I have always had the wholly holy belief that a Christian-made found-footage film — especially in the realm of diabolical spiritual horror — would be an interesting and entertaining way to preach the message and mysteries of the Gospel … and then I actually saw one, in the form of the barely released movie The Lock In.

The opening crawl informs us that we are watching a home video that is meant only for the judgmental eyes of the board of elders at the First Baptist Church, which might seem like a creepy way to keep this footage under wraps and far from public view, but living in Oklahoma has taught me that it’s how many churches keep their dirty laundry hidden, be it cases of demon possession or, you know, accusations of child molestation.

A group of overly caffeinated teens are on the way to a lock-in at their local church, all hoping to “get crazy” and help a friend possibly kiss a girl. On their way there, however, they stop by an area dumpster and find an old porno magazine; now, as a committed dumpster diver during the first half of the ’90s, believe me, the last thing you want in your hands is trashed porn, with layer after layer of grimy, stuck-together pages, simply dripping with the devil’s country gravy.

Regardless, one of the teens sticks the paper bag-wrapped periodical (which we never see, natch) in a backpack; the guys head to the church where Youth Pastor Chris lays down the rules, including that the place is wired with night-vision cameras, as well as an internet nanny that will alert him by phone if anyone is watching adult videos. Good thing, I guess, the guys brought that magazine … or is it?

The magazine is quickly discovered by Pastor Chris; his solution is to burn it outside as quickly as possible. A few minutes later, however, the magazine is back, showing up again in the backpack. When they try to throw it away, a demonic growl is heard and a garbage can is thrown down the hall. Fearfully moving down the stairs, the teens find themselves in a dark and empty church, and then the forced horror truly begins.

Filled with bad teen actors doing even worse teen improv, most of the film is simply the teens running around the modern church, screaming at one another and, eventually, begging and pleading to Jesus for forgiveness, which, as a Christian film, is understandable. Sadly, my prayers to be interested and entertained when I was watching The Lock In went woefully unanswered, a lament I can fully admit to as a believer in and of speculative Christianity. —Louis Fowler