk/Brooks’ Don is moving his family to a Victorian home in a picturesque suburb. Because the house needs a lot of TLC, he moves in beforehand for a top-to-bottom renovation. After all, marbles drop from the upper stories, one wall sports splotches of mold, and the electrical outlets throughout look vaginal to the point of Giger-ian, complete with oozing fluid not unlike semen. The place even comes with a built-in seductress (sexy Sarah Brooks, 100 Days to Live) who may be a ghost.
Needless to say, Something’s Not Right. And it’s a doozy.
While a seasoned producer of genre movies like Big Ass Spider! and XX, Travis Stevens has never made a feature before. He’s obviously been observing the craft, however, because in his first at-bat, he reveals a keen eye for composition and a mastery of mood. Part of the latter is knowing when to employ the score (composed in part by legendary music producer Steve Albini), which manages to support the story, rather than telegraph it.
He also gets a semisolid performance out of Brooks (also in the Rabid remake), who seems to know his limitations and tries to stay within the lines. Aside from the farm of tattoos, Brooks looks like Jon Hamm after a 30-day juice cleanse. His character makes an unforgivable choice in Act 1 that feels like a misstep at first, until we gradually learn the man is deeply flawed. As the practical effects keep piling on, the viewer wonders if Don might have earned all the hell coming his way, which makes for a more interesting picture. By the end, Girl on the Third Floor is the film that the Stevens-produced We Are Still Here so badly wanted to be. —Rod Lott